Monday, June 02, 2008

News you can Yews

This is a yew branch and has nothing to do with this post.

Summer is heating up and I am so glad to have a little time with no 'work', none that I get paid for anyway. My nephew is coming up to visit for 2 weeks (he's 11 years old) and then we both go to Texas to go to the same camp that I've been attending since the age of 6. We have lots of adventures planned for our time together, including another brave attempt at the Harpeth. I might bring someone bigger and stronger than me this time, if he agrees to it.

Working at the Creamery has been an adventure. Oddly enough I am not overwhelmed by cravings of ice-cream. The trick is to be lactose intolerant and to know the impending intestinal havoc that will follow if I give in. That being said, I'm a huge fan of the Trailer Trash 2.0. Trailer Trash is the owner's handmade vanilla ice-cream with every added chocolate candy bar you can think of. Trailer Trash 2.0 is that, but in her amazing Chocolate ice-cream. I gave in a little bit. Not overboard. Still paid for it in the end (pun intended tee hee!)

I am officially in my 2nd trimester and so far am just as tired as I was before. So much for that wave of energy I was supposed to get. I wonder it it has anything to do with working 2 jobs and swimming 3 days a week....nah. The first signs are there. I wore a skirt, that had been quite comfortable about a month ago, to work last week and ended up having to unbutton, unzip and pull my shirt down far so no one could tell. I just tucked in the flapping button ends and went on! I have still not learned totally that this is not a time to pretend like I am my old self. There is some pressure to continue with my old way of operating, but when I do act like I have all the energy and strength in the world, it catches up with me and I'm in the bed with a headache for the whole next day. I'm a smidge hard headed. What can I say.

The best news is that we are using our economic incentive to fix the bug, so the geek can have his own car (and space) back and I'll be cruisin' in my sweet tangerine super beetle! Just in time for escalating gas prices! Wow, ain't we lucky.

Thats all for now folks.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Police Mopeds - exception to the rule!

I spotted this on my way to work and had to pull over, stand in the street during morning rush hour and take a picture. It looked like some nerd version of a biker gang, but then I realized they were Police mopeds AND they were parked illegally. (See the 'no parking to corner' sign that they are ALL on the wrong side of?) Hilarious!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Near drownings on the Harpeth!

OK. So the title was for shock value. I went canoing on the Harpeth River this last week with my friend and her 4 kids (age 10-4) and we had a few tip overs, but all it all it was fun and no one drowned. The geek and I planed to go again on Monday, but we woke up to storms. Boo. Happy Memorial Day all! I am thinking of my little brother who is still in Marine training out in California. He's bound to be shipped off soon and I hope I don't have to remember him on Memorial Day, just Veterans day.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

electric skin

Everything is irritating me today, even the clothes I have on! I suppose this is just another one of those mysterious side effects of being pregnant, but I do not like it! It makes everything green (this is the color I've always associated with prickly feelings on my skin - like when I'd wake up in the night with a dead hand from sleeping on it.)

Monday, May 19, 2008

I am wiggly

i am: wiggly
i think: like I am in a fog – thanks little one!
i know: I am loved, but don’t always remember. (kinda like times tables)
i want: to go get in the pool
i have: work to do, but don’t remember to do
i wish: i had no more debt and didn’t have to worry about bills.
i hate: the smell of humanity, the unwashed version.
i miss: being able to work harder
i fear: being left alone forever
i feel: physically refreshed, but mentally tired. I also feel content and happy
i hear: the white noise of the office AC unit
i smell: cubicles
i crave: sunshine
i search: for my water bottles, I have three and still they elude me
i wonder: what my baby’s face will look like
i regret: not being a better friend over the years
i love: so much it hurts sometimes
i ache: because my blood pressure is a little elevated today
i care: about my neighborhood
i always: loud
i am not: shy anymore
i believe: that Jesus is the best thing that happened to this world
i dance: to Sixpence when I wash dishes and to Jazzy favorites with children
i sing: without knowing I am
i don't always: pick my clothes up off the bathroom floor
i fight: to protect the helpless and innocent and for the ones I love
i write: because I cannot help but write. It comes out on whatever is handy
i win: radio station drawings for uncool prizes and become ineligible for the cool ones 2 days later!
i lose: my keys
i never: have returned to my birth country
i confuse: others around me, at work apparently.
i listen: to the sound of summer
i can usually be found: never in the same place for longer than a few hours
i am scared: sharks, for no good reason. I wish I could stop being scared.
i need: time, affection and attention (not the bad kind)
i am happy about: the bean being as big as a fig and the geek coming back from ‘Man Camp’ excited!

you?

