suffering the slings and arrows....stupid puck

A brisk walk through downtown as we headed to the Solmelia Center for the Predators Hockey game was probably the best part of the night tonight on the arm of my big, burly, handsome geek. The Christmas lights were twinkling on the trees around the Schermerhorn Symphony Center and we had found SWEET free parking. It was all downhill from there and I blame my overly competitive nature for that. (sigh) Another thing to let go of if it causes me stress.

After a rousing opening period, the Preds suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of the Vancouver Canucks, culminating with a goal that skittered the length of the entire rink to gently land in our own undefended goal as we had sent all of our men forward to try and narrow the lead that the Canucks had over us. Even as one of the players nearly sacrificed his life in a effort to prevent it by skating the length of the rink after it, diving and colliding with the post and then wall of the rink. To no avail. It made the score 2 to 5, decidedly not in our favor. Most people walked out at that point, but there were a few more minutes so we stayed 'till the end. I am not even the biggest hockey fan and STILL it burns me up. A bright spot though, we had a small boy behind us during the game that had lots of questions for his mommy that she didn't know the answer to. We supplied most of those details for him, but the best question I overheard was "Mommy, why do they mop the ice?" I love the way kids see things in terms of their own small world! I explained about a Zamboni and he was much impressed. I'm big with the 6 year old crowd.

Back to work tomorrow. This is an all new position for the same large institution type university. I think I'll be answering phones. Fun.

Adventures in homeowning and Basement treasure

After months of ignoring our home inspection report, I finally printed it out and got in my grubbies to make the rounds. I began in the basement. It seemed a logical place. I'd been reading about foundations lately and so wanted to apply my newly gained knowledge to my own house. I began looking for moisture and soon figured out that I could not do that with all the junk down there. So basement hunting ended up being basement cleaning. Fogged up goggles and face mask in place, I swept and hauled and swept and RAKED and gathered all the rubble, for rubble it was, into the middle of the floor.

The Rubble...

Before it ended up in the trash bin, I decided to sift through it, just in case there were any little treasures hidden in that mess. Good thing I did! My archaeologist friend Lorraine would be so proud!! Look what turned up.

Former Residents (now deceased)

I wore gloves, don't worry.

Signs of life

Rubber bands, an old kitchen knife, a cymbal pad, a hacky sack from a sounds game that a rat or a mouse stole the fluff out of, shiny bits of glass and mirror, my bungee cord!! (hey, I thought I lost that!) picks (not mine), snail shell, pens, the leg off some sort of furniture (the ball thing), golf tees and last but not least, a crocheted wash rag. (someone's Gramma spent a LOT OF TIME on that thing and they just left it in the basement! Oh the guilt trip they might have gotten...)

Children lived here

Christmas ornaments, train set electric poles, a tiny red cell phone(didn't make it into the photo), part of a porcelain figure

Five old Marbles (how did my house know I love marbles!?)

Plus that thing with a number. What IS that thing. Was it bingo night at my house?

House bits and bobs

The knob to the basement door!! Lucky I found that or I'd have had to wait for The Geek to come home and let me out. I accidentally pulled the door all the way shut behind me.
Various washers and bits of copper piping, (hmmm extra cash?), some old, some new, wire, nail, a bolt that held the boiler down to the slab, a tin light switch cover staring back at me like a robot face!!

Odd hunks of wood

You never know when you'll need these!!

Signs of things to come

Why are their pieces of field stone rubble loose in the basement?! It's time to fix things.

I squealed over each one like a five year old! Each one of these things, I'm sure, is bound to 'land you in the hospital', 'take or shoot your eye out', give you tetanus' or what ever other 'mommy isms' I'm sure mine had in store for me and I will, in turn, visit upon the currently unborn (and un-concieved) but for now, it was lots of fun.

Back to business...So the basement does have a smidge of seepage and after a tour of the outside, I can see why. We'll start with a gutter repair and if that doesn't dry out the ground on the north side of the house, we may have to dig a drainage pipe, or figure out where the currently unused, but present terra cotta pipe leads. I had many more fabulous adventures in the basement today, but they will keep till another day.

Stay at home dog mom - strikes back!!

Still no job, but I can't say I'm sad. I spent most of yesterday in PJ's reconciling our bank statements and monitoring the dog, who, the night before last, threw up a plastic Kroger bag...I know...the life of luxury! Can't say that I miss filing or sorting paper clips or anything remotely like that. I am finishing Christmas cards, meeting a friend for lunch and in general, getting the home life back up and running. No word yet from my recruiter, but if I don't hear from him soon, I'll start looking for something to do with my time.

Lots of crazy life is coming down the pike. My parents might be coming for the holidays, and after 8 years of asking, nay, begging them to visit I have to say I am a smidge unprepared. I guess I never thought they'd actually come! Silly me. So now, we have 1 bed (ours), a couch that is not great for sleeping on, and have just abandoned the upstairs of our house in preparation for renovation. I guess we have to move things around again! Plus, it looks like we'll be eating Christmas dinner around the coffee table if I don't lay my hands on some cheap seating. Other than that, bring it on. We are going this weekend to the tree farm to cut a tree and have lots of fun with new friends. I am very excited about it!

As for being a stay at home dog mom, I have a Freckles on a mission. She has the trash buzz and we can't seem to barricade the garbage secure enough to keep her out of it. She breaks chain, bends steel...(just kidding about the steel part) It's like those bears that get hold of people food and the have to be re-located because there is no breaking them of it. No matter that it'll kill her, she doesn't care. So for now, she is restricted and I am off to home depot to get some stronger chain. (not to chain her up on BTW, just to chain the door shut so the cat can still get in, do his business and get out. And she CAN'T get in. That's the plan anyway.

Blog, I knew you were trouble!!

At the end of the day today, I got called into my super's ('MS' for short) office where I was informed that I was "not a good fit" for the office. I asked for a little clarification, "constructive feedback" I called it, and that's when MS mentioned my blog. Apparently while I was out sick yesterday, MS tracked down my blog somehow and read, not a few entries, but the entire thing. Years worth! While that did wonders for my blog rank, it also lead MS to believe that I'd been blogging on the company time. (untrue) MS also mentioned the photos of archaic computers I'd taken and said it was "not appreciated." They were 'large university type institution's' personal property (never mind that most of it's bound for the garbage). That's the first I heard of that being against policy. I sat through the hours of training for this job and never once did they mention anything like this.

While I sort of sat there in shock (and tears, yes, I'm very emotional), I felt as if my journal had been read. Not that all of you don't read this, but I invited you! I know you. If strangers read it, then fine, but they don't use it as 'evidence' against me. Now, several hours later, I've begun to discover what was really underlying my anger.

• Fear - it tops the charts. The Geek is being hired on to his new job and while great, there is this one little thing. The whole month of December that he will receive NO PAYCHECKS. We had been counting on my puny paycheck to tide us over. Perhaps we should count on something (or someone) bigger.
• Hurt - Here is this person whom I have continually worked so hard to be kind to, in spite of the fact that MS treated me as if I am 12, smacked me on the back of the head with either papers or hand so often that I had to actually ask them to stop. The same person who has watched me with a wary eye from the first week and 'jokingly' expressed a fear that I would take away their job. Now I am not being heard, I am not being understood, I am not being respected in ANY WAY. I am being falsely accused of things that are now costing me my job. When pressed, MS mentioned other things...not completing tasks fast enough (how fast do they want them?), having trouble staying focused(yes, I'm on meds for that), and a list of 'little' things that somehow never got mentioned along the way but also are contributing to my termination. I feel devalued. I worked my butt of doing the most menial crap!! Any human would have trouble staying on task. Yet, I came back, day after day and did it. I was honest and told my boss that I was struggling with that work and asked for something to break up the monotony. MS gave me More menial crap work and I did that additional in between the other menial crap. I said that this being my first foray out into Corporate America, which MS knew, I would have liked to know that I was actually doing something wrong so I could stop, change course, get better. "Nope," MS said. "You're just a temp." In other words, disposable, replaceable, not worthy of respect.
• Helplessness - nothing I said could change the mind of my boss. And believe me I rage against that feeling!
• Embarrassment - MS knows more about my life than I want them to. If I had wanted MS to read my blog, I'd have sent them the LINK!
  
