Wimpathon...2008

I am steadily becoming the wimpiest version of myself. I've always been the 'Can-do' girl. I've moved furniture, done construction, hiked, biked, canoed, swam, cooked, cleaned, plumbed, invented, and watched other people's kids while doing all of that!

Now I am finding at a mere 16 weeks along, I am a weenie. I kind of ignored that rule about not lifting more than 20 lbs while pregnant, a lot, and it's finally catching up with me. There's a reason they tell you not to, but I am a know it all and figured, "I'm tough, I can do this occasionally." Like carrying an 85 lb canoe with one other person this past weekend. The result...painful cramps where there should NOT be cramps, just a baby, having to go to bed while we had company over and letting the guests and the geek shift for themselves on Father's Day, trouble sleeping, swollen fingers, feet and knees (I'm sure other places, but these where the ones I noticed) and lots of other little worrisome pains here and there internally. The trouble with me is, I used to be able to work like a horse and when I was done, sleep and feel refreshed. Any aches and pains were canceled out with a few handy ibuprofen. Now, I find my self wiped out before I even begin to do anything! Then if I press on, I'm over-doing it. I can't seem to find this balance!

The geek is not used to the changes either. He's always counted on me as a strong partner in any undertaking and now he's getting the brunt of the heavy lifting, so to speak. It's a bit of a strain on him though he takes it with more grace than I'd be able to muster. His first Father's Day and I'm in the bed! It sucked, but he was kind and caring and I am grateful. I never understood how people could get divorced while the wife was pregnant, but now I'm beginning to understand. Without grace, understanding and a willingness to put up with my (closely spaced) bouts of insanity and emotional breakdowns on the part of my sweet geek, we'd be through! I'm hard to live with. I can see that very clearly. I hope to find a more balanced place and learn to let go and trust.

We had an great example of that on the river the other day. I was tired before we even put the canoe in the water and due to some previous mishaps on that river with another friend, not trusting of the Geek's ability to steer us through the rougher parts to safety. Any of you who have paddled down a river will know that you can't steer from the front of the boat, but I was trying! Or at least trying to boss the Geek at the rudder. He finally pulled over and we had a mini 'discussion' about who was in charge of the boat and would I let him be the biggest and the strongest and trust him? It ended amicably and I realized I was not even upset about how we were going down the river, I was fearful about being out of control, worried that I was already too tired to be able to go down the river, and upset that I'd had to hike back to the car to get the forgotten life jackets and paddles. When I said all that and admitted where I was weak, it was easy to let him be the boss of the boat. I ended up having a great time and letting my nephew paddle in the front while I relaxed in the middle like the queen on Sheba on the Nile! It was great to see what a great man that the geek could be when I get out of the way, and let him wear the pants (or steer the boat). The geek always has this joke that he wears the pants, I just tell him which ones. Like the woman in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" who says "The man is the Head (of the family), but the woman is the neck and she turns the man whichever way she wants" If I'm the neck, then who is my husband following? Not God. And I don't think I'm a reliable source to follow. So in my wimpiness, I'm asking God to teach me to let go and let my hubby follow the One who has a WAY better plan.

Sweet, Sweet interwebs!

Oh how I've missed thee, interwebs. My nephew (a small clone of my big brother) is visiting for the next week (a total of 2 weeks) and we've been running around doing things fun for an 11 year old. The list so far:

Friday - his first plane trip ever! He loved it.
Saturday - worked at the ice-cream shop - the wee clone was my sample man and raked in the tips! (all of which I handed over to him)
Sunday - Sounds game - spent a zillion dollars on crappy hot dogs and icees, but it was fun and HOT. Sadly I got a little ill and we had to leave in the 5th inning. I have lost the ability to regulate my internal temperature lately and can't take the heat. It never used to bother me!
Monday - rode bikes to the Y and swam for several hours and then rode home. (with plenty of water breaks)
Tuesday - picked up the bug (all fixed!! Horray!) from the shop - by way of a 40 minute walk and a bus ride. After I shorted out the dash we nipped down to Autohaus to pick the brain of my friend BMWnerd who is a whiz with car electronics. Turns out I needed just a fuse!
Wednesday - went to the lake with Freckles!
Thursday - went dumpster diving for cardboard boxes and built a giant fot in the the wee clone's room!
Friday - lumped around and had a Harry Potter movie marathon. My friend Steph from way back came up to visit and spend the night.
Saturday - canoing in the Harpeth (yes, again - we like it)

