Holding pattern

I'm still at home. The Geek had to go back to work today. (BOOOO!) So I've been puttering around doing minimal stuff and resting, like I'm supposed to.

As for the second ultrasound (boys-skip over this if you get grossed out by clinical terms) they found my cervix to be closed and long with is exactly what it is supposed to be. The Geek and I were leaving the tech's office and I said how funny it was that he now knows more about the state of my body that he ever has. I mean, really. What if I could tell you the daily (or more likely - monthly) state of his colon? It would be a little odd. But he knows all about the inner workings of my plumbing! Pregnancy definitely discourages modesty.

I did do some pre-natal yoga this morning which really helped relax me and make my back stop hurting. The baby girl seemed to like it a lot! She really squiggled around after I was finished. So much for resting and relaxing for her. She's more active than ever. Which is a good thing and I'm excited she's doing well. I thought I'd plug the yoga disk I did a little since yoga in general has (since college) made me feel really strong and relaxed, and this one was awesome! For those of you who are newly pregnant, you gotta try this!! (Click the picture above for a link) OK, enough commercials for now.

It was amazing to watch my church ladies pull together and offer to help me while home alone today! My neighbor came over and gave me food so I didn't have to think about cooking while I am supposed to be resting. How awesome is that?! She even took my poor cooped up dog for a walk so she could get some exercise. Thanks Jan!

Bed Rest...at least for this week

Sunday, my body woke me up from a nap with sharp pains in my uterus. I thought it was just those round ligament pains they've been mentioning for awhile so I moved around and tried to get them to stop. After about 10 minutes they did. I had them again that night before I fell asleep, but just plunked my handy dandy ice pack (not so ice-y any more at that point) on my stomach and it seemed to help. Then yesterday morning, they returned. I waited until my Dr.'s office opened and then called.

The lovely nurse there, who is very kind, said they could be those round ligament pains, or they could be something else, so to be safe I should go to OB Triage. That morning I had ridden the bus to work, and mildly jogged for the second one so I wouldn't miss it, had not eaten anything but pretzels for breakfast and was in general having one of those days where I was not being the perfect pregnant girl (with veggies and calcium and fiber and etc.), but I still wasn't terribly worried.

I had to ask the women in my office to get me to the hospital and it was fun to watch them jump into action, put me in a chair and run for their car! ( I was getting a little worried at this point) I wasn't able to get The Geek on the phone as it was Monday and Monday is his work from home day which means a few minutes before he has to be at 'work' ie, his desk, he rolls out of bed, grabs a little food and plunks down in his chair. I was at the hospital by the time I got him and so had to pass the phone off to my supervisor, who came with us to show us where to go, so she could give him directions while I checked in.

He was there in record time and I was hooked up to a belt that monitored the activity of my uterus. There were regular little blips which they called 'twitches', but didn't seem to be too concerned about. Then they did an extended ultrasound (30 minutes or more) to check the baby out. She was great! She nearly flipped over during the exam! We actually had a wonderful discussion with our ultrasound tech about life, religion, babies, family, race. It was fun. Plus she let us look at our baby girl for a lot longer. There was one frame where her tiny foot was there with toes and all! So sweet. I declared it was The Geek's foot and he said I was crazy.

Then we told her about our theories concerning her chin. So she, of course, looked at the profile to help us determine who's chin she has. (It's a family thing. I have a very prominent chin that I got from my mother and so far, all the grand-babies have it.) I still say The Geek, but perhaps I am mistaken. She gave us a BEAUTIFUL image of her profile with her sweet lips and nose showing. But I digress...the verdict was, my cervix is shortening (which is bad, because that's what it does when I get ready to give birth) and I was having contractions (which I didn't even notice during the exam and are normal for a pregnant uterus. Practice, they call it. But not in conjunction with a shortening cervix ). It's not shortening a lot, but enough to make them worry.