• Sadness - because to lose a job, for me, is to fail. I hate to fail. I know it's not truth, but it's how I feel.
• Joy - I don't have to go back to this job!! EVAAAAR!!! Good-bye shredding and shredding and sorting and logging, (BUT NOT READING) and hauling files. Good-bye sorting through 12 banker boxes FULL of paper and recycling all the manila folders and PAPER CLIPS! Good-bye paper cuts. Good-bye being hovered over and questioned about being online when I'm at lunch. Good-bye stuffy unfriendly vibe of the office and 'calming' blue walls. Good-bye nervous and suspicious people. I don't have to be told I'm working TOO HARD or TOO FAST and then be fired over working TOO SLOW. Good-bye horrible cube and dreadful plastic plant. I shall not miss you. I will miss the people who were kind to me, who joked and tried to make me feel welcome in this uncomfortable place. Next time I'll listen when my gut tells me something is wrong and I'll say, 'this isn't a good fit,' BEFORE I get terminated.
  

It's been a rough/long day. I moved the blog to further aid our anonymity and my right to free speech, if you are wondering why the new address.

And no...

This is not ALL I'm doing on my day home sick. And Yes...I feel a little guilty for being home sick today. Mental Health Day, really.

Ah hah ha ha hah Hooooo! Wha ha ha ha ha...(wipes eyes) hm heh heh ahem...

Thank you What not to Crochet. Made my morning. Best part is...they can be used to hold things!! Because of the drawstring. Why green though...or any color for that matter!! Oh the weirdness of it all!

Jack came to visit me this morning...

First Frost

Bring your silver, in the dark of the night
to sparkle and shine in the first dawn light

The morning sun sets the blades afire
With with pink tinged opal and ice blue sapphire

Sing a sweet deathsong to the stubborn green leaves
I will not mourn for the branches of the bereaved

Your long cold fingers reach in through the door cracks
You've been gathering strength in the hours of pitch-black

The floorboards creak, groaning with age
They strain against their nails and express their outrage

They shrink back from you as their cells contract
Long dead, still the bones of those trees react.

Like a thief, you come to steal the warmth away
I curl borrowed under blankets to keep you at bay.

But the clock will soon sound and I'll put my feet to the floor
And join the chorus of the floorboards that cried out before.

Oh Jack, you are welcome. It has been far too long,
But first give me a chance to put my slippers on!

Happy 'First Frost' of the Season!

Work, Monday and A.L.C Violations

I despise work. Can't I just be independently wealthy? No? OK.

I had a star studded night at church last night as I looked around and half the people who's music I'd been jamming to this week were sitting in seats around me. Lots to report and not enough time to do it in. 6 am crept up like the Grinch who stole me sleep time and bit me!! I ignored it long enough to make myself late for the bus so I had to skip showering (EWW!!! You say?... Get over it. When I lived in Peru I'd skip showering for days!! It was life risking to stand under the appropriately named 'widow maker' that heated the water...but that's another story.) So, just a quick shiver under the spigot, then flinging myself into clothes, flinging food at the animals (ok, not AT them, but in their bowls) and then running, yes, HAULING down the block to catch the bus. I crossed the street and it crested the hill. Missing the bus would have been bad.

But the bus always affords me great 'copy'. There are all these new and interesting people there and I get to surmise what their lives are about. I'm sure I've got it all wrong, and very often am schooled in reality when they actually open their mouths to talk to me. Still, it's an adventure. I stand out on the bus. Usually the only white person who's pants aren't sagging with my hat on crooked. It's a strange and yet beautiful paradigm. I practice bus knitting and rate the people around me on a scale of A.L.C. For those of you who have not ridden public transit and therefore don't know about A.L.C, I shall explain. A.L.C stands for Acceptable Level of Crazy and if you are on the public transit, it is best to maintain a very tolerable A.L.C for the sake of everyone around you and your personal health. I've never experienced extreme violation of A.L.C, but my friend and neighbor got to watch police officers wrestle a man to the bus floor and forcibly remove him from the vehicle. He was exceeding the A.L.C. for reasons known only to him and the bus driver. Other things rank you in this category too.
For example:

• Talking, muttering, grunting like a Wildabeast (or Yak), or cussing loudly to yourself or at anyone else. I watched a large homeless (and crazy) man yell, no SCREAM, at an old man (a perfect stranger to him) who was waiting for the bus. I have no idea what it was about, but...exceeded the A.L.C.
  
• Touching people when there is plenty of room on the bus.
  
• Telling random strangers your life story while they are forced to sit next to you on their way to the next stop.
  
• Saying in the creepiest way possible "How you doin'." to a strange woman (ME!) at 6 frickin' 32 in the morning.
• I could go on.
  

Lest I put you off public transit, please let me say that these events are spread out over months and at their worst, add bit of spice to my life. The bus system, while it has it's flaws, is FREE for me because of the large Institution Type University I work for and for everyone else, cheaper, MUCH CHEAPER than driving. Plus, I am happy not to drive in rush hour traffic. It's like being chauffeured around! Me and about 20-40 other people, (depending on whether it's one of those double jobbies) but still.

So today, no one exceeded the A.L.C. but, you know, if they had, this post would be even MORE interesting, so who's to say it's an undesirable thing...for the sake of entertainment...

A chink in the armor

I had a conversation with my long-time friend TLC and after a fabulous discussion about her current man problems (she keeps being asked out by amazing guys who have EBJ (everything but Jesus) Oh, the tragedy of it all!), we briefly talked about how long it had been since I got married. She asked..."almost 3 years?" and the answer was nearly 4. Though it was the tiniest of moments that passed, and then we moved on to other things like this sad event in the history of her rock-star travels, it made me think.

It was 5 years ago that we walked around and around that rubber track at Vandy, talking about the future. Nearly 5 years ago, when I put out my last album, I had plans to go on the road. Although a marriage and all the drama that followed derailed those plans at first, it was this self-knowledge that followed that truly took the train off the tracks. I hate touring. I hate being homeless and sleeping in random places. I love to travel, but traveling is not work that I have to do. I can do what I like, see what I like and take it easy. Mostly I love to live where I travel. I sorta nestle down in one spot for awhile and get to know the place. Then I can move on. My musician friends live in their cars, eat from a cooler or fast food places, sleep on scratchy hotel sheets or a borrowed couch every night, and are alone, for the most part, especially the independent ones. Though I envy them many things (among them: their music being heard, living a life that leaves space for music and creating every day, new places, new friends, having an awesome apartment in Manhattan, writing, speaking, adventures, sweet Cash!) this is one that I don't envy. It's one of the big deterrents for me to picking up my guitar and going.

At least that is what I tell myself and everyone else. If I never am on a stage in a strange town, I never have to worry that no one will come. If I never risk failure, I'll never be a failure, right? I read a quote somewhere, just a silly little thing, but it whanged like a gong in me. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried." I have spent so much time doing this! I put on the bravest face I have in my bag and tell people I don't care. "If I say it enough," I think, "it won't hurt when people remind me of how I didn't measure up." Not that many people do though, outside of my family that is. I think that residue still hangs on me a bit. My family, though I love them dearly can sometimes be like chickens. I know that sounds like a weird comparison and you might think, 'Umm...Chickens are harmless...and afraid of everything! What are you talking about?!" But if you have ever been around chickens, you'll understand this analogy. For those of you who didn't grow up on a farm or the like, I'll explain. If a chicken is hurt or shows a weakness, they are pecked to death by the flock. One limp or bloody eye and it's over for that chicken. They don't all jump on it at once but that chicken dies at the hands of the whole flock, who kill it one peck at a time. Then they actually eat it!!

In my childhood, I saw my family eat people alive emotionally. Pick on them, tease them, make them feel like crap. Show one weakness and you are toast. I participated!! I remember once my little sister had a crush on someone and had written his initials on her notebook. Well, he had rather telling initials and soon we ALL knew who it was. We teased and teased her about it until she scratched his name off of her notebook. To like someone made you vulnerable, to be sad made you vulnerable, to love, to be happy, to worry, to dream, to fear. So on the surface, I stopped doing those things. I was strong, sarcastic, quick to comment on others faults. I carried sardonic humor like Indiana Jones' whip! Spot a chink in the armor and 'whap-pow!' I'd hit it.

It made me very popular in college (when that sort of thing is smiled upon - think Woody Allen), but soon after I got married, my husband called for a cease-fire. It took tons of gentle and not so gentle reminders for me to actually stop. It has taken nearly 4 years for me to begin to take down the barriers and armor that had guarded me so well and be vulnerable. Sometimes I still fear that I'll be eaten alive, so I strike out first with words or anger...no... lets be honest and call it rage. Rage has been my best weapon of late. But little bit by little bit, I am working toward being vulnerable.