New pregnancy symptom - check out the posting time for this blog. I wake up SO hungry and unable to sleep in the middle of the night. Hate it! I know I'll be so tired later (like when we are on the river) and there will be no chance for a nap! Sheesh. Wish I could sleep, but once I'm awake, I'm hot, figitey and the geek's snoring (albeit more gently than ever in the history of our marriage) keeps me awake and thinking about random stuff like home repairs. I'm sure I'll hear from all the experienced mom's "you just wait, it gets worse." Why tell me stuff like this? I don't like to be prepared for the worst! Let my cup stay half full and quit trying to drink it!

By the way, for those who are keeping up: I'm 15 weeks and the bean is about this size:

News you can Yews

This is a yew branch and has nothing to do with this post.

Summer is heating up and I am so glad to have a little time with no 'work', none that I get paid for anyway. My nephew is coming up to visit for 2 weeks (he's 11 years old) and then we both go to Texas to go to the same camp that I've been attending since the age of 6. We have lots of adventures planned for our time together, including another brave attempt at the Harpeth. I might bring someone bigger and stronger than me this time, if he agrees to it.

Working at the Creamery has been an adventure. Oddly enough I am not overwhelmed by cravings of ice-cream. The trick is to be lactose intolerant and to know the impending intestinal havoc that will follow if I give in. That being said, I'm a huge fan of the Trailer Trash 2.0. Trailer Trash is the owner's handmade vanilla ice-cream with every added chocolate candy bar you can think of. Trailer Trash 2.0 is that, but in her amazing Chocolate ice-cream. I gave in a little bit. Not overboard. Still paid for it in the end (pun intended tee hee!)

I am officially in my 2nd trimester and so far am just as tired as I was before. So much for that wave of energy I was supposed to get. I wonder it it has anything to do with working 2 jobs and swimming 3 days a week....nah. The first signs are there. I wore a skirt, that had been quite comfortable about a month ago, to work last week and ended up having to unbutton, unzip and pull my shirt down far so no one could tell. I just tucked in the flapping button ends and went on! I have still not learned totally that this is not a time to pretend like I am my old self. There is some pressure to continue with my old way of operating, but when I do act like I have all the energy and strength in the world, it catches up with me and I'm in the bed with a headache for the whole next day. I'm a smidge hard headed. What can I say.

The best news is that we are using our economic incentive to fix the bug, so the geek can have his own car (and space) back and I'll be cruisin' in my sweet tangerine super beetle! Just in time for escalating gas prices! Wow, ain't we lucky.

Thats all for now folks.

Police Mopeds - exception to the rule!

I spotted this on my way to work and had to pull over, stand in the street during morning rush hour and take a picture. It looked like some nerd version of a biker gang, but then I realized they were Police mopeds AND they were parked illegally. (See the 'no parking to corner' sign that they are ALL on the wrong side of?) Hilarious!

Near drownings on the Harpeth!

OK. So the title was for shock value. I went canoing on the Harpeth River this last week with my friend and her 4 kids (age 10-4) and we had a few tip overs, but all it all it was fun and no one drowned. The geek and I planed to go again on Monday, but we woke up to storms. Boo. Happy Memorial Day all! I am thinking of my little brother who is still in Marine training out in California. He's bound to be shipped off soon and I hope I don't have to remember him on Memorial Day, just Veterans day.

electric skin

Everything is irritating me today, even the clothes I have on! I suppose this is just another one of those mysterious side effects of being pregnant, but I do not like it! It makes everything green (this is the color I've always associated with prickly feelings on my skin - like when I'd wake up in the night with a dead hand from sleeping on it.)

