Dis one's for you Babe.

I have to brag on my sweet hubby for a moment. Today he:
1. Rubbed my back at 4 in the morning when I woke up all hurting
2. Snuggled me in the morning sunshine
3. laughed at my silliness
4. took me swimming (floating) even though it's his least favorite thing
5. saved the last bottled water for me and brought me several throughout the day
6. helped me up and down from the laz-y-boy of death (it sucks me in!)
7. went on a Fat Mo's run to bring me red meat for my protein cravings
8. gave me kisses when I needed a kiss
9. brought me an ice pack in the middle of the night
10. never once got annoyed with me being needy
11. said he thought I was beautiful in all my roundness and MEANT it!

For the million little ways you show me how much you love me every day...thank you! You are the best manservant(hee hee)/husband a girl could ask for.

whining and complaining

I gotta get it out somewhere. The carpal tunnel in both hands has stepped up. In the right hand it is excruciating. I wake up in the night crying it hurts so bad. The Geek kindly rubs my arm and hand for me, somehow without fully waking up! I can't hold a pencil for longer than about a sentence, but I am still able to type a bit here and a bit there. I really miss journaling. I was keeping a journal for our little girl and lately I have not been able to write to her the things I want to tell her. It makes me sad.

I have enjoyed this stage of pregnancy though. I am showing enough that for the first time a friend walked straight up to me and put her hands on my belly remarking that I really 'look pregnant'. Since I grew up with not a lot of personal space and am a pretty touchy-feely kind of girl, I don't mind it from friends. Strangers I might have a problem with unless they were a sweet old lady or something. As I hauled my belly from one side to the other (rolling over in my former life) I lamented to the Geek this morning while we snuggled that it was simply not fair that Giant pandas could birth something that, in proportion, would be the equivalent of me having a kitten. I could handle a kitten! Even if I had to live life with a pouch, it would be a good trade off, to which the Geek gave a horrified look at the thought of his little wife with a marsupial pouch.

I also gave my notice this past week at work. I am going to make it through the end of September (week 30) and then will be an official Stay-at-home mom. I have a feeling the 'mom' part of that will be exceedingly easy until she decides to be an external child and until early December I'll just be 'staying at home.'

I have found some relief for my arm pain and that has been to go 'floating.' I can't really do laps this week until my shoulders get better (ice packs 4 times a day), so I just float around in my little skirted maternity swim suit. Weightlessness is highly underrated.

-----------------laugh break------------------
...The Geek is WOWing this morning while we sit here in the Sunday morning quiet, me in the laz-y-boy blogging and him at his desk in our shared office and some random scent has drifted through the room. I listed off the things it could be and he replied..."wow. I got the first two scents, but the rest are in the 'sub-nasular' range." hee hee!
------------------end laugh break------------------

Don't die Honey, but if you do (later...much later!) I'll turn you into a diamond

The Geek long ago made it known that he wanted to be cremated a long time from now when he dies. I thought this weird, since who will be in the grave spot next to me if he's in an urn, but in an effort to respect his wishes, I've been trying to accept this. Then today on a news site, I spied this article. It turns out that there is a company that will take your beloveds ashes and turn them into a diamond (created in a lab of course).

While this may seem morbid, I would much rather have my hubby as a sparkling reminder close to my heart than as a dust collector on the fireplace mantle.

For the not so dead, there is also the option to take some of your hair and have one made. Think about it. I have 6 siblings and if we each gave some hair to make a stone for our Mama, how COOL would that be?! Just a thought.

Gabe Dixon Band - so much good music, so little allowance left!

The second album to make my 'must haves' this week! Whoa! The Gabe Dixon band led by the amazing Gabe Dixon will rock your face off. The next Stevie Wonder and THAT is saying something.
Read about this new album here.
Check out the songs here.
Join me here on September 12th to watch him rock out if you live in Nashvegas. He and the band put on a great show! Plus the Belcourt is just a happenin' little old movie theatre.
Watch this video to hear a bit of one of the most talented songwriters in the city right now.