So the result was, home to bed until I get in to see a fetal maternal doctor, which will be Thursday morning. I just found out that I have another ultrasound today at 1:15 pm. If you are so inclined and when you think about it, if you could offer up the following:
Prayers for my baby girl that she will stay put, grow and be healthy.
Prayers that my body will calm down and do what it's supposed to do.
Prayers for wisdom for my doctors.
Prayers of peace for The Geek who has to watch his girls struggle through this, but can't fix it for us.
Prayers for me that I finally slow down and learn to rest. (it's a hard lesson for me)

Things I think I would like...Part one

This would be my t-shirt. We are so nerdy cool! It's so fun to be the musician and the geek!

Things I think my sweet geek will like...Part 1

This was just too funny to pass up. Click the picture to take you to the shop where this is written on a t-shirt. (The geek is an 2XL kinda guy FYI - for comfort!) No, it's not a shot at my sweet hubs, just taking all the things he likes with a dash of giggles.

grumpy

No sleep, no feeling in arm. Do not want to be awake right now. Don't understand how people can live on no sleep. It is cool outside though. I think I'll like this little break of almost fall weather.

If I go on bedrest, you guys are in trouble!

For my 3rd post of the day...(sheesh)

Here's photographic proof of what is to come...

It looks smaller when photographed from above! (oh what do I care...it's only gonna grow from here!

Remember when things were simpler?

The Olympics used to be a thing I could watch and enjoy without having all of the ensuing political implications and knowledge behind it all.

Lego representation of the Water Cube in
Beijing, China (Pretty cool...eh? To see them all go here)

Now I watch it with images of protesters, foreign policies, censorship, and human rights violations galore!

Oh for the innocence and the grandeur of it all. I hope I can help my little bean hold on to that for awhile.

(Fireworks kick off the opening ceremony of the 26th Luoyang Peony fair in Luoyang, in central China's Henan province, as part the continuous celebrations to welcome the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. Photograph: AFP/Getty Images)


Olympic Stadium - Greece

Slowly disintegrating

I'm sitting at my desk with a pillow under my arm, an ice-pack on my shoulder, and my feet up on a sporty 'office ottoman'. It's only 9:30 am and already I've begun to eat my lunch which I should be holding off on, but can't help eating because I'm starved! I should have done a bigger breakfast this morning, but didn't have time in attempt to catch the bus. That didn't much seem to matter since I missed my connector express and had to ride the slow bus to work. Boo! Some days it doesn't pay to get up at 6am. My bursitis is flaring up again and I miss the good ole ibuprofen these days! It's funny the things that our parents did (Drink, smoke, take ibuprofen etc) and we turned out fine on but are such a HUGE no no these days. I'm not sure what it does to the baby, but just mention it and watch the health care professionals all fly into a tizzy!

So it's 'crank up the home remedies' time. Massage, salt soaks, ice-packs, whining until hubby rubs that particularly aching part. Hee hee :)

I went to a little soirée last night and saw another pregnant girl from church who is about 2 months ahead of me. She has gained 25 lbs, but it is all in the belly. She said she didn't know where she was going to put the next month and a half of weight gain! She said she has not had any problems or noticed any particular things gone squirrelly with her body. Of course she is younger, more fit, but actually when we discussed it more, she admitted to having some of the same symptoms I'm having (fatigue, lightheadedness, thirsty and hungry a lot, aches and pains here and there, etc)- minus the whole right arm feeling as if it's about to fall OFF part. It's nice to know I'm not alone. (just more whiny about it obviously) It was fun to discuss babies with her. She didn't know what she is having but she admitted that when she and her husband 'looked away' during that part of the ultrasound, she sorta peeked through her fingers. Not that this could tell us inexperienced observers a single thing! It took the tech typing 'GIRL' on the screen for me to believe her. All those squiggly black and white images could be ANYTHING!

In the mean time, I called in pregnant yesterday and spent the day icing my shoulder and napping. I felt much better after that, but have to do the same thing today if I want to continue to feel better. I wish I could call in pregnant every day!

Still a girl...we hope (little mama update)

The geek and I went in for a second ultrasound so they could capture images of things she was laying too funny to capture before. (heart outflow valve and technical stuff like that) At 23 weeks I've gained a whopping pound and a half from my beginning weight and since she weighs almost all of that, it can be safely assumed that I have lost weight during this pregnancy so far.