Monday, May 12, 2008

First Mother's Day!

Sunday morning I woke to a sweet 'Happy Mother's Day' from the geek, who then rolled out of bed to make me bacon and eggs - except we were out of bacon AND eggs. So cereal...out of milk. This whole making breakfast for me for Mother's day was starting to look grim, but then, I remembered the $20 in tips I got from the ice-cream shop the night before! We quickly dressed and headed to Noshville (our favorite Sunday morning restaurant) for ham and eggs and griddle cakes! We didn't get to sit at the bar with Linda (our favorite waitress) but it was good all the same and we enjoyed the food immensely (until I ate the silver dollar potato latkes, which were fried, but I've never had trouble with them before - guess babe doesn't like grease in the tummy)plus I got a little corsage to wear! Happy Mom's day to all you moms and moms to be!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Remembering the light - Dawn at Miami Beach

It’s dawn on Miami Beach. The sun is rising without much pomp or circumstance, much as it does every day around here. The sand, still littered with last night’s seaweed from high tide and last night’s trash from high life, stands nearly empty of people, cool under my feet in the gray light.

There is an older woman, stocky and large of bosom, dressed in what must only be called a bathing ‘costume’, for she wears what appears to be a shapeless green and blue dress, thick black stockings, and a turban. Her movements are awkward in the shifting sand close to the constant rhythm of the waves. She sits down at the water’s edge and is surprised by a larger wave, a herald of the high tide that is coming.

Aside from the seagulls, there is one other person, a young guy, dressed in a black tank top with close cropped hair, who keeps, like me, taking snapshots of the horizon and gazing back at the boardwalk as if waiting for someone.

The night still hides in the hollows of all of yesterday’s footprints, purple and fighting the dawn, while the crests of the hollows become tinged with orange. The sky is painted the same color, as the sun plays coy for a few moments. At the horizon the clouds make cities with peak and towers against a blood red sky. In a moment, the blaze of the sun peeks over the edge and in a moment more, it sends its light in a fiery band across the waves to me, here with crossed legs and squinted eyes, trying to capture the beauty of something so mundane, but so exquisite.

How many sunrises must the world have seen by now, yet each one seems miraculous in and of itself, as if, in our hearts, we forget what the day is in the dark hours. But soon the dark will have nowhere to hide, not even in the hollows of footprints, as the sun makes it’s daily sojourn to the top of the dome of heaven.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Way to deal with the BIG issues...

This was my letter to the editor of the Nashville Scene:

"In the face of city-wide hearings to possibly cut multiple bus routes and limit AccessRide (disability services with MTA ), and with MTA facing a budget shortfall of over 2 million dollars due to the price of fuel, I pick up a copy of the scene to fine the riveting headline story of...a Burger Contest?

Come ON! How is this news? Maybe the Scene got big advertising bucks for this story, or some food critic got to eat burgers at a ton of cushy joints, but with gas prices rising this summer and the city in DESPERATE need of a greener and cheaper alternative to everyone driving individual cars, one would think that the Scene, usually the champion of the these 'big bad city plans to screw the little guy' type of articles, would pick up on this. No, it’s not the typical Scene reader that will be affected by these cuts, but it should be. What better way to encourage all of those environmentally concerned, carbon footprint reducing readers to help both the city’s growing smog and transportation issues than to make an appeal to the readers to show up at those hearings, make their opinion know, perhaps get ON the bus themselves and see what they can do for their city.