Quote of the day! Hee hee

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

Mitch Hedberg, Mitch All Together

New Google Security? Huh.

I was searching for something this morning and got this message:

"

Google

Error

We're sorry...

... but your query looks similar to automated requests from a computer virus or spyware application. To protect our users, we can't process your request right now.

We'll restore your access as quickly as possible, so try again soon. In the meantime, if you suspect that your computer or network has been infected, you might want to run a virus checker or spyware remover to make sure that your systems are free of viruses and other spurious software.

If you're continually receiving this error, you may be able to resolve the problem by deleting your Google cookie and revisiting Google. For browser-specific instructions, please consult your browser's online support center.

If your entire network is affected, more information is available in the Google Web Search Help Center.

We apologize for the inconvenience, and hope we'll see you again on Google.

To continue searching, please type the characters you see below:

capsha here

So Google thinks I'm spyware!! Weird.

Too much for my hands

While I think there are lots that are too big for my hands, I had not yet put housework on that list. Now I must. Just like the horrendous weedeating episode that had me laid up and struggling with a numb arm for days, apparently doing dishes and vacuuming does the same thing. So, since I can't hold a pencil to journal, I type. With the pillow under my arm and the mouse at my left hand! Sausage fingers are not a good look for me.

Happy Blogging to you

There should be a song. Seriously. It is Raven's 100th post today and since I am a fan of searching, I'm game to blog for them. Check it out!

Great Quote...wish I coulda learned.

"You don't want to be in love, you want to be in love in a movie." Becky - played by Rosie O'Donnell in Sleepless in Seattle.

Sigh. I wish I could give that lesson to my unmarried friends. But then, I don't think I was capable of learning that lesson when I was single. Oh why do we always think WE will be different, WE will do it better than it has ever been done before? I was watching the aforementioned movie and at the end when they just hold hands and it's like 'magic,' I found myself thinking..."what crap!"

When my sweet geek first told me he loved me, I'm sure I got this wide eyed look on my face and my blazingly fabulous response..."Do I have to say it back?" I mean, I liked the guy and all, but it had been 2 weeks! I wasn't ready for the 'L word.' I fell for him soon enough, but at that moment, I didn't 'just know.' Now, 4 years later...love is something you give, not something you have. Love is something you do, not fall into. It's actually a lot more sane! I don't have to rely on the feeling first to do the action. I do the action of love and the feeling follows. Amazing how that works.

I had a friend who was dating a guy who called and said he'd be late for their dinner date and just like that, she decided he wasn't interested enough to be on time so he couldn't care about her that much. It meant he wasn't the guy for her. I didn't say it at the time because she didn't ask me what I thought and I am attempting to make it a habit to not give unasked for advice, or feedback, but it seemed a little...oh what's the word...demanding?

OK, that's harsh and I hope if she happens to read this, she doesn't get her feelings hurt (or if she does, she'll call me and tell me), and in all honesty he may not be the guy for her, but seriously. If I based my relationship with The Geek on standards like that we wouldn't have made it past a month of dating! People screw up, people hurt you, people choose the wrong thing! If they keep doing it, regardless of how you feel, then evaluate and perhaps give them the boot, but to not give someone a chance to treat you how you'd like to be treated and expect them to read your mind? It's more like love in a movie than love in real life. I wish I could go back to myself in the past and give me this advice. It would have saved me a lot of heartache. Don't believe the chick flicks ladies!! IT'S NOT REAL!!

Before I dishearten all you single gals out there, let me say this: Love is great! It has beautiful shining moments (like last night when I had a CD on and a great song started and I asked my Geek if we had a song and he looked at me and said 'this one' and danced with me in the dining room).

But chick flicks don't show you what happens when you share a bathroom with someone who stinks it up for the first 20 minutes of the morning! Chick flicks don't show you what happens when your sweetie chooses his friends/hobbies/work/TV over spending every waking moment fawning over you. They don't show what happens when neither of you wants to do the dishes and it's not your turn.