So here's an attempt. I am sad that I am not a rock star. I love my life and who I am. Most days (as I blogged about recently on a particularly good day) I am content, but there is still this little voice says, "I want that life." My birthright and my instincts tell me to hide all evidence that I ever wanted that; deny that I longed for that gypsy life on the road and say intelligent things about how the music market has changed and there is no room for a 30+ year old woman who is overweight, no matter what her voice or songs sound like. How the business is all about selling yourself and I'm not into that (more like I don't think what I've got is worth buying). About the importance of being sensible and stable, putting down roots, investing in my marriage, finding other outlets for my creativity, contributing financially to my family etc, etc, etc. And yet, that voice does not fade. Its a whisper that drives me to fill blank pages with words that no one will hear, to pick up my guitar when I am tired from a 40 hour work week and rebuild the rapidly fading callouses on the ends of my fingers, to have Berklee's online music courses saved in my bookmarks so I can look at them and dream about a Masters course.

So I'll say it here where no one, anyone and everyone can see it: I want to play on stage, not every night, but lots. I want to drive around the US (not alone, and with my own sheets) and take silly pictures in front of faded landmarks and national monuments while we stop to pee on the side of the road. I want to sell the 6 boxes of cd's I still have in the basement. I want to play my guitar and sing every day and be in community with other musicians who respect me as a songwriter and fellow musician. I don't have a solution, but, for me, saying it out loud and setting aside what I am afraid you will think is a start.

I miss you, family!

The geek and I stayed home for Thanksgiving this year and were very grateful for the opportunity to mooch turkey from others, but I have to say. There's no place like home. If I had little ruby (or silver, if you are a traditionalist) slippers to click together, they'd rush me right into the chaos that possessed my sister's living-room this last Thursday. I hear it was wild! Kids under-foot, too much food, nobody napping enough, but still, I am sad that I was not there. I love my family. As crazy as they all are! My uncle and I lamented that we are becoming more and more scattered as our family unit grows. It was always too many people, but now with my siblings contributing to the current kid population, we are full to bursting and a family get-together is more on the scale of family reunion! In spite of all that, I long for Grama and Grampa's house (which the new owners have decided to demolish!!!!! Evil people) and the comfort of home and family.

As for what I did while here, see my previous post about the Thanksgiving Concert that the Nashville Chamber Orchestra put on. It was too much fun!! Although, as a side note, I have to say with great power (solos) comes great responsibility (showing up on time and knowing the music). You know who you are, though you may never read this, I just had to put my pound of angst out there about it. Now I am done. It shall never be mentioned again.

Happy (Belated) Thanksgiving everyone!! Break out the tinsel and eggnog (and lactaid pills!) It's time for Vince Guaraldi to serenade us through the month of December... (you know, for a white guy with a helluva handlebar mustachio, he's not too shabby with the jazz piano. I wonder what possessed him to grow that thing!)

Hotmail, I think we should break up

I know that you and I have been together since I was 18, but things have changed. You were so young and cool then with your little red stamp! I remember it had an 'H' paving the way for the future. You were so cutting edge, so 'in the now'! You showed up, just when I needed you and you didn't bring your baggage into the relationship. Granted, I had to choose this totally weird name to be with you, but it was worth it then. I mean, the other option was my University's crap email system called PINE. Which some idiot hacked and spammed the life out of everyone, making it unusable. Yes, even in 1996. I know. It was was a sign of things to come.

Oh the innocence of you. What we had was so sweet. No MSN or crazy microsoft gradoo hanging around. It was just the two of us. I loved you hotmail! Little did I know, not long after we met, you began your sordid little affair with Bill and all his money!! I'll never understand your relationship with him. He's such a NERD!! I guess money can make you turn a blind eye when you are in bed with a geek. But even your secret big bad sugar daddy forgot to pay the light bill and where were we Christmas day, 1999? IN THE DARK!! Even I know not to trust a sugar daddy.

Your attempts to change for the better never worked. You said you installed a security system, but your "security system" was really your idiot friends standing guard at our front door, shoving everyone I know and love aside and making them wait in the yard. I had to go outside and and escort them in myself!! Even if I took the time to point out my friends to your guards and say, "Let this one come see me. Remember, she has on a green shirt and jeans and her name is Julie"...well, then every moron who showed up in a green shirt and jeans your idiot guards just let in the door, but still stuck Julie out in the yard, waiting. Forever. Until she went away after 5 days. It was rough, but we got through it. "At least," I thought, "he's trying!"

You went and got help. Tried to grow with the times and the next thing I know, you are coming home in flashy silk suits with a stray blond hair stuck to the lapel. You fixed your teeth, dyed your hair, went on a diet and I never saw it coming. Ok, that's not true. I had a small clue when I saw the icon of things to come. I just didn't think that she'd show up and shove me out the door! Hotmail, if I had wanted your stepbrother Outlook, I could be wit HIM. But the truth is, I didn't want him. I wanted you.

So I guess people change, they grow apart, they create mergers that the other partner isn't happy about. I put up with the MSN thing and the teasing about your name and how hotmail could be 'hot male'. I was FAITHFUL Hotmail! Why Hotmail!? All my friends left. They got gmail or yahoo or other cool new endtags to their emails, but not me. I stuck around. And this is the thanks I get in return?

Fine, be 'live', be 'cool', get that windows logo tatooed to your butt! You can have all the younger crowd swarming around you, but they will never love you like I did. This generation is fickle. You are always going to have to dye your hair that color. They'll never let you grow old gracefully. Someday, when you are tired and aching with the gadgets that load you down, you are going to look back and ask yourself, "Why did I ever let her go? She loved me for who I was!" but by then, google and I will have settled down, raised a family and I will have forgotten about our life together...almost.

Waxing poetical

Walking to Fido,
the warmth of a mug of tea draws me
down the street.
I am struck by the silence of
the rush hour traffic,
clogging the pavement.
Nothing but the pulsing purr of
hundreds of cars lined up,
headed home.

I wrestle my umbrella from the hands of the wind
Avoiding, the puddle that threatens
to soak my socks through the holes
in my Mary Jane shoes.
The cuff of my pants
dips a finger
in a passing puddle
and flicks
a cold drop on my bare ankle.

The push and pull of this bi
polar autumn continues to
confuse the trees.
The Debutante maples
early to the dance,
showing their orange and red too soon
are now browning wallflowers
to the new crop of girls,
sugar maples flaming and bright.
Too cold to stay green,
to warm to let go,
they held on to their leaves
too long
now they rot and fade brown
on the branch.
Between the scorching
drought of the summer and
the sodden, undecided days of the
coming winter,
more tall hickory trees decide that
it must be spring.
Surely that's the better choice.
Their tender shoots of green
know not
the frozen doom that awaits them.
Shivering like new babies,
naked in the frost.

On the post,
the bright white man light
and the descending third
that repeats its electronic call
tell me it's time to
cross the street.
The light changes red to green
the quiet sea of brake lights
becomes the crashing ocean,
rolling waves on the beach
in passing rubber and wet pavement.
I taste exhaust in my mouth
I breathe through my nose to
filter what makes its way
past my vocal chords.

The delicate chill of the
gust of wind
shakes the rain
from the leaves and
brings a shade of pink to my cheeks,
blushing as though a lover
has caressed them and
brought heat,
not chill
to my face.

The bus squeals its arrival,
the pavement turns to bricks,
the awning up ahead tells me that
warmth,
tea,
and the soothing buzz
of quiet conversation and
carefully chosen
eclectic music
are near and
I can lose myself in a
deep booth and
put pen to paper.

Evans House update

After much thinking about it and going through the ringer lately, Matt and I have decided that we don't need to separate again. I have been working really hard on not losing my temper over everything and Matt has been really working hard on making time for me. I really have enjoyed reaping the benefits of years of therapy lately. We forgive more quickly, talk about our feelings, practice kindness, take responsibility for ourselves...It's really nice. Yes, there are still the bumps in the road, which sometimes I sit down in front of, sob, and swear they are mountains. But all in all, it's on an uphill climb. Our life together is kind of like the stock market. Dips and peaks with a couple of crashes, but over all and over time, the trend is definitely upward.