If that’s of no concern to you, how about the City council’s plans to close the only public pool in the Cleveland Park neighborhood that sits between Dickerson and Ellington Pkwy? Plus the removal of the ONE bus route that could actually bus the children of the neighborhood to the closest pool (East Park), the # 30 line, which is on the docket to be cut. Hmm. These issues seem way more important than whose burger tastes the best and which of your employees got to clog their arteries by feasting on ground beef. How about paying a little attention and not sitting silently by while the city’s children, disabled and people of lower socioeconomic status get the shaft?"

OOOOooo. It burns me up sometimes! If you have an opinion, please attend these public hearings:

*NOTICE OF PUBLIC HEARING*

The Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA) will be holding four Public
Hearings on the following issues:

* Fare adjustment for MTA regular and AccessRide services. The
Metropolitan Transit Authority is currently considering five possible
scenarios for fare adjustment ranging from a 5 cent to 25 cent increase to
the base fare as well as associated increases in other fare media and
passes.

*Possible removal or reduction of some or all of the following routes:

· Route 13 – Sylvan Park

· Route 31X – Harpeth Valley Express

· Route 1 – Vine Hill

· Route 45X – Oak Hill Express

· Route 16 – Madison – Old Hickory

· Route 30 – McFerrin

· Route 37X – Tusculum Express

· Route 8 – 8th Ave. South

· Route 41X – Golden Valley

· Route 18 – Airport Express – Elm Hill Pike

· Route 2 - Belmont

* Possible reductions in service on all MTA routes, including the
elimination of night service, Saturday, Sunday, and Holiday service, as well
as the Night Owl service.

* Possible reduction of the ADA AccessRide service to areas within 1.5
miles of regular service routes.

The public hearings will occur at:

6:00 PM, Monday, May 5th, 2008 at the Rochelle Center – Building-A
Conference Room, located at 1020 Southside Ct.

12:00 (noon), Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 at the Downtown Library,
Conference Center, located at 615 Church Street.

5:30 PM, Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 at the Downtown Library, Conference
Center, located at 615 Church Street.

6:00 PM, Thursday, May 8th, 2008 at the Madison Branch Library,
located at 610 Gallatin Pike.

* *

Additional meetings may be held and will be announced at a later date.

* *

Please note that attendance at these meetings is not required for comment.
You may also mail your comments to MTA Planning Department, attn: Public
Hearing Comments, 130 Nestor St., Nashville, TN 37210, or fax your comments
to 862-6208, or email them to mta.publichearings@nashville.gov. Comments
will be received until May 14th, 2008.

For ADA accessibility information contact:
ADA Coordinator
130 Nestor Street
Nashville, TN 37210
(615) 862-5950

Monday, April 28, 2008

Family, with all the fixin's

Growing up I heard about families that had lost touch with each other, that didn't talk anymore, or had huge rifts that could not be overcome and I listened in wonder and in my innocence, thought 'my family will never be like that.' Oh how I was wrong. As I get older (and I'm not so old) things just get more and more convoluted. Brothers and sisters go out into the world and depart from the vein of living they learned at the family home. Some stay on that path, but others for whatever reason, follow a different path. Yet we are all still connected by an invisible thread of blood-bond that cannot be broken and the actions of one, for the good or bad, effect the family unit. Not that we all go down with the ship if one decides to destroy himself/herself, but that tug on our hearts is there, no matter how we try to sever it.

Today I am sad about that kind of situation in my family. I have given up my old ways of trying to mend all the fences and now I strive to just let go and let someone bigger take it from my hands, but that thread tugs at my heart and it hurts, more than I want it to. It's a relief that it's not my job to make sure all the people in my family turn out safe, happy, and whole, but I can't help the sorrow I feel as I watch them go through the hard parts. It reminds me, even more, to cherish the relationships that I have, to love well, to be honest, own my part, ask for forgiveness when I am wrong, and in the end, to let go of the result.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Musician's Life tip #1005 - Not for GUYS!

Wisdom often comes from experience, so let me share a little life tip with y'all.

It is generally a bad plan to wear a lace bra under a t-shirt. Although the desired effect may be to look good in your clothes and to know you are wearing something pretty for either yourself or the hubby, it generally ends up looking as if you have stored 2 large balls of cottage cheese under your shirt, rather than boobs.
Not a good look.