They don't show you how love works after the hormone cocktail that accompanies 'falling in love' ie Dopamine, Adrenaline, and Serotonin followed by Oxytocin (which oddly enough also enduces labor) wears off and you are attached to this guy forever in spite of the fact that he leaves his clothes and stinky socks on your bedroom floor (not that you and I both don't do that, honey)! Don't wait for 'love in a movie' to happen to you. It never will. You'll just end up bitter that your romantic/sex life has no resemblance to what you have been watching on a silver screen all this time. (Don't even get me STARTED on how sex in real life is nothing like the movies...sheesh)

Iron Man in the real world!

My How Gymnastics have Changed...erm

Take note...

First mass U.S. crossing for hydrogen cars completed
Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:16pm By Bernie Woodall

"LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Hydrogen fuel cell cars from nine automakers completed a 13-day cross-country trip this weekend, in the first such mass U.S. crossing for vehicles powered by a zero-emission technology still in its infancy."

How cool is that!

Olympics end...and I have some thoughts on it.

Olympics close with a bang Photo from Reuters here

There was plenty in the news with the Olympics these past few weeks. From alleged underage gymnasts from China, to the Cuban who kicked the ref in the face when he was disqualified from his Tae Kwan Do match. From record Gold winnings by USA swimmer Michael Phelps to little old ladies sentenced to a year of re-education through labor for applying to many times for a permit to allow them to protest their homes being requisitioned for the building of the Olympics complex. So much for those designated 'protest parks' that...hmmm....China permitted no protests to occur in (denied every application for protest)!! Imagine that.

China may have pulled off a heck of an organized and beautiful Games, but at what cost? Grownups having to wear adult diapers during 'dance practice' for the opening ceremonies because they weren't allowed to take breaks? People placed under house arrest before the openings to prevent them making a stir and promote an illusion of harmony? Bloggers arrested for writing about protests? Factories shut down before the games begin to give the air a chance to clear with no recourse or pay for their workers?

Communism may crank out amazing athletes (I'd be awesome at some sport I was taken away from my parents and made to practice since the age of 3), but I'd rather have the basic human rights that our muddled up country can give us, rather than be censored for my opinions and muscled around for the sake of appearing perfect. Yay freedom!

Matthew Perryman Jones - Swallow the Sea ie. Matthew Rocks again!

Matthew Perryman Jones, one of the first people I met in the music industry when I moved to Nashville, has come out with his 3rd full length album.

After a year in Nashville, many struggles and horrible experiences, I had gone home to TX with a heavy heart. My good friend Kris put on this amazing record called Nowhere Else but Here and I was blown away. Then he said that I reminded him of this artist. Not sure how I was like a man, I asked him to clarify. He said it was the poetry and the stage presence. I was flattered because this guy was amazing. I read the album cover and realized that he lived in Nashville, and so, took a chance and emailed him.

Kindly, he responded and invited me out to meet a group of people for a beer. Being a good little Christian from TX, I balked. Beer drinking Christians? Oh, I was so young. I met the group and soon became part of a crowd that would go on to become some of Nashville's premier music makers, soul spillers and poets. You may not know their names, but you should. Or you have heard their work and never known it was them. Here's a few of them, which you should listen to, embrace and support:

Mandy Mann
Andy Osenga
Katy Bowser
There are more, but this post is about Matthew P.J.