It's coming up on my 31st birthday soon and I am having a big cookout on Saturday. Last year, I spent a lot of time struggling with being 'old', although I am not old. It was more about leaving the image of youth behind. I didn't know how to be anything BUT young. It's all I'd been, all my life. This year, I am not so freaked out. I am loved as I am, I am smart, I have experiences now that I never had in my youth. Being in my 30's is not so bad. In fact, I feel like I am finally hitting my stride! I dress in a way that makes me happy. I live in the world in a way that makes me happy. I don't struggle with "who am I?" much any more. I find myself to be beautiful, where in my teen years and beyond, I looked in the mirror and saw myself as lacking. I am not so afraid any more. Not that I think I can handle everything, but the knowledge that I can't and that it's OK, is a restful place. I'm no great politico, although I am still terribly opinionated. I am no supermodel, but I take care of my body and don't despise it. I am not one of the most brilliant minds of my time, but I like how I process things and am proud of the music I write and the little blurbs I write here. I like that I am still growing and changing and becoming the woman I was made to be. It's not really such a bad life.

As for the house, we move downstairs so we can start work on the upstairs. For now, the nasty carpet up there will serve as a drop-cloth as we fix the places where the plaster has come off, repair some of the woodwork and paint. No big renovation plans yet. The bathroom will have to be updated (or something! We haven't decided exactly what yet), since it is not very usable right now, but other than that, it's pretty cosmetic work. Then the carpet will come up and redoing the floors will begin. It'll be quite a job, but that's off in the future and for now, it's kinda cozy living on the bottom floor. Like going back to 2 bedrooms!

One last note...Matt has been a contractor with his Employer since February and this past Friday, they offered him a full time position!! He has worked his butt off to make that happen, so praise where praise is due. He is so excited and I am so happy for him. It's a good thing we are staying put this Holiday Season...the changeover in pay schedules will be a little tight! Overall, we are grateful and excited.

See you at my party!

Office Drama

Yesterday, one of my co-worker's son was in the office after school. When his mom went to get the car, he passed out. I and another were first responders and all those years as a nanny, combined with all those years as a lifeguard kicked into action! I didn't freak out. We called his mom, and 911. He got taken to the Emergency Department and is still there this morning! He keeps blacking out for unexplained reasons.

After the EMS came, the office cleared out like a ghost town. When I asked about that this morning, I came to understand that most people in my office don't have children and have never had to deal with a medical emergency. They all kind of freaked out. Me, I was in my element. I guess I do have some strengths. They may not be office policy and knowing all the rules for being P.C., but I have something to bring to the table and I am glad about that.

Then again...

Apparently writing in Spanish jumps you up a grade...

Man...

WHY?!! WHY?!! I iz smart too!
Well as a side note, I hear that newspapers are written at a 6th grade reading level, so at least I am accessible.
Actually, I'm pretty sure it's because I purposefully misspell things to make a point or to write kitty pidgin.
Por Ejemplo: This is s n f! (which it is not) OMG Mom! It's NBD. (and that's what I have to tell myself.
Yup. That's it.

Nashville Chamber Orchestra +Stevie Wonder music +Choir = AWESOME!!

The majority of transient musicians I know are not from around here and thus, don't stick around for the Holidays. This year, we are doing something a little different and are taking a break from holiday traveling. This also means, for the first time, EVER, I'll be here for all of the Nashville Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year hoopla. Plus, I get to sing. I got invited to sing with the Nashville Chamber Orchestra (NCO from here on out...that's a lot of typing)Choir for their Thanksgiving Celebration -- Songs in the Key of Life. For any of you unfamiliar with that title, it belongs to one Stevie Wonder. It was a double album that came out in 1976 (so MANY good things happened to the world that year...like the birth of ME!) and if you think you don't know it, you do. It's been the background to your life and you never even guessed! This was one of the most incredible albums that Stevie put out, the press and the public thought so too and bought it in stacks! But I digress...

The NCO, along with soloist and a gospel choir is performing songs from this album as well as some other pieces for their Thanksgiving Celebration as a part of their 07-08 Adventure Series
and let me tell you, it's gonna be INCREDIBLE!! If you want to attend, here's the skinny:
When: Friday Nov. 23 AND Saturday Nov. 24
Time: 8pm
Cost: Starts at $19 and goes to $69 - SEE P.S.
*Cabaret-style table seating on the main floor, with food and beverage service*
Eat and be cultured!!
Where: Schermerhorn Symphony Center
One Symphony Place
Nashville, Tennessee 37201-2031
map

PS. If you are my friend and live round here, I can get you a discount on levels 1,2 and 3(mid-range pricing, not the cheap seats). Just ask me. You know where I am. BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT SOON!!!

Oh Martha...

I am a living, breathing, juxtaposition of incongruous things, and I like it that way.

There's the tomboy holdovers from my youth: (some aren't tomboy, just cool stuff)
I love dirt, I love messes, I love not bathing for days...well, not love, but put up with for the sake of sleeping in 20 minutes, I love books about making things, I love Making the things in the books, I love fishing (though the worms make my stomach flip over), I love swimming in any sort of body of water, I love soccer, I love running around with my dog in the passenger seat, I love home improvement, I love tools, I love working on my Volkswagen, I love 'puters, I love photography, I love yard-work and hammering things and building things. I love jamming on my guitar, I love going to rock shows, I love camping and making fire!

Then there's the 'girly stuff': (not promoting the stereotype, just putting a division up in myself that amuses myself)
I love tea parties and long for my own set of china, I love sewing, I love knitting, I love baking, I love cooking, I love crocheting, I love embroidering, I love mopping, I love vacuuming, I love scrubbing the bathroom (oh the cleanliness of it all!), I love round things and shiny things, I love to make jewelry, I love to paint pretty pictures, I love to buy fresh flowers for my house, I love parties and dressing up (although my feet get so mad at me for wearing high heels) And finally I love Martha.

Against all odds, I love Martha!! I could spend hours on her website and flipping through her magazines about how to make things and make things beautiful. So what if she is a snarky know-it-all who's bourgeois taste in recipes (simple supper my eye) makes her magazine recipes something I am sure to never try, is a convict, wore a very apropos costume this year and not very nice. I don't care!! Say what you will. She's just so very clever!! I can't help myself.

Fully expect to get wads and wads of hand-made gifts from me all you out there. I may just quit my job to stay home, bake, and blog. I promise not to get any car grease on them.

Nashville...but not

Fox had a new show on called Nashville and this weekend, just for kicks, I watched it online. The result was like walking around downtown stoned out of my head! There were all the familiar things about my town put up with all this plastic people and strangeness! What's that show...The Hills on MTV! That's what it reminds me of!! A faux reality TV show!! All this crazy manufactured drama with the HUGEST HAIR I have seen since I moved here from Texas. All the girls on that show, even the "extras" are blond with huge white teeth. They must have gone and culled Graham Central Station on a Saturday night! I was waiting for Fido and other cool places to show up on the screen, but alas, they stuck to the stereotypical places. Key locations I saw were been Loser's (which I've never heard of), the walking bridge, Tootsie's, and lots of drive-bys of downtown, also this apartment complex I have walked by a zillion times on Belmont Blvd! Surreal. About halfway through the first episode, I was thinking "I'm sure how I feel about havin' my town bastardized in this way."

It's a good thing I don't have to wonder about those feelings any more since the show has been taken off the air. I did a little boogie dance when I read those words in the forums. I began reading them when I realized there were only 2 episodes and at this point in the season there should be more posted.

So Nashville's rep was saved by low ratings!

Our Side's Krunker than Krunker than YO SIDE!!!!

Barefoot Republic attenders will get the title.
I happened to be tuned to Nashville Public Radio (NPR) this morning about noon on my way back from the grocery store and The Splendid Table was on the radio and wouldn't you know it, East Side Fish was being reviewed!! I had heard a rumor of this to come, but wasn't particularly intent on looking up the exact time of airing. We have long driven by the little fish shack on Main Street and giggled a the sign which read "The Krunkest Fish in Town." They were loathe to call it ramshackle, but I'm not. It's just another testament about not judging a book by it's cover! I laughed at the endearingly uncool way that Jane Stern talked about it being "Krunky," and how she had to be informed about the hip-hop meaning of 'krunk' which as several meanings (85 so far in the Urban Dictionary) but has come to mean, according to Michael Stern "extreme" or "the best" etc.
You can listen to the review here.

Yeah East Nashville!!! I love our hood.