I was giving myself a top gain of 15 lbs, but the doc said if I keep it lower (more like 5), it will be much easier for me. I'm not gonna kill myself to maintain this, but eat right and swim. My blood pressure (which I had problems with and am medicated for, from before pregnancy) is great and is still in the 'low' phase (100/50 today). It could go up in the last trimester, but I am hoping that swimming several times per week will help this not happen.

After several nights of severe arm pain, I finally went in to see an orthopedic doc and he ordered a nerve study on me. I had already seen a neurologist and his verdict was..."You are pregnant." Thanks...I didn't know that yet. It could be that my arm was swollen from all the weed-eating I did the day before. The geek has put the kibosh on any further attempts at using large tools in the yard and actually tried to get the doc to say I should refrain from any yard work at all! (She didn't. She said take it easy, don't get overheated, drink lots of water and don't lift big stuff) I can understand his concerns as my little belly keeps expanding and he gets a daily (visual) reminder of what is to come.

So she continues to wiggle and squirm and was only slightly cooperative during her ultrasound today. I am learning what I want and don't want in a delivery but since I am classified as 'high risk,' I wonder how much of that will matter when it actually comes down to it. I don't want to get hustled off and induced and drugged!

Maybe dis is de reason

It's been like a deserted wasteland in terms of my pals blogging. I asked the geek about it. His reply? "It's too hot to blog."
Maybe so.

Mmmm. Boooooks. Above average or bookworm...you decide.

The story is that apparently the National Endowment for the Arts estimates that the average adult has only read six of these books. Here are the markup guidelines:

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Mark in red the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your blog

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 The complete works of Shakespeare (I've read a LOT, but not all!)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens (reading this right now...)
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie -
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

If I counted right that is 56 out of 100. I'm not sure if this makes me the biggest book nerd on the planet, or just very well educated in public school where I was MADE to read about half of those books. Yay for advanced classes! There are so many more that I could read and I guess I'd better get to them now while I have the time and the sleep to do it.

Speaking of lack of sleep. Another ultrasound today and she's more beautiful than ever. I'm convinced she has her papa's (that's the geek) nose which will suit her quite well. It's a cute nose really. We shopped for wall paint for her room this weekend and we are planning grass, sky and flowers. Plus lady bugs. You can't go wrong with lady bugs! (if something else turns up, we'll go with grass, sky and frogs!)

Alleged baby bump...

It's Friday!!!
I was a bit of a slacker and didn't go in to work at the beginning of the week, so the result is a Friday work day (but only part of one). For all of you who have to do this every single week, you have my sincerest sympathy. I have to get by some how, so here's how I'm coping as I prepare numerous, numerous documents to be scanned into electronic records....

Listening to:

and


Some thoughts...
Went to a birthday party last night and stayed past my pregnant girl bed time, but here's the thing: usually by 9pm I am toast, but I was so energized, I stayed up until at least 1:30 am and then got up at 5:30 when my body woke up and said "I'm DONE lying here!!" plus the cat came in for a pre-dawn ear scratch and snuggle. He's a little cowed from being chased ALL OVER THE house yesterday after I discovered he'd shredded our leather chair while I was gone that day. He had to go to the laundry room for time out. Today he gets his claws cut off again (we were trying to let him be au natural, but not with the furniture)! But I digress... The point was I had a reminder that I am an EXTROVERT! I get recharged by spending time with other humans and talking, even if it's just relatively mundane conversation! So with a full battery, I didn't need that much sleep. I'm sure I'll have a nap to make up for it later.