Brave New World

My Papa (Dad) has a facebook page! What?!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

What dog-moms have know all along.

Found this on the discovery channel website tonight. A universal 'duh' was heard by all dog owners.


"April 22, 2008 -- The emotion conveyed by a dog's bark often seems obvious to its human companions, but new research shows just how clear the message can be -- at least, to other dogs..."

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Spring flowers bring...less time blogging

Have you noticed how B-E-A-utiful it is outside? If not, close this browser page RIGHT NOW and run out of doors. I don't care if you are in a 100 story office building, people!! GO OUTSIDE!

Friday, April 18, 2008

I just thought someone was stomping around!

I woke up at about 4:44 last night and the room was shaking. I thought it was the Geek, stomping around downstairs and a sign that our house did really have some structural issues. Nope. It was an earthquake. In Nashville. I didn't know that could happen!

According to this little blurb in the Tennessean, here's the skinny"

"9:40 a.m.

State transportation officials are checking bridges across Tennessee for possible damage from the 5.4-magnitude earthquake that shook the area overnight.

The Tennessee Department of Transportation has crews out in West Tennessee doing visual inspections, in particular focusing on crossings over the Mississippi and Tennessee rivers, says Julie Oaks, spokeswoman for the state highways agency.

In Middle Tennessee, crews are making visual checks in the northern counties as far east as Cumberland County.

Oaks said the department doesn't expect to find any damage. "But as a precaution, we are checking."

- JENNY UPCHURCH"

Other links here and here

UPDATE! - as I was posting this @ 10:16 am, I felt another little tiny aftershock. Weird!!


Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Just to make you laugh

humorous pictures
see more crazy cat pics

Slow down...you'll get there quicker, or at least you'll get there

Yesterday we did the double birthday bash for friends. The first was a trip to the Sounds game, Nashville's own minor league team, for a neighborhood friend's big 3-0. We got minorly trounced at 4-1, the 1 coming at the end, when we sort of rolled our eyes at how the bases could have been loaded and caught us up! Sheesh. It was over the fence! The geek and I consumed green hamburgers, jumbo dogs and nachos so salty they made my mouth dry up! It was very fun. The camaraderie was the best part of all!

Then it was on the the next party, which was a bash for our pastor at the Rutledge. Live music, hot wings, cheese, fruit and two giant cakes with golf balls (made of icing) on them. We enjoyed music by Trigger Code and more - MC'd by Mojo, formerly of the O.C. Supertones.

While we had a great time and got to wish fabulous people a happy birthday, I found that in the second party, a rock show and outrageous birthday blowout by all accounts, I missed the intimacy and connection that I have so come to crave. I notice that craving is stretching to other parts of my life. It's easy to post here and know that you all will read it, and I don't have to make phone calls to tell you news or cool story to make you laugh, but while it's a great method of getting the news out, it's a sterile method of friendship. I haven't gone over my minutes in months! That never used to happen. We used to have to put a ban on talking or only talk at night in order to keep our phone bill out of the crazy range!

The geek and I, in passing, talked about maybe turning off the internet for awhile and getting still. It might not happen, but still, it's a reminder to me of what I value. And this blog, emails, Reuter's news, and silly cat captions don't come anywhere near the top of that list. You might hear more from me in the weeks to come as I practice being intentional with people. It's a skill I don't always come easily by. It's much more efficient to post, have a laugh, make a run by appearance at parties and then save my energy for writing or working, but it doesn't make a very good life. I am so grateful for all of you.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Sweet Hearbeat

I never thought I'd be so excited to see a blurry image of a little bean, but I was. After a weekend of worry and things that had us wondering if this was the end of the pregnancy, the geek and I went in for my first ultrasound. I'll spare you the details of gowns and wands, but when I saw that little tiny baby, with it's heartbeat winking fast,a little head with a little eye. Wow. I am overjoyed that it's still there!!! To the average observer, this is not a picture of much, but to me, and to it's Papa, it's beautiful! We are beside ourselves! The geek is taking photos to work! (not of the procedure. Ick.) He said this was the first time he really connected with the idea in actuality. I couldn't decide which was more fun to watch, the screen where our little baby was making it's first appearance, or the Geek, who was grinning like a kid! So here's it's (we don't want to say he/she until we know) world debut!