My very own lols

I've been making our pet pictures into lols (why not...I got time!). If you don't understand, click here or here. But there also is this HI-LARRY-US site called lolgeeks, and since I have one of my very own of those, I am making lolgeeks wif the husband photos.
Here's one:

foodz
Originally uploaded by Ariana in Nashville

This one is a lolgeek waiting to happen. I can't pass it up! It's too good. But it needs some pidgin added and I am stymied...any suggestions?

Da Boys
Originally uploaded by Ariana in Nashville

I love our friends.

Andy's Birthday Party
Originally uploaded by Ariana in Nashville

Look at these guys! So happy together. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see Matt with his guys. Aren't they cute?
I goes like this from left to right:
Paul, Matt, Andy, and Kevin.

All of us (wives in order of attachment to fellas above: Christy, Me, Allison, and Melissa) (here's most of us) get together on Friday nights to watch Stargate: Atlantis. It used to be just Stargate and then they spun off the Atlantis series and THEN the first show ended so they carried on with Atlantis.

When Matt and I met he said he watched this show called Stargate and I replied "Like the movie?" Little did I know I would be hog-tied and forced to watch season after season after season!! Not really. We were newly weds...I did it for love! I had to catch up on 6 or 7 (can't remember now) seasons so I could know what was going on when we went to Kevin and Melissa's house for Stargate Night. I was DREAMING new episodes at night...seriously!

And so it began.

Almost 3 years later, we are still spending Friday nights in Smyrna watching the SciFi channel in Kevin's bonus room o Star Wars Stuff. He's a bit of a fan. We are quite the crew. Usually the fellas start out with VG's until the show starts and then we all watch the show (the women keep tabs on the highlights while kniting, crocheting, gabbing a smidge, playing with Annie when the Hilchers are in town, being generally amused by Jayden, and then get shushed for the riviting parts who are randomly discussing the plausibility of the plot line etc.)

It's not bad having friends, is it!

Problems with Jayden's link? That's because she is a minor and thus I have made her photo on flickr private and available to only those who ask to be my friends or family on www.flickr.com. It's free. Don't be shy!

OMG technology!

work, originally uploaded by Ariana in Nashville.

The days are getting colder. It was quite chilly standing at the bus stop today. I was glad for my 2 fleeces and gloves and a hat I made. Once I was actually on the bus, I melted like ice-cream in hell, but that is beside the point. The one great thing about Matt when he sleeps is that his body temp must rise to 104 or something, because it's like having a great, hairy water bottle next to me. I loves to snuggle up in the nites... Plus I can never extol the virtues of the goose down duvet (we don't need no stinking sheets) enough. Perfect for all seasons! Bus activities today included: working on my new knitted Tam. I made one in blue, but it turned out too big and not deep enough. It doesn't stay on! So its back to the drawing board, or needles or scrap paper...whatever it is I use to make up and edit new patterns! I digress.

Anyhoo, back to my post. So my new temp assignment has been, erm, strange, to say the least. Yesterday I sorted and inventoried old electronic equipment, including this:

Thinkpad 300 - with sticky stuff...ick.
Originally uploaded by Ariana in Nashville



and This:

Toshiba Satellite Pro 425CDT-yeah baby!
Originally uploaded by Ariana in Nashville



which as you can see, don't so much resemble laptops as BRICKS!! If not bricks they are of "lappy" fame.



Quite the education. Then I spent the next 4 hours trying to break into a passworded computer, Brand name: Kaypro. Have you ever heard of a Kaypro? I had not. "Large University-Type Institution" must have gotten them on DEEP discount.
So hacking the Windows XP was not so fun, but v. challenging and I beat it!! I was so proud of me. I iz smart too! The reason why I cannot post pics at work is because of the EXTREME oldness of my work computer. Ok, I am being a little harsh. But when the front of my "large Nashville based distributor of computers" Brand computer has 2 USB ports on it, but the 'puter doesn't supply enough power to those ports to run a 256MB FLASH DRIVE, we are verging on obsolete, in my opinion. I miss my old assignment technology. At least there I had a lappy that could run a flash drive, could port in an external hard drive, had a place to insert my wee SD card to upload photos while on "Large University-Type Institution" time (JK if you are watching...I was on a break! Really!)

Working for a living... every day

Life in the fast lane...I have a job now. A real job, where I have to get up, put something on besides jeans and sneakers and go to WORK. I will never understand work. Here's my synopsis. I've made it into a flow chart, just for clarity. You can never have enough clarity.

Click on image to enlarge.
So this is my life. I can't say I am always pleased. I don't know how to dumb down or slow down or smile and nod when people are treating me like a drooler. Thus...I quickly work myself out of a job and need to be reassigned!

Home again Home again..biggity bog...

Well, the good ole boys from Lexington brought me back home last night. Grubby, tired, shame-faced. They kept me entertained for about 2 hours with a string of the thickest drawl you've ever heard. I thought Texans were bad. This stuff is so thick I could spread it with a knife!! Matt and I decided to go back to sharing a car until we can fix this one. I'll have to save up though. It'll be a doozy to do. Good news though. I was driving to Longview to work at Day Camp for First Christian Church. It's the camp I went to as a kid and then came back as a junior counselor later. It is lots of fun for little kids! Too bad they don't let them swim in the lake any more. Anyhoo...a kind benefactor paid for my plane ticket down there so I could do music for the kids. I am so excited!! At least I'll get to see family and perhaps have a little fun in the process.

Matt is enjoying our new house. He gets his own office. (I still have a squishy chair in the corner of it so we aren't too far apart) He had a bunch of guys over today to play video games. He thought he'd be on his own by now!! I was supposed to be gone! He and Freckles hang out up here and bond. She's a big fan of the ratty carpet that is in our new house...ick! It's gonna be the first thing to go.

One last thing before I go...My good friend Christy is opening her own shop and will be carrying a line of cool jewelry by yours truly!! Check it out!
www.shopghia.com

I can't be Stuck!

As much as I would like to be in Texas right now, I am sitting in Lexington, TN with my little orange VW bug. I was so proud to finally own the car of my dreams, but here I sit with the cold (hot actually, that's why we're like this) hard facts. My bug can't hack road trips any more. We have to get hauled back to Nashville. Little Naartjie got overheated and began to ruin her own engine! So it's a rebuild for us. In the mean time, I am bummed that I can't do my road trip. It was going to be Longview, Austin, Longview, Houston, Dallas and home. The whirlwind tour. I have a niece to meet and family to see. I can't be stuck!!!

Muh muh muh moovin'!

Hey folks and friends, we are packing up our stuff and moving to, not Bever-lee, but a few streets over. After this Friday, pending an inspection Matt, Freckles and I will be moving to a house. A house of our very own! The apartment life is losing it's savor as the days inch closer to our inspection date. I was having a bout of the pre-buyers remorse until I got a phone call from our evil apartment manager who informed us that the dog that we have had for a year is violation of our lease (along with the 8 other people in our 12 unit building who have pets and have had pets since we moved here 2 years ago) and she'll have to go... What's the deal with the crack down?! I think my dear dog is worth losing my deposit over, don't you? She ain't leavin'!!! We'll send out our new addy as soon as we know it's all final, which should be in a week or so.

As for this little blog for fam. and friends, I'm going to be transferring it over to a different format and getting rid of the whole MS FrontPage craziness that doesn't work for people with Macs. So we might drop off the planet for awhile, but we'll be back soon. I'll be blogging on my summer adventures and putting up photos. For those of you who don't know, it is an emerging plan to travel over the US this summer, singing (although not a formal tour) seeing friends and babies of friends that have been born while I've been away, camping with Freckles my girl-dog, driving down the coast of California and retracing route 66. That's the plan so far. Not sure what will happen after that, nor are all these plans fixed in stone. Life changes and our needs change with them, but this is the tentative plan. So if you have a couch for me to sleep on, I'd love to visit. June 1 is the kickoff day. Check out our photo page for a picture of my choice of transportation!!! Her name is Naartje (pronounced Narchie)

Upon our Anniversary

3 years. Can you believe it?! I can't some days. I had an interesting conversation with a friend about marriage and whether it is really the be all, end all for singletons. I used to think so, but 3 years in, I gotta tell ya, that is a bunch of Hollywood bunk!! Not that Matt isn't fabulous and it's nice to have him around, but he didn't complete me. In fact marriage is more like holding a mirror up to yourself in bright daylight with no holds barred about your defects, oh and you're naked. I used to laugh and tell my friends, "Wanna find out what a bitch you are? Get married." It's true. It'll bring out the very worst of you. It'll bring out the best in you too. Yet most of us know our own strengths, but have heretofore been less that willing to face any defects. For example: I'm one hell of a perfectionist coupled with a huge sense of being "less than everyone else"- translation? I never try anything too new or scary for fear of failure. I'm a bit of a nag, a horrible housekeeper, I kick at night, don't like to share, always want the last serving of ice-cream, I want my own way almost all the time and HATE HATE HATE losing an argument. How's that for hard to live with?! The list goes on, by the way. That's just a taste. But here we are 3 years later and actually happy. A friend once said, concerning couples therapy, "Go early and often." We took that advice and I had a moment of seeing progress in us the other day. We were with our realtor and Matt and I were goofing off. I called him a name like "dork" or some such thing. He said, "Please don't call me names, honey" and I said I was sorry. I didn't thing anything of it, but our realtor (married with 2 kids) said "Wow. You two give me hope." I never thought our marriage would give anyone hope. I mean there have been times when I can't stand Matt and I am certain he can't stand me either. I can't even stand me in those moments! Anyway, here's to our couples therapist and all the other friends and family members who have helped us get this far! We couldn't have done it without you all. Thank you!