Another discovery is that I can feel the little bean on the outside of me and so would the geek if he would wait for it. She can tell when he's looking for her and gets still - she does it to me too! I am starting to finally 'look' pregnant as I approach 6 months, nevermind that she's still behind a nice wall of padding and it's only the padding that is pooching out right now - a wise woman once said "It pays to advertise" and if I am pregnant and I look it, that's fine with me, even if I know what is technically sticking out right now is not necessarily baby. It's still pretty dang cute as I am reminded every day when I hear..."Oh! You are starting to look 'Cute Pregnant,'" as opposed to "you might explode on me pregnant" or "I got the kid, but no signs of it except cankles and puffy cheeks right now pregnant."

I'm sure I'll get some pictures done soon. (Melanie?)

I meant 'As Is'

Just thinking of you today...

For better or worse
Even when the 'worse' is more than I can handle some days and I want to go back to the 'better'. Even when the world seems to plot against us and I want the easy path.

Richer or poorer
Even when the 'poorer' makes the 'worse' sometimes happen and I spend too much time daydreaming about the 'richer' days to come (or not to come)

Sickness or health
I shuffle (soon to waddle) back and forth between these and still you are here. I am grateful. I'll stick around for you too.

To love and to cherish
Cherish:
a: to hold dear : feel or show affection for
b: to keep or cultivate with care and affection
Cultivate:
1: to prepare or prepare and use for the raising of crops; also : to loosen or break up the soil about (growing plants)2 a: to foster the growth of b: culture 2a c: to improve by labor, care, or study : refine <cultivate the mind>
Cultivating requires pulling weeds sometimes. Weeds of doubt, fear, and resentment so the garden can bloom. I gotta work at this. I gotta give love a place to grow. I'll keep cultivating and loving and when I fail at it, I'll try again. I'm glad a new planting time comes every year.

Till Death...
You ain't gettin' rid of me and I ain't gettin' rid of you!! (even when I'm a pain in the tuckus or vice versa)

Ani DiFranco said it so succinctly...
When I said...when I said I'll take you, I meant...I meant As Is.

Time catching up

Time and all the things I've taken for granted are catching up with me in this pregnancy. Here's the list (not for pity, for information)

High Blood Pressure
Nerve Compression problems
Fibroids
High potential of Gestational Diabetes

With the exception of the first one, these are all things that have shown up in the last 5 months and all of them, without exception, can be traced back to one cause. Weight.

Now I've lived with a heavy body since the age of 8 and have thought that if people had a problem with it, they could get over it. I'm strong, active, and not too worried about it, or so I thought. The fibroids is what brought me reeling back to reality. They won't go away, there is no cure, and they are not reversible. I'm stuck with them and, later in life, they could cost me all my female parts, or interfere with future pregnancies. My doctor didn't seem to worried about them, but in combination with everything else I've listed, it seems to me that my body is raising a huge flag and saying, "Stop living this way!! We are falling apart here!"

Yet, as always, my habits don't match up with my goals. I do what is easy, rather than what is good for me. I either obsess or put on a blindfold and deny. One day it's carrots, bell peppers, hummus and water for lunch, the next day, a cookie. Changing means thinking ahead, doing what I don't want to do in the moment because my health and the health of my baby depend on me! I have 6 weeks until my OB does the test for diabetes (it doesn't show up until 24-28 weeks- I'm only 22 weeks) and my goal is to cut all processed sugar out of my diet by then and regulate my carb intake to make sure I am not overloading my system with sugar (either direct or indirect). It means grocery shopping differently, it means eating differently, it means paying attention when I want to veg out.

On a scale of 1-10 in terms of will power, I have about a whopping 2, at best, 0 when I'm having a baby moment, so support would be great!! This is a terrifying and yet humbling place for me. I know I don't have the strength to do it on my own, but know there is one place I can turn to. I just gotta keep going back there, every day, every time I want to choose the easy path. I know there is healing for the things I cannot change, but God gave me a brain and a will and even though he may have the power to make me a size 8 in a moment, He won't (at least I'm pretty sure he hasn't done it this way for anyone else). I gotta bring that brain and will to the table (literally) and do for myself what I am able and count on him for the rest.