I am wiggly

i am: wiggly
i think: like I am in a fog – thanks little one!
i know: I am loved, but don’t always remember. (kinda like times tables)
i want: to go get in the pool
i have: work to do, but don’t remember to do
i wish: i had no more debt and didn’t have to worry about bills.
i hate: the smell of humanity, the unwashed version.
i miss: being able to work harder
i fear: being left alone forever
i feel: physically refreshed, but mentally tired. I also feel content and happy
i hear: the white noise of the office AC unit
i smell: cubicles
i crave: sunshine
i search: for my water bottles, I have three and still they elude me
i wonder: what my baby’s face will look like
i regret: not being a better friend over the years
i love: so much it hurts sometimes
i ache: because my blood pressure is a little elevated today
i care: about my neighborhood
i always: loud
i am not: shy anymore
i believe: that Jesus is the best thing that happened to this world
i dance: to Sixpence when I wash dishes and to Jazzy favorites with children
i sing: without knowing I am
i don't always: pick my clothes up off the bathroom floor
i fight: to protect the helpless and innocent and for the ones I love
i write: because I cannot help but write. It comes out on whatever is handy
i win: radio station drawings for uncool prizes and become ineligible for the cool ones 2 days later!
i lose: my keys
i never: have returned to my birth country
i confuse: others around me, at work apparently.
i listen: to the sound of summer
i can usually be found: never in the same place for longer than a few hours
i am scared: sharks, for no good reason. I wish I could stop being scared.
i need: time, affection and attention (not the bad kind)
i am happy about: the bean being as big as a fig and the geek coming back from ‘Man Camp’ excited!

you?

First Mother's Day!

Sunday morning I woke to a sweet 'Happy Mother's Day' from the geek, who then rolled out of bed to make me bacon and eggs - except we were out of bacon AND eggs. So cereal...out of milk. This whole making breakfast for me for Mother's day was starting to look grim, but then, I remembered the $20 in tips I got from the ice-cream shop the night before! We quickly dressed and headed to Noshville (our favorite Sunday morning restaurant) for ham and eggs and griddle cakes! We didn't get to sit at the bar with Linda (our favorite waitress) but it was good all the same and we enjoyed the food immensely (until I ate the silver dollar potato latkes, which were fried, but I've never had trouble with them before - guess babe doesn't like grease in the tummy)plus I got a little corsage to wear! Happy Mom's day to all you moms and moms to be!

Ummm...I gotta go practice.

Yuto Miyazawa - 8-Year Old Japanese Guitar Phenom! from Metal Edge TV on Vimeo.

Remembering the light - Dawn at Miami Beach

It’s dawn on Miami Beach. The sun is rising without much pomp or circumstance, much as it does every day around here. The sand, still littered with last night’s seaweed from high tide and last night’s trash from high life, stands nearly empty of people, cool under my feet in the gray light.

There is an older woman, stocky and large of bosom, dressed in what must only be called a bathing ‘costume’, for she wears what appears to be a shapeless green and blue dress, thick black stockings, and a turban. Her movements are awkward in the shifting sand close to the constant rhythm of the waves. She sits down at the water’s edge and is surprised by a larger wave, a herald of the high tide that is coming.

Aside from the seagulls, there is one other person, a young guy, dressed in a black tank top with close cropped hair, who keeps, like me, taking snapshots of the horizon and gazing back at the boardwalk as if waiting for someone.

The night still hides in the hollows of all of yesterday’s footprints, purple and fighting the dawn, while the crests of the hollows become tinged with orange. The sky is painted the same color, as the sun plays coy for a few moments. At the horizon the clouds make cities with peak and towers against a blood red sky. In a moment, the blaze of the sun peeks over the edge and in a moment more, it sends its light in a fiery band across the waves to me, here with crossed legs and squinted eyes, trying to capture the beauty of something so mundane, but so exquisite.

How many sunrises must the world have seen by now, yet each one seems miraculous in and of itself, as if, in our hearts, we forget what the day is in the dark hours. But soon the dark will have nowhere to hide, not even in the hollows of footprints, as the sun makes it’s daily sojourn to the top of the dome of heaven.

Way to deal with the BIG issues...

This was my letter to the editor of the Nashville Scene:

"In the face of city-wide hearings to possibly cut multiple bus routes and limit AccessRide (disability services with MTA ), and with MTA facing a budget shortfall of over 2 million dollars due to the price of fuel, I pick up a copy of the scene to fine the riveting headline story of...a Burger Contest?

Come ON! How is this news? Maybe the Scene got big advertising bucks for this story, or some food critic got to eat burgers at a ton of cushy joints, but with gas prices rising this summer and the city in DESPERATE need of a greener and cheaper alternative to everyone driving individual cars, one would think that the Scene, usually the champion of the these 'big bad city plans to screw the little guy' type of articles, would pick up on this. No, it’s not the typical Scene reader that will be affected by these cuts, but it should be. What better way to encourage all of those environmentally concerned, carbon footprint reducing readers to help both the city’s growing smog and transportation issues than to make an appeal to the readers to show up at those hearings, make their opinion know, perhaps get ON the bus themselves and see what they can do for their city.