For a long time, he took a break from music (at least partially from on the road and on the stage, although I hear he still rocked the worship at Midtown!) and then, with the grassroots support of many people, he released his second full length album Throwing Punches in the Dark - an independent record produced by Neilson Hubbard. An amazing record and on permanent rotation at my house.
Now comes the release of his third full length album called Swallow the Sea. Sure to be another huge success. It came out this week to much press. Written up here in the Tennessean. You can stream the whole album from the website: www.breakingoutthewindows.com Some are songs I have heard Matthew sing a hundred times (Feels like letting go) and others are as new to the world as is his little baby girl (A Song for Canaan). Without a clue feels like a song I've heard a thousand times in my heart but didn't have the words or the tune to sing it. It resonates. It calls. As does each song that spills out from this newest offering. Save You is the unrequited rock star's background music. It got a few slots on TV shows (I had to look this up, since we don't have TV) Kyle XY and Private Practice.
All in all, the album is beautiful and you must, no I insist, go out and get this album, attend his concerts and support this incredible musician.

Matthew has always been great about not being that lone rocker, gutting it out on his own. He has played with other musicians all around town, been part of alliances of musicians to support each other, and most of all, been entirely personable and kind. In the past it has been easy for me to envy the joy that my friends have when good things happen for them. A kind friend set me straight about that several years ago and I realized that it was a crappy place to live. Now I can laugh with him as wonderful things happen for his music. Growing up is hard, but good.

But enough about me! Here are some more places to listen to his stuff, including a live interview on the coolest radio station in Nashville:

Interview on music business radio's website, broadcast live on Lighting 100. Google it and enjoy!
Ten out of TN - an incredible collection of music and musicians who fly under the Nashville Music scene radar, including Trent Dabbs who's brain child this project is, Katie Herzig, and many more incredible musicians.

Aarg, Aarg, Arg! I don't want my president to be Sexy!

Just reading the news...I know, I know, I said I'd give it up. Here's a quote from an article in the LA Times here:

'"Yet when it comes to Obama, street artists around the country are falling into line. "Obama's a rock star, he's got a great brand and he's a very sexy candidate," explained Ian Bourland, a University of Chicago graduate student who is one of the few academics studying recent street art. "It's his race, his politics and his charisma."'

The last 'sexy' president (JFK) was a philandering git who entered history as a permanent martyr because he was assassinated! No matter what his politics, or what he did for the nation I have no respect for a man who can't be faithful to his wife, or at least own up to it, say it was wrong and choose another path. Can we not have another sexy president, please? In case you are wondering, I have not yet chosen a candidate, but crap like this just kills me! Let rock stars be rock stars and presidents be presidents. Please.

Stressful days = Bed Rest...or Hard Headed Woman Strikes Back!

When will I ever learn? I know all the moms out there say it's normal to have these every other week freak-outs, but they stress me and the baby out, not to mention the hubby who just sits there wide eyed while I shriek on and on about whatever I've got stuck in my craw. I'm going to have to learn to meditate or something. I am too freaking high strung right now for my own (or my baby's) good. I just don't have room in my brain or emotions to get all worked up about anything these days unless I want to spend the following day lying around, breathing through Braxton Hicks contractions and hoping everything stays put. Happy Friday to me. (sigh)

On a good note, the bug went in for a little repair yesterday (sticky throttle) and they charged us $0, since it was something that happened when the put the new engine in. $0 car repair is something I can handle!

SLOW DOWN FOR SCOOTERS!

For the second time in as many months, someone in my neighborhood has been pulled out in front of while riding their scooter, severely injuring them.

The first was my friend and neighbor who was forced to lay down her pink moped rather than slam into a car that decided that she didn't really have the right of way, or didn't see her, or some such crap. Her blog has photos of the blackened jeans that could have been her flesh! She was a mass of bruises and soreness for weeks! The guy said he didn't see her. Like that's an excuse!

Se second was a well known musician here in town named Will Hoge. He was nearly killed on his scooter when the driver of a van pulled out in front of him. The news ran the story last night here. The local paper ran a story revealing it was Will Hoge today. He currently is the hospital in EXTREMELY critical condition. The doctors have hope that he will make it. The driver of the van? Not a scratch. He said he never saw him.