Home again Home again..jiggity jog!

We survived the craziness of the holidays and are home safe!! Matt and I drove to Longview, TX (9 hrs) for the biennial trip home for Christmas and brought home with us a bouncing new (new to use) pump organ. It was my Grampa's and I inherited it from him. Not that he's not around any more, he just downsized and had no room for such a huge thing. It is actually much smaller than I remember, but then, I was shorter back then. A u-haul trailer and a very clever husband were instrumental in bringing it home. I am not the best at driving a trailer, but those old Best Buy skills came in handy for him. Anyhoo. We are home safe and it was a good trip. I have lots of photos to post on flikr. Ah, how I long for internet back at the house!! Merry Holidays to all!!

Merry Christmas to all...and to all some eggnog!

I know you like our new page for Christmas!! We are sending out all of our E cards for the holidays to all of our friends far and wide in the world, but the people who live in town get English toffee...It's so not a fair world. Matt and I are doing great this year, along with Freckles who came home to live with me again this May. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Freckles Saga, I (Ariana) moved to Nashville in 2000 and was living with my aunt and uncle in Hendersonville (the country! but still "Nashville") and this little freckly dog showed up in the yard to play with their dogs. Her owner never claimed her and I didn't want her to go to the pound so I became a dog mom. Weird, I know, because I am not a dog person. But I am a Freckles kind of person. So many years and travels with both country and apartment living and what was intended to be a brief stint at my parent's house in Texas that turned into YEARS, (I am so fired from being a dog mom) she has come home and lives quite happily in her hugemongous crate that we call her "house" and that takes up half of our kitchen. If we could use it as a table it would be bigger than our current one. She had her 7th birthday, along with my 30th. It was quite the shin dig.
Matt and my friend Christy planned and pulled off a huge party with a live band (talented friends playing) along with dancing, food and what else, a pinata (sorry Spanish speakers. my computer no make that nnya thing)
Many of you didn't know, but Matt and I were separated last Christmas for reasons that we have discussed at length with our therapists. I didn't even write about it here. There would have been too many questions to field. But we are happy (most of the time! I mean come on...it's marriage, not a walk in the park) and are really enjoying celebrating this year together. We decorated our little East Nashville apartment with lights and hung our stockings on the bookshelf...I think we might skip the tree this year.
So a very Merry Christmas to you all and a Happy New Year!!

Labor Day and Ernesto to boot!

Well, another year off to Southport, NC and now it's home again, home again jiggity jog. We flew into the airport at Raleigh and had to wait 3 hours for my bag to get off the plane. Matt carried on and he had his with him. There was supposedly lightning on the tarmac and they wouldn't let anyone out there to take the luggage off. Then it rained for the next 2 days and the power went out! Good thing it didn't last all the time we were there. Ernesto blew through and left the next day a bright and sunny but with wild waves. We rented mopeds for the day and drove all over Oak Island, but swimming was not an option unless we wanted to find ourselves halfway out to England. The next day we rented the mopeds again and had a grand swim in the ocean. It was lovely. Matt's dad and step-mom put us up at their lake house and we played board games every night and watched movies. Anyway, it's home again for us and to our surprise we found that it had turned Autumn while we were gone! It's been lovely ever since.

Farwell to Marina Street

Matt and I had picked out a house to buy that needed a little t.l.c. and were all set to make an offer when it was snatched away from us by some big corporation that had cash to lay down before we did. We are pretty annoyed and a little heartbroken about the whole business and I have to say that I had already assigned (in my head at least) what the rooms were going to be. I feel like I need to mourn the loss of this home to some wretched House Flipper who will come in, make a few repairs and jack up the price to something we could never afford. So please pray for us that the right house will still come our way.

Be vewy, vewy quiet. We is hunting houses.

It's either feast or famine with these posts, right? Matt and I are looking for a house to buy here in Nashville and it has not been going as well as we would hope. There are lots of homes for sale, but not many in our price range and not many that our bank will approve because of the type of loan we are applying for (mostly because we don't have a huge down payment) It's hard to leave it in God's hands when we are so very eager, but it'll work out as it should. For now, I want to let you know that we are moving our photos to Flickr.com very soon and I find it to be so much easier than creating photo albums and then publishing them on our site. It's so organized and fun! Look for the change over soon.

Dr. Wife says take 4 ibupropins and ICE IT

This weekend Matt tried very hard to get to Ohio to play air-soft with his team (the Gun Devils) and after a huge downpour, a busted radiator, and $700 dollars later, he got on the way. A great time was had by all, much manly grunting and tromping around the woods in Camo, shooting at people. Matt sprained his ankle (again, the same one he sprained not a month ago at another of these events) and spent the last day soaking up the cool summer weather (compared to here! 96 and 95% humidity-yuck) and getting sunburned. I got to play nurse when he got home, poor dear. Freckles and I had a quiet weekend and spent Saturday at the Tomato Art Festival with our friends Paul and Christy Nicholson. Christy has a great little shop online and she sold her crochet wares, t-shirts, and cool buttons with tomatoes on them at a booth at the Tomato Art Fest Bazaar.
I also have a little shop online too. I made designs that I think all my grubby hippie friends and family would like. Just for fun. Besides that, I've been playing here and there and working as the Nanny on the Go. I am spending today with a pile of kidos who are feeling a bit sicky and Matt is at home following Dr. Wife's instructions on how to care for a sprained ankle.

It's HOT and I'm tired and...humph

Hello fellow peoples. Not much to report from muggy, hot Nashville. The family is great, both Matt and mine too. Freckles is the cuteness. I swear! We are having fun hanging out with a few other couples that are really becoming our circle of friends. Who'da thought!! And that circle is adding babies to the mix, although we are not participating in that yet. If has come up a couple of times, but I (Ariana) am not ready for my body to not be my own any more. Plus I would like to take a couple of trips before we jump in the middle of that. That would be really nice. Greece, Hawaii. Just good ol' together trips, all romantic-y and stuff. But I guess I need to give the timing of all that over to someone bigger than me. Who knows what He has in mind. For some reason babysitting has dried up this month. I don't know if it's the summer or what! Not that we will starve or anything, but it has been a little stressful. Keep us in your prayers as we learn more and more about being good stewards of our moola.

News from the Slacker Blogstress

Oh dear! Where has the time gone!? We are still here and better than ever. We weathered some storms, but I know that a bunch of you folks were praying for us and we are beginning to see some sunshine this side of the darkness. Our photos are in the process of being transfered to Flicker.com and it will make it easier for us to share them with lots of folks. Please don't be intimidated by this! Change is good! I brought Freckles home from my parents after a several year stint of being a crappy dog parent and she is adjusting quite well to apartment living and I like it much better than the last time she was with me in an apartment thanks to the joys of crate training! No hidden bread loaves, no torn up papers, or chocolate chip puke hiding under rugs! She was the bane of my old roomie's existence. Matt and I go for dog walks and she likes that, but not the dog park. Heck, I'd be freaked out if people were freely sniffing my butt too!!! Thats all for now cats.
Love from Matt, Ariana and Freckles

Just Checking In...

Yes dear friends, we are still alive. I know. It gets out of control when we get going in life. No big news to report, but we just wanted to let you all know we are still here. I (Ariana) have been writing songs like a mad woman and who knows where that will go, but I love it. Tomorrow is Matt's 31'st birthday so call him and wish him a happy day.