The Bean
Closeup!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Leigh and Matt - Making sweet music again!

This may be old news to everyone else, but WOW! Leigh Nash announced it on her Myspace blog and the world quietly turned on it's ear. I didn't know how much this space was lacking in my musical heart. I've missed the bold words, the stunning melodies, clear voice, and inspiring guitar riffs that make up this incredible band up. If you don't know Leigh Nash and Matt Slocum, maybe you'll recognize the name of their old band, now back together. Six Pence Non the Richer. (their site is slightly out of date, so check out other sources) They did a rockin' show this last Sunday @ 3rd and Lindsley with other Nashville wave maker - Trent Dabbs.

Some days there is just too much great music bustling around in my head and in the world around me. I feel like I need to expand to take it all in and let it all go.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

No waiting

I was with some friends last night and they were talking about the process of waiting, which I suck at, BTW. One of the gals shared this quote:

"We don't wait for life to become perfect to begin to live it fully."

I'm not sure where she heard it, or what it was from, but brought the table to a quite moment as Peter, the other ponderer, and I scribbled that furiously in our little notebooks. I have been thinking how much I wait for "someday", when really this is the moment I am supposed to be in. My list goes like this...if only I were ____________ (thinner, smarter, richer, funnier, braver, quieter etc ad nauseum!) or if only I had ____________ (money, a new car, more of whatever)

This whole experience of having to wait for the little bean to make an appearance is strange for me. I forget it's happening and then a plate of eggs just a slight bit too runny flip my stomach over and the thought is back in my face!

Over the last few years, there have been many times where I thought I had the answer to things; that I knew just where to go and what to do, and then the reply (when I thought to slow down and ask - usually when things got out of hand) was to wait. I hate waiting. (so does Indigo Montoya, but that's another story) Actually, in hindsight, had I pushed ahead with what I thought the answer was, or SHOULD be, my life would be very different right now and I don't think for the better. There were so many things that I had to learn the hard way, just like always, and there were so many things that have been hard, but staying in them was the right answer, even though it felt painful.

The geek and I just celebrated our 4th Anniversary together last week. We went to the restaurant where we ate on our very first date (then unofficial) SATCo, if you must know. Then, as per our tradition, we found a photo booth and took silly pictures. You know, those kind all in a strip that you used to do with your friends when you were in Jr. High and you weren't too cool to roll up your tongue and make a pig nose? Yup. Those. So far we've taken one each year but our first. We didn't have the idea then. But had I done my relationship with my geek like I've done every relationship in the past, I wouldn't be in those photos with him (nor would I be gestating a little bean!). That tells me my thinking is off and to learn to love, grow, and be changed, I have to listen to people a little bit wiser than me. And wait.

So all my ducks are nowhere near a row, but here I am, living life, loving that sweet geek of mine, even when I don't like him. The reward? He comes home from work and we sit and talk for a moment, honestly, openly, without our defenses up, and from that, the roots grow a little deeper. I'm glad I'm still by your side Fozz, and you, by mine.

The all new, clumsier Me!

I have not been THIS unaware of what I am doing since Jr. High. It's risky business being me right now. So far, I've fallen off the sidewalk, re-pulled my hip flexor muscle by running to catch the bus, and this morning, I attempted to sit in my chair at the office and fell out, landing squarely into a set of file draws. I'm sure I'm going to have a huge bruise.

Sheesh.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Why...

Everything smells like vomit today. I can't get the smell out of my nose! No one threw up, and yet still...
Blech

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

5 weeks along

Since discovering I am growing my own symbiote, I decided to start a blog about it. Here's a recap of how this happened. No gory details, mind you. If you want those, go to sex ed class. This was not planned. We had been thinking about having one of these, but the thought for the last, nearly, four years has alternately scared the bejesus out of me and had me making googley eyes at newborns I see at my local coffee shop.

I had some clues that something was different, starting Friday.

First, I went TOTALLY ape-shit on a stranger for poor driving skills and basically informed her what a pathetic excuse for humanity she was