The worst part of the news story was the shining example of tactlessness Sgt Bob Sheffield of the Metro Police who said,
"...the burden of safety is on the motorcycle rider [or] scooter rider. They are in, I mean, on a much smaller vehicle and, you know, a lot harder for people in passenger vehicles to observe 'em"

Gosh. I guess Will was just not being careful enough! How dare he drive down the road with his lights on and expect people to actually look before turning in front of him. I guess he was going TOO fast (it's 30 mph on that part of Main St.). Too bad Will's thoughtless actions as the 'smaller vehicle' nearly cost him his life! Since the 'burden of safety is on the...scooter rider,' I guess it's his own fault that he hit the side of a van! Oh this makes me mad! Never once did the newscast mention that the driver would be held accountable for his actions! What about failure to yield? What about reckless driving? What about nearly killing a man? What about depriving the world of any future great music from this artist? Nope. The burden falls on him. Oh, I could SPIT!

Will Hoge's music is something you have to hear. Check it out. Buy the album. He's gonna need it to pay the Doctor bills. Listen here.

Work Schmirk and other thoughts

I'm back to work and once I actually got there, I felt OK. It was just the prospect of going back that worried me. I also let my family know that I wouldn't be attending the family reunion that has long been planned. I just can't do two 10 hr drives in one weekend! I wish I could. It looks like it's going to be loads and loads of fun.

I had lunch with a friend today and I told her my (many) opinions, but I've noticed one thing while pregnant, upon which I shall expound. People who are not pregnant LOVE to regale people who are with stories of triumphs and/or horrors of people who they have known who had such and so happen to them. Like the woman who was back in her size 2 jeans by the time she left the hospital. Or the woman who worked/ran marathons/bench pressed her weight in iron/ fill in the blank here...until the DAY she gave birth and then, bounced back to herself so quickly you'd never even know she gave birth. I used to do this to pregnant people too. I guess I thought I was either:
1. Giving them hope or
2. Trying to convince myself that I would not be reduced to a weak, blubbering version of myself.

For the record, I now know that it makes pregnant women feel like crap, or like they're doing something wrong. At least it does me. I always thought I'd be so great at it (being pregnant) and the truth is, I'm not. I am the weak, blubbering version of myself (which I hated for a long time). But the other truth is, I'm not alone. If pregnancy was easy, they wouldn't write books, websites, movies, TV shows, and whatever else form of media the world can supply to help women get through it. There wouldn't be any humor about the raving insane beasts we turn into when growing a human. I tell my stories to other mothers and say how I feel insane (pregnancy tantrums, sobbing at 2am because my muscles are cramped up, sleeplessness, worry, jumpy about babies, crying over the news, crying at commercials (and the olympics - I'd do it too if I had TV!), and guess what...they have all been there too!! I'm perfectly normal and normal for me may look like insane to everyone else, but it's OK. It's where I'm supposed to be.

So to those women who ran marathons etc up until the day they gave birth and then sprang instantly back on the bike/treadmill/elliptical machine...bless your sweet over achieving hearts! Why did you not give yourself a break? It's OK to look like the human equivalent of an ice-cream cone! It's OK to take naps. It's OK to not look like a supermodel within 2 weeks of birth. I no longer envy you. I wish you had the opportunity to relax and enjoy the place you were in life and the life you were bringing into the world, even if your rump was a dimpled mass for longer than you'd like.

A v. Bridget Jones day

Am having a v. Bridget Jones kind of day so though I'd blog in manner of H. Fielding's character although, granted, not as funny as am not singleton with modern plot of Jane Austen woven into personal love life. If you please, this is from book, not silly film where what's her name made me want to pull lungs out of throat she played it so Bloody awkward.

3:10 am Husband came to bed after fiddling with his computer late, but was already awake in need of second trip to toilet. Ask him to fetch me a tylenol which is perhaps the most useless pain killer ever invented and yet I cling to it like life's blood! Why must ibuprofens hurt the unborn? Why?
3:30 am Husband has finally fallen asleep after thrashing around, getting annoyed with breathing machine (C-Pap), and wrestling the covers. Am wide awake and ache in back has worsened.