A change in the wind

Well, it's a strange season. I (Ariana) have been making music and going to shows and writing a ton! So much to do, so little time. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and with it comes my brother's wedding. I might be able to shoot some video of it. I am trying to learn how to put video up on the net. So I am singing at his wedding too and I am still learning one of the songs. Get on the Ball!!!! I know!!!! I also have begun to be involved with 3 new things. The first is Girl Scouts. I am hoping to assist a troup soon of Juniors. I have not begun yet, but I will post more as it progresses. The second thing is a product of the first thing. I have begun to be involved with the neighborhood community center. I noticed how segregated our neighborhood was. We live in the big fat middle of a bunch of high minded liberals and for them not to be involved was just wrong. So I got on the list serves and gave them a big dish of guilt, in my usual funny and charming way, and I have gotten a ton of pledges for food for Thanksgiving to give to families in the neighborhood! It is only the beginning. Mwwaaahahaha. I love seeing change and I love being a part of it. The third thing is that I tried to make the whole quitting my job and just writing thing work for about a month and I realized that budget-wise and sanity wise, I just couldn't do it. I need to keep my hands busy! So I started my own business so I can do the things I love, yet still make some moola. I am a Temp Nanny! (Check out my site on the sidebar) I have about 20 clients who can book me for blocks of time and I show up, make like a babysitter and leave. No commitment, no strings. I have free time! I could work 50 hours a week if I really wanted to! My weekday times fill up fast and I love the change from day to day.
Oh and a 4th thing too!! I am back on Weight Watchers. Brutal scale told me that it was time. But this week I lost 4.2 lbs on the core plan! I am loving it!! I feel pretty happy these days. I know this post has been all me (blah blah me, me me blah, me me blah blah me) But who else do I know better than myself. More news will come. Don't worry!

Happy Autumn!

I, Ariana, have just returned from a trip home to Texas where I was subjected to my 10 year reunion. Which actually didn't turn out so bad. Saw a ton of people who I was not sure I knew, until I read the name tag and had to go back and look at their senior year photo to make the connection. Wow. You wouldn't think that 10 years makes some people unrecognizable, but it does. AND nearly everyone had kids!!! I am still kid-less. YAY! At least for now that is a yay. Someday soon, don't worry. I saw my squishy little niece for the first time and had a great time talking with Isabel (Emmanuel's soon to be wife) in Spanish. Man! I am rusty. But Fe' is just so delicious. I took pictures and they will be up under the family section soon. Got to hang out with my brother Jonathan and my other brother Emmanuel for a little bit. Sometimes it's weird being back home. I know a lot of people, but they really don't know me. It's like a crazy time warp of acquaintances who my parents have kept up on my current situation and so they know about me, but don't know me. On the way home Is took a travel voucher to get bumped to the next day's flight and went and saw Stephanie Sloane (my maid of honor) and Kris Daily who is by far the best noise maker on guitar I know! We had fun and laughed until we hurt over margaritas and crazy stories. Cats were involved. I swear! And my camera battery died just as I took one photo, so that's no good. So I get to use the travel voucher to go to NYC soon to visit some friends there. I can't wait for that. One has a new baby due and I just love babies. Other peoples babies.
Speaking of...I have been working as a temp Nanny a ton! Even put up a nanny site here so people can hire me, just until I find a full time job, not that keeping' these kids ain't full time. IT IS!! But I am still sending out resumes like mad, but doing shows and writing too. Ah, yes, it's a full life.
Matt has been doing really well at work, has gotten 2 awards of excellence on of which came with a cash award. Can't beat that!! He is very pumped about all that. About time too. He freakin' ROCKS at his job. He has been hanging with two new guy friends a lot and it inice because they are married and I like hanging out with their wives. He is taking me to a Predators (the Nashville Hockey Team) game tonight! Wooo Hoo! Hot date! Just kidding. It should be lots of fun.
The weather is finally turning and it is so cool and beautiful, no ugly gray days for weeks on end. Today was a beautiful 64 degrees F. with Sun and a slight wind. The perfect Fall day. Happy Autumn!!!

Gripe, Gripe, Gripe...all the time (10 year reunion coming)

Where, oh, where to begin...So this coming weekend I am going home and it looks like it will be alone. The dreaded 10 year reunion. And no moral support! Matt is suddenly on call and we already bought tickets. This SUCKS! A dinner, a picnic, a football game...all with the people who made my life hell while I was ages 14-18. What made me think that I needed to endue this self torture, and alone!! I guess it will be good to see how everyone turned out, if just for curiosity's sake. I hope they all have a zillion kids and got fat...ok, not the nice people...I don't hope that for them.
So here is the recap for me. I quit my job at the end of August to go back to writing and had a wonderfully productive month of many new songs which are being currently polished and exhibited for the first time in public at a couple of shows that I have been doing these last weeks. Let me just say that a gal cannot write all day and thought it would be nice to stay home and do this, the money issue has stuck its ugly little head up again. So it is off to work I go again, hi ho, hi ho. Sigh ho is more like. I am opting for the 'not nanny' job this time around. It always gets toooooo sticky when I take a full time, although the temp to hire stuff gets old because there is no regularity to the work. So it becomes the lesser of two weevils...I mean evils. So the 'not nanny' job, for now, means schlepping it to the Temp agency office to sit through computer testing on crazy old crap computers and why I am being tested for my knowledge of Excel and Word 97 on a computer that cannot even show graphics correctly beats the ever lovin' heck out of me! I was failing parts because the test didn't work right! How very wrong is that. Anyway. We have finally bought paint for the house and I really should take 'before' pictures so you all understand the hideousness of cream walls and BROWN trim. Oh yeah baby! Who ever thought this would be a cool fashion statement in the 80's was not a forward thinking chap, you know? I am still knitting away and there will be many projects posted AFTER Christmas because honestly, I don't know who looks at this and I wouldn't want them to see their gift, sitting there in black and white, or cream and blue as the case may be. I also asked about work in a knit shop. I know!!! Like crack for an addict!!! But maybe I'll get my 'crack' for free now, or at least employee rates... Just weekend stuff and not so bad. I would love it. SO enough about me...
Matt has been doing really well at his job and hanging out with friends lately, playing a lot of Disk Golf. There was even a day trip to Kentucky in there to test out some new courses. The Stargate series on SciFi, our Friday night fun, is having a mid season break so he is finding other things to do on Fridays, like roll playing games with some of the guys. (Don't ask me, I can't play, my brain falls out from all the math) We are talking about when it would be feasible for him to go back to school for piloting and if all goes well it could be as early as next fall!!
So Autumn is finally here and someone decorated the courtyard with ghosts and stuff. Too cute. The building is really becoming beautiful again and they are finally finishing all the work for our apartment. It is like pulling teeth around here though. They still have not fixed our bathtub, leaky tiles and liner...etc. I think they just like to paint over problems and not worry about them until they fall out of the ceiling!!! Oh well. It still is beautiful, crappy maintenance and all.
So on a final note for this post, there are two weddings in out near future. My youngest brother Emmanuel is tying the knot with his girlfriend on November the 26th. They have a little girl Fe', who there are cute, cute photos of on this site and hopefully more to come after I get to see her and she's not all purple from being born. The second wedding is Matt's sister Laura who is marrying Jessie. The wedding will be in Maine so we can't go, but I'm sure it will be beautiful.

Blurb

Well...the month sure got away from me!! We had a trip to North Carolina to see Matt's dad, we participated in a netball tournament at the last minute for the Nashville Kangaroos Netball Club and it was a blast!! We didn't get to see much of the Aussie Festival where it was, but, alas. Actually there is a lot more going on with us, but I wanted to post so you could see the recent photos. I'll post again soon.

Lost bits and bobs

Well, I am still recovering from my tonsillectomy and I can't wait for it to be all healed up. I have been knitting and knitting and we are settling quite well into the new aspects of life. Matt and I are well and happy and love where we live. I am going in to interview today for the onsite apartment management position that would give us a big break in rent. Matt is liking his new job and is still at his old job, but just as a placemarker until the new guy can be hired. He can even check into the system from home!!! That is all he has to do. And he gets paid for it!! I wish I could make a cool $500.00 a month by getting up in the morning, logging into a system and logging out. Ah the unfairness of the computer geekery world. But his real job is going great and we send each other IM's throughout the day.
On another great note. It is wonderful to see that God is still taking care of us in ways we can't even imagine. I went in for my surgery and the insurance was a mess and it turned out that our old insurance through the State of TN covered my surgery, even though we had new insurance through Web MD. It was covered 100%!!! If we had gone through the new insurance, it would have been a hefty $400.00. As it was, it cost us nothing. It was long overdue and a big blessing that we could get this done at no cost to us and that I wouldn't miss much work. (All of the families I work for are on vacation!) It is the little things that amaze me.