Rick (not rolled) - a tribute to my youth

I'm very behind the times, but I today discovered the practice of Rickrolling someone (on youTube) but the ironic thing is, I used to LOVE Rick Astley, so when it came on, it was a lovely surprise! I just thought he was the dreamiest thing and had a great voice. I wore my cassette player out listening to him!!! Mock me if you will, but I always was a sucker for those baritone boys. Tenors are all showy and flashy, but give me a baritone any day! I did a little googleing and found out he's still around, singing, and making music but not like in the old days. He's 'thickened up' a bit since the days when he was this skinny red haired nerd, but still it's him. I listened to an audio clip of him being interviewed and was surprised to her him say that 1. He was 42 years old (EEEK! That makes me so very old!!) and 2. He had the thickest accent that sounded to me like a Liverpudlian. I never guessed that. After some more digging, I found I was right (actually a small town outside of it called Newton -Le-Willows.) That makes another favorite musician from that area of England. (I'm such a nerd and sucker for the Beatles)

OK, so this is just a little glimpse of how big a geek I was and I hope you've enjoyed it. Check out that red hair, crooked teeth and sweaty pompadore! Man he could sing! OK. I'm done. Cue the laughter. :) PS, gotta run. The bean just KICKED my bladder!! She'd better cut that out.

Dichotomy

Today I spent several hours cooking, cleaning, reading a book written in the 30's, scanning over the farm blog and getting twitter updates!

One one hand, the world of L.M. Montgomery seems so homey and lovely with life revolving around the family unit, the warmth of the kitchen stove, and nature. Then add to that the simple life of the farmers who, every Sunday, supply me with fresh fruit, veg, eggs, and meat from their hand tilled land. I long for the simplicity of it all, with perhaps not the added burden of having to make and wear those classic blue dresses. It just all seems so sweet. Yet, the romanticized version leaves out the tremendous amount of hard work that made my current state an often dangerous one for women at the turn of the century, (I can't speak for current Amish families giving birth to their babies).

And then there is my little world here in which I sit perched on my couch, blogging and getting updates from friends around the world via my cell phone. My handy vacuum cleaner in the closet, my new fangled car outside, and sweet, sweet air conditioning. (not that on a clean, rainy day like today I need it) I don't mind it. In fact I enjoy it.

But to pursue one life is to lose the benefits of the other and in this moment, I want the benefits of both. I want the simple natural life of living on a farm, without having to milk anything or pull weeds, but I would feel cut off from the world if I didn't know what the world was like outside my little fences. I want to have all my modern conveniences, but often I feel like my modern conveniences are making my life busy and filled up with stuff, noise, confusion, deadlines, and eye strain!

I have never been a good one for balance but I am hoping to learn it. Perhaps there is a way to both slow down and keep up. For today I can just revel in the moment, accepting where I am, the state of my body, mind, heart, and laundry and just be here. My little girl is wiggling and sqiggling all over the place inside me, my bigger and bigger cat is sleeping in a fuzzy spotted ball in the arm chair across the room, the dog is curled up in her cave (ie, her crate with a big old couch cushion and comforter in there), summer sounds of cicadas singing on the trees, the rain brought cool sweet air today and will bring even more fresh food from the farms, and every day, my hubs and I are finding sweet, quiet moments in which to grow deeper in love, friendship, and relationship. That's pretty good when you think about it and so, I am content.

Quite possibly the ugliest fashion brought to you by the most tasteless purveyor of clothing

Yes folks, this is, in fact, a dress. The not so recent wake of clothing purveyors who use sex to sell clothes has produced my least favorite, which I will not even name because you might in fact, cruise on over to their website and thereby unknowingly contribute to their empire built on pushing teen (or at least what is made to appear to be) 'soft porn' on the masses. I have noticed that since the viewer of said advertisements is often too accosted by exposed flesh or by distracting poses that would best be showcased around a pole in some seedy smoke-filled back room, they often fail to pick up on the fact that these clothes are, in fact, a hideous collection of uncomfortable crap, usually colored in shades more often found in my old 80's wonder palette of eyeshadow than on humans. But they go to far with this. It is equal parts hideous and comical and I dare say I would have a hard time not bursting out laughing if I saw them on a human girl out and about town. Aptly named 'figure skater', but I have to say the last time a figure skater wore this ugly an outfit had to be at least...what...1972? To make the best outfit ever, you must pair it with their other offering...Because no outfit is complete unless every single inch of you shines like the top of the Chrysler building. Seriously.