If that’s of no concern to you, how about the City council’s plans to close the only public pool in the Cleveland Park neighborhood that sits between Dickerson and Ellington Pkwy? Plus the removal of the ONE bus route that could actually bus the children of the neighborhood to the closest pool (East Park), the # 30 line, which is on the docket to be cut. Hmm. These issues seem way more important than whose burger tastes the best and which of your employees got to clog their arteries by feasting on ground beef. How about paying a little attention and not sitting silently by while the city’s children, disabled and people of lower socioeconomic status get the shaft?"

OOOOooo. It burns me up sometimes! If you have an opinion, please attend these public hearings:

*NOTICE OF PUBLIC HEARING*

The Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA) will be holding four Public
Hearings on the following issues:

* Fare adjustment for MTA regular and AccessRide services. The
Metropolitan Transit Authority is currently considering five possible
scenarios for fare adjustment ranging from a 5 cent to 25 cent increase to
the base fare as well as associated increases in other fare media and
passes.

*Possible removal or reduction of some or all of the following routes:

· Route 13 – Sylvan Park

· Route 31X – Harpeth Valley Express

· Route 1 – Vine Hill

· Route 45X – Oak Hill Express

· Route 16 – Madison – Old Hickory

· Route 30 – McFerrin

· Route 37X – Tusculum Express

· Route 8 – 8th Ave. South

· Route 41X – Golden Valley

· Route 18 – Airport Express – Elm Hill Pike

· Route 2 - Belmont

* Possible reductions in service on all MTA routes, including the
elimination of night service, Saturday, Sunday, and Holiday service, as well
as the Night Owl service.

* Possible reduction of the ADA AccessRide service to areas within 1.5
miles of regular service routes.

The public hearings will occur at:

6:00 PM, Monday, May 5th, 2008 at the Rochelle Center – Building-A
Conference Room, located at 1020 Southside Ct.

12:00 (noon), Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 at the Downtown Library,
Conference Center, located at 615 Church Street.

5:30 PM, Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 at the Downtown Library, Conference
Center, located at 615 Church Street.

6:00 PM, Thursday, May 8th, 2008 at the Madison Branch Library,
located at 610 Gallatin Pike.

* *

Additional meetings may be held and will be announced at a later date.

* *

Please note that attendance at these meetings is not required for comment.
You may also mail your comments to MTA Planning Department, attn: Public
Hearing Comments, 130 Nestor St., Nashville, TN 37210, or fax your comments
to 862-6208, or email them to mta.publichearings@nashville.gov. Comments
will be received until May 14th, 2008.

For ADA accessibility information contact:
ADA Coordinator
130 Nestor Street
Nashville, TN 37210
(615) 862-5950

Family, with all the fixin's

Growing up I heard about families that had lost touch with each other, that didn't talk anymore, or had huge rifts that could not be overcome and I listened in wonder and in my innocence, thought 'my family will never be like that.' Oh how I was wrong. As I get older (and I'm not so old) things just get more and more convoluted. Brothers and sisters go out into the world and depart from the vein of living they learned at the family home. Some stay on that path, but others for whatever reason, follow a different path. Yet we are all still connected by an invisible thread of blood-bond that cannot be broken and the actions of one, for the good or bad, effect the family unit. Not that we all go down with the ship if one decides to destroy himself/herself, but that tug on our hearts is there, no matter how we try to sever it.

Today I am sad about that kind of situation in my family. I have given up my old ways of trying to mend all the fences and now I strive to just let go and let someone bigger take it from my hands, but that thread tugs at my heart and it hurts, more than I want it to. It's a relief that it's not my job to make sure all the people in my family turn out safe, happy, and whole, but I can't help the sorrow I feel as I watch them go through the hard parts. It reminds me, even more, to cherish the relationships that I have, to love well, to be honest, own my part, ask for forgiveness when I am wrong, and in the end, to let go of the result.

Musician's Life tip #1005 - Not for GUYS!

Wisdom often comes from experience, so let me share a little life tip with y'all.

It is generally a bad plan to wear a lace bra under a t-shirt. Although the desired effect may be to look good in your clothes and to know you are wearing something pretty for either yourself or the hubby, it generally ends up looking as if you have stored 2 large balls of cottage cheese under your shirt, rather than boobs.
Not a good look.