You are almost here!!!!

So much news!! We are on the brink, the very brink of becoming aunt and uncle again. My (Ariana's) baby brother, Emmanuel and his girlfriend Isabelle are in the hospital as I write having a little girl named Fe (Spanish for Faith). I am so excited!! I have been knitting a little stuffed bunny for her to hold and I hoped to get it there before she arrived, but she is early. Just a week. It is merciful for poor Isabelle who is TINY! I don't even think she is 5 feet tall. She looks like she has been carrying around a beach ball in her shirt. I think she might have exploded had Fe not arrived. On another note, I had my tonsils out this week and have been doped up for DAYS! I didn't hallucinate this time though. Just crazy, crazy dreams from which I could not wake because I was too drugged. Matt finally had to pray over me because I was waking up so panicked and scared from my nightmares. Then all my dreams turned into sitcoms. Which is less scary, but almost as bad. You know those ridiculous situations they are always in and if one person would speak up, or do the right thing, then it would all be over...yeah. Very annoying. So at the end of all this, I will be tonsil free and so very ready to go back to singing again. Look out world!!

A new neighborhood, a new place...mmmm

Happy 4th!! We have been moving, AGAIN!! I know, I know. But this time we think we finally found the spot. Even our first night in the new place, we both turned to each other and said, This already feels like home. Our building is the Belvedere Building and it holds 12 little flats with 2 bedrooms each. Ours is by far the coolest! But we are biased. It has a courtyard with year round sparkly lights in the trees, tall ceilings, dark wood floors, sunlight and views galore. We can't wait to fill it up with furniture!!! Which reminds me. We are saving up for a couch since the old blue faithful denim couch would not make the turn into the living room or any other room for that matter. It was dragged away and unceremoniously dumped in the basement by the maintenance guys. Alas, poor Blue, I knew him well. Soon we will begin painting and it will be so home-like we will never ever ever leave!!! Who needs to buy a house when you have this place!!? I know. I will eat my words someday.
Anyway, we spent the 4th in the park right across the street from our building, watching the downtown fireworks. They are not as impressive as when the are vibrating your internal organs, but I am rather fond of my eardrums, so we chose a less hearing damaging location this year. But we had friends from church join us on our blankets and camp chairs and it was fun. Just 2 more weeks until me tonsils have to come out and after the ER visits last month, I will be glad for it. The first visit was just precautionary because I didn't want to end up with another peri-tonsilar abscess again. (If you don't know what that is, don't ask. Totally GROSS!) But by 1 am the next morning I was dehydrated, couldn't breathe, couldn't swallow, couldn't keep anything down...Matt took me back and we were there all night and with all the tests they did and drugs they cranked into my poor bod, a nearly $3000.00 ER bill after they were done. (Thank heavens for insurance and $50 Co-Pays!!!) So then they gave me pain meds because my tonsils were still so large and I hallucinated for the next 4 days!! Apparently I don't do well on Codine of any kind. (Neither does my Mama. She talks to little green men and has conversations with people who aren't there...same as me) So it's off to have the boogers taken out and 2 more weeks of recovering and pain meds that make me feel like I am wearing a wet blanket. Oh Joy. But at least we are all moved and everything will work out with my work schedule and all. I am very excited to get on with my tonsil free life. By the way, our new address is posted. Please make a note of it!! And Please come and see us!! REALLY, WE MEAN IT!!

Life and Times

Where shall I begin?! I finally got the site up and done and posted and etc etc etc...It took an age!! We saw Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy and loved it. Not exactly like the book but fun and funny anyway. The guy who plays 'Zaphod' is 'Guy' from Galaxy quest. We had a good laugh over that. Well, it's nearly official. We have selected a new apartment (STAY PUT, WOULD YA??) I can just hear you saying that. Don't worry. Our current address and contact info will always be posted here. We can't ever escape! AAARRRRGGG!!! Not even if we wanted to. There are all kinds of photos up now, after over a year of none but the sad ole Matt and Ariana one. It's like a deluge! We have a digital camera and you will probably see photos that you might think to yourself, "why didn't they delete this??" But here you are, stuck with us. I can't quite give up the film yet, so there will always be those artsy photos in the big middle of it all. Perhaps this is my answer to why I was always so CRAP at scrap-booking. I just needed to find my medium. Because really, after I am gone, who is going to look at all that cutesy paper and think, "Wow." I just can't justify it! (They will more than likely be pitched by our children who will by then be good and sick of having a packrat for a mom, because I am sure to drive them crazy with it!!) Perhaps I am just cheap. Perhaps I just don't have the attention span for it. Who knows. So the news is we found a lovely 2 bedroom for only $525 with windows galore and lots of space for all the aforementioned junk-fest that I have going on. Honestly, I just need some shelves, if I could just have some shelves. Bookcases actually. It is in an old apartment building built in 1906, with a fallout shelter in the back! Who knows if we will need that, but it can't hurt to be prepared. We are hoping to look at it one last time next week before we lay our moo-la on the line, but I am pretty sure that its a keeper.

One year down...more to go

Matt and I have celebrated our 1st Anniversary!!! We went camping for the weekend at Mammoth Cave park and our weekend was much like the first year of marriage can be...full of trials. It rained and rained and rained, our camping mats popped, we couldn't get a fire going, the lovely spring weather turned to nearly snow, but we weathered it and learned a few lessons about camping, ourselves and token operated showers. We nearly gave up, but after a fairly strenuous 4 hour cave tour, we emerged to bright sunny spring weather and decided to stay. A trip to Wally World and we were set to weather another night in the tent. We came home and had to put all of our clothes in trash bags to launder because they smelled so strongly of burning wood. But all's well that ends well. We came home and cooked all the food we had not been able to in woods due to weather and after a 2 hour nap had a lovely Anniversary dinner at home followed by an early bed time. Campin' sure can take it out of ya! So we made it. Hooray!
On another note, a year of marriage has done crazy things to my waistline and I am back on the Weight Watchers plan. I will be posting my progress with photos on a new part of this site, coming soon.

Family Wedding!!

We've just returned from Mari-Carmen's (Ariana's younger sister) wedding and can you believe it, we drove to Texas and home!! What were we thinking. Actually, Ariana had some clearing out to do at her Mama and Papa's house,(old dolls and books and random boxes of clothing from college) and we needed the trunk room to get it all home. Now if we could just get it put away! The wedding was so beautiful, as was my sister and Matt and I helped and stayed up late getting things ready. I think I still smell of LAVENDER! Or at least my underwear drawer will for awhile with all the little packets I took home. Our drive was made very enjoyable by a wonderful book on tape called "THE 13 GUN SALUTE" By the late Patrick O'Brian. Part of a wonderful series that has been made into a film called "Master and Commander." All the swashing and buckleing a person could want!! It was so great to see family and catch up on everything. My oldest sister Shiloh has added a third to her brood, Josiah and he is a cutie. It was the first time I had seen him in person. Caleb and Faith, her other children are so talkative and have personality practically coming out of their ears!! Check out the pictures!

Happy New Year and Valentines Day...all of them later than usual. Matt and I are nearly a month into each of our new jobs and with new jobs come new stresses, but also benefits. We decided to up and move to a bigger place on the other side of town, leaving behind our old haunts in the 12th South district. Cant say that we are terribly thrilled about having to drive to our old coffee shops rather than walk, but you pay a price for 2 bedrooms...literally. Have a peak at our contact page for our new address. Now we have room for guests!!
Matt is coming up soon on his 30th birthday with a mixture of excitement and dread. Though Doc Brown thought 30 years was a nice round number...Matt is not in that camp. I still think he is fabulous and I am sure that wont change with age. (His SUPRISE PARTY went off without a hitch!! Check it out!)
So we have been exploring east Nashville and quite a few of our friends live over here, making it easier to be social. I guess there is nothing like your first place together though and so we miss it.

Happy Christmas to all!

Christmas is so weird with a husband. I got to have a room all to myself in my parents house rather than kipping on the couch. It was interesting. I thought to myself, I am sleeping with a boy! And my parents know!! B-Zar. At best. Well, a Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. See you next year!