3:35 am Have begun to think about baby and usually she wiggles if I'm awake in the middle of the night.

3:45 am Am obsessing about lack of movement and have decided a warm bath might make back ache go away. Don't want to bathe with lights on, as am still in denial telling myself that turning lights on will fully wake me up.

3:47 am Bathe in the semi-darkness with only light coming from neighbors bright pink security light. Back still aching.

4:05 am Am back in bed, trying to settling in to sleep. Baby begins to move and am content with 'fetal movement count.' Am now v. hungry. Try to ignore it.

4:15 am Drink water from handy (ever-present) water bottle. Makes hunger worse. Begin thinking of nice turkey sandwich....must stop thinking!! Go to sleep!

5:15 am Give up trying to sleep and don tatty man-robe to go and quest for sandwich. End up eating turkey and some cut up cantaloupe, feeling v. smug about my level of self control as I ignore the choc. chips that call me. Check emails and whine to self that of 32 blogs I follow, no-one has updated. Stupid sleeping people.

5:45 am Trundle upstairs, husband has not moved from original position and it might take an air horn to wake him. Snuggle up and try to get comfy. Can't. Can't help thinking that mask, while helping him sleep and keeping him from damaging his heart from snoring, makes him look a little like an elephant. A cute elephant with a beard. Kiss his cheek and he mouthes a reply, but don't understand as am not a v. accomplished lip reader. Am dreading the day ahead with so little sleep (only 6 hours - went to bed around 9 pm). Give up trying to sleep.

6:16 am Back downstairs. Ice back and lay on couch in weird position with knees propped on four or five pillows and miraculously, fall asleep.

7:35 am Wake up with dead right hand from dangling off of couch. Since I had a bath at 3:45 am there is no need for a morning shower so I dress for work. Back hurts worse now and hubby pleads with me to take care of myself and skive off work. Ignore him and try to bravely go on.

8:02 am Find self reclined in lay-boy chair and unable to get up. Call boss and tell her I am taking day off to rest my back. We discuss whether or not I should go ahead and give notice since body has decided to become like old car and once one part is fixed, the next part breaks. Comparing body to old Chevy does wonders for self-esteem, but can currently blame it all on baby. Am still doing good with weight, but belly gets in the way and am feeling more and more like an orange, with legs.

11:05 am Have spent morning making trips to potty, drinking water, icing back muscles, reading Bridget Jones, rolling off couch to hunt for food which so far has included:

Eggs (2) and rye toast (2)
1 Tortilla chip with a dip of queso (did not like it cold, am to lazy to heat it up)
15 Cheddar cheese Doritos (seemed like the lazy version of chips and queso)
8 chocolate chips (finally gave in to the call)
1 weight watchers popcicle (only 2 points!)
Raisins - (am pretending that these shriveled remnants of grapes are, in fact, a fruit)


Finally figured out why the cat can't stay out of the broken window that I covered with a blanket. A small black kitten has taken up lodging on our back balcony. The last kitten we adopted from the alley cost us $200+ in vet bills with ear infections, neutering, etc. Am not interested in having a new one. Still. It's little, so I set out a tiny bit of food. Can't let animules starve! Now, to distract myself from more Doritos and chocolate chips, am blogging.

Politics make me want to move to...anywhere else

Oh, I am so over all this whining and back and forthing! He said this and my feelings are hurt...can you believe anyone would dare do such a thing...I have all the answers, you should listen to me...I've spent more money on this campaign than most of you will earn in a lifetime!! You should listen to me...

As if a single branch of the Government (Executive - see I was paying attention in class) could actually move the mountain that is bureaucracy! All the promises in the world amount to a drop in the bucket unless the rest of the system backs him up.

I keep swearing off reading political news, but it keeps dragging me back in. WHY?!!?!

I wish I had TV to watch the Olympics instead.