Brave New World

My Papa (Dad) has a facebook page! What?!

What dog-moms have know all along.

Found this on the discovery channel website tonight. A universal 'duh' was heard by all dog owners.


"April 22, 2008 -- The emotion conveyed by a dog's bark often seems obvious to its human companions, but new research shows just how clear the message can be -- at least, to other dogs..."

Spring flowers bring...less time blogging

Have you noticed how B-E-A-utiful it is outside? If not, close this browser page RIGHT NOW and run out of doors. I don't care if you are in a 100 story office building, people!! GO OUTSIDE!

I just thought someone was stomping around!

I woke up at about 4:44 last night and the room was shaking. I thought it was the Geek, stomping around downstairs and a sign that our house did really have some structural issues. Nope. It was an earthquake. In Nashville. I didn't know that could happen!

According to this little blurb in the Tennessean, here's the skinny"

"9:40 a.m.

State transportation officials are checking bridges across Tennessee for possible damage from the 5.4-magnitude earthquake that shook the area overnight.

The Tennessee Department of Transportation has crews out in West Tennessee doing visual inspections, in particular focusing on crossings over the Mississippi and Tennessee rivers, says Julie Oaks, spokeswoman for the state highways agency.

In Middle Tennessee, crews are making visual checks in the northern counties as far east as Cumberland County.

Oaks said the department doesn't expect to find any damage. "But as a precaution, we are checking."

- JENNY UPCHURCH"

Other links here and here

UPDATE! - as I was posting this @ 10:16 am, I felt another little tiny aftershock. Weird!!

Just to make you laugh

see more crazy cat pics

Slow down...you'll get there quicker, or at least you'll get there

Yesterday we did the double birthday bash for friends. The first was a trip to the Sounds game, Nashville's own minor league team, for a neighborhood friend's big 3-0. We got minorly trounced at 4-1, the 1 coming at the end, when we sort of rolled our eyes at how the bases could have been loaded and caught us up! Sheesh. It was over the fence! The geek and I consumed green hamburgers, jumbo dogs and nachos so salty they made my mouth dry up! It was very fun. The camaraderie was the best part of all!

Then it was on the the next party, which was a bash for our pastor at the Rutledge. Live music, hot wings, cheese, fruit and two giant cakes with golf balls (made of icing) on them. We enjoyed music by Trigger Code and more - MC'd by Mojo, formerly of the O.C. Supertones.

While we had a great time and got to wish fabulous people a happy birthday, I found that in the second party, a rock show and outrageous birthday blowout by all accounts, I missed the intimacy and connection that I have so come to crave. I notice that craving is stretching to other parts of my life. It's easy to post here and know that you all will read it, and I don't have to make phone calls to tell you news or cool story to make you laugh, but while it's a great method of getting the news out, it's a sterile method of friendship. I haven't gone over my minutes in months! That never used to happen. We used to have to put a ban on talking or only talk at night in order to keep our phone bill out of the crazy range!

The geek and I, in passing, talked about maybe turning off the internet for awhile and getting still. It might not happen, but still, it's a reminder to me of what I value. And this blog, emails, Reuter's news, and silly cat captions don't come anywhere near the top of that list. You might hear more from me in the weeks to come as I practice being intentional with people. It's a skill I don't always come easily by. It's much more efficient to post, have a laugh, make a run by appearance at parties and then save my energy for writing or working, but it doesn't make a very good life. I am so grateful for all of you.

Sweet Hearbeat

I never thought I'd be so excited to see a blurry image of a little bean, but I was. After a weekend of worry and things that had us wondering if this was the end of the pregnancy, the geek and I went in for my first ultrasound. I'll spare you the details of gowns and wands, but when I saw that little tiny baby, with it's heartbeat winking fast,a little head with a little eye. Wow. I am overjoyed that it's still there!!! To the average observer, this is not a picture of much, but to me, and to it's Papa, it's beautiful! We are beside ourselves! The geek is taking photos to work! (not of the procedure. Ick.) He said this was the first time he really connected with the idea in actuality. I couldn't decide which was more fun to watch, the screen where our little baby was making it's first appearance, or the Geek, who was grinning like a kid! So here's it's (we don't want to say he/she until we know) world debut!

The Bean
Closeup!