Spring-ish

It's only March, so this warm weather is only a tease.  I know this from 10+ years of Nashville weather.  The moment I put something in the ground before April 15th, fickle Spring hides her face and the frost kills my young plants.  I've learned.  But this delicious breeze!  This warm sun!  This barefoot babies on the playground day!  I've been fooled before and I may get fooled again. 

I haven't been capturing the days on 'film', but just drinking them in, and often sitting, totally overwhelmed while a small one sleeps on my chest and my other (still small in my heart) one runs and plays and attempts things I never thought she'd try.  It's funny how having mama's hands full all the time prompts new independence.  And new sadness.  'I need you Mama' is what she says about 50 (thousand?) times a day to me.  She can't express why she needs me, or what she needs me for, but truthfully, I know she needs me to find time for her when she is the only thing in my arms and not get half hugs while I hold my darling, but still extremely needy son.  I can't help but think of a wise friend's words to me as I stood crying in my dining room.  My heart has expanded to hold both of these darling babies, but my hands have not multiplied.  By default, I cannot hold them both and I feel it.  The return of the sun from waking until nearly sleeping helps me deal with this dilemma much better than the gray and cold days of January when I first brought this bundle home, but still, the longing to give my daughter the time she craves and still spend my days drinking in the smiles and coos of this little boy. 

But the garden calls me.  The snakes are already taking up residence in my irises.  I've been working on getting wee man to lay on a blanket and be OK with that.  Maybe under an umbrella while we prepare the soil for plants.  I set aside the nagging thoughts that my time would be bette spent keeping up with the laundry or vacuuming the hideously dog hair covered rug, or planning or grocery trip or...or...or...or...

Nope.  I ignore the or's and dig in the dirt.  Or at least plan to, even if I haven't begun.  Yet.

And so begins the battle for my garden

I planted my first garden this year.  It took some working up to because, I'm one of those weird kind of perfectionists that if I can't do something perfect, I won't try.  It's strange.  I know.  You'd never guess by the state of my house!  But in an effort to work through that, I planted my first garden and didn't do it perfect.  In fact, I made mistakes that continue to irk me.  For example:  The only great garden spot in my yard that is not paved is right next to my house.  I measured, built a raised bed all by myself, bought a truck full of dirt, filled the bed, and planted my little seedlings in spite of wild weather and so much else.  Then I realized that I had put the back foot and a half of my bed UNDER THE EVES.  Yes.  Under them.  So every storm that fills up my gutters so they overflow makes water beat down in a waterfall.  Sigh.

Today Cora and I went out to 'garden' ie she plays in the water and the mud and I weed.  Not that there are many weeds, but I noticed that my squash plants are being devastated by some little critter or insect.  The leaves are munched on and/or clipped off!  Why??  Why??  A wise woman in my garden club once said plant one for the weather, one for the critters and one for your family.  At this rate, the critters and the weather are going to get them all!!  I've got some calls and emails out to wiser garden folk than me, but I'm no fool.  I recognize that the battle for my garden produce has begun.  Slugs, squash bugs, cutworms.  Whoever you are...your name is mud. (or diatomacious earth)