Lucky me

This has long been my favorite medium for griping to the world or taking a small stand against the injustice of the world, even if only my friends read it, but I have been thinking how I hardly mention the good things. I do that with almost every element of my life. It's like the splinter in my finger that I can't help picking at, even though the rest of me feels fine. So here's a list of things I am grateful for today. It is by no means comprehensive!

1. A wonderful husband. Hands down the best man in the world for me who loves me through my baby induced mental breakdowns, works hard at a job he hates, takes care of his family, is smart, funny and loving, and for whom I'd stick around while he built a rocket.
2. A wonderful baby. I still hesitate to call the baby 'she' but since the ultrasound said it's pretty likely, I'd better get used to it. She wiggled all night and I am so glad to finally feel her squiggling around in there. It was a bit disconcerting for half a moment and then I realize what it was!
3. A house to keep me warm, dry, and safe.
4. Friends (like you) who listen when I talk and who share my life with me making the burdens a little lighter and the joys even sweeter, even when I forget I have friends and go have a good baby induced cry on my bed because 'I have no friends.' It's pitiful really. I need a list by the fridge of people I can call when I forget I am loved.
5. A job. Not that it's the most exciting thing on the planet, but it pays the bills and the people are wonderful to work with
6. My health - I can still walk, talk, breathe, sing, swim and though I have little things (like the 'splinter') that irritate me, I am healthy and I am grateful for that.
7. Music. I got to sing this weekend at a conference with some friends and loved it. There's something about being on stage. Perhaps that's the showoff in me, but I am grateful none the less.
8. Sunshine. I love sunshine. I miss it when it's gone. Seriously. I get crabby.
9. Family - they make me insane, but I wouldn't trade them for anything! As I learn to let go, I enjoy them more. So they aren't the Cleavers, but they are pretty cool.
10. Sleep. I am about to miss this like crazy in a few more months so for now, I am grateful for 6-8 hours
11. Peaches - the CSA (community supported Agriculture) brought us sweet peaches this week and I have to say, I never really liked peaches before I tasted them fresh from the farm and not fresh from the refrigerated truck where they've been for a week or 2!
12. Freckles - my sweet pup who has been with me forever and still loves me when I am too tired and/or lazy to take her for walks. (she doesn't rank 12th in my heart, it's just how it came out. I like her more than peaches...well...sometimes)
13. Naartjie (pronounced Narchie)
my bug who runs like a champ in spite of being older than me!
14. the steps...all 12 of them, and the people who help me climb them, one at a time.
15. Jesus. Nuf said, since there aren't words for me to say how grateful I am.
16. Gizmo who provides us with unending entertainment and missing fridge magnets.
17. Swimming pools
18. Ears to hear with
19. Eyes to see with
20. Hands to hold with
21. A mind to learn with
22. That I don't always have to be right. A wise person once asked me if I'd rather be right or happy. I'd rather be happy and let everyone else try to be right. Being right never makes me feel good. Just like a know-it-all, or resentful when everyone else doesn't see how very right I am.
23. My guitar who's case is currently in need of a fresh application of duct tape (200 mile per hour tape) to keep it together, but still sounds as sweet as the day I paid way too much for it seeing as I was a beginner!
24. The interwebs! at least the good parts
25. Moleskin journals that smell new, to write in with archival pens so my journals won't be erased by time and random water leaks
26. For endings to things so I can look forward to the beginning of something new.

See dis? I feel dis.

Imagine if this (dats a grapefruit people) had been implanted inside your abdomen and every time you rolled over in bed, you felt it. Now try to get some sleep. Sheeyeah. Right.

Back at work. Made a new door sign!

It's so hard to come back after nearly a month off! I'll regale you with stories later, but for now, I wanted to show off my new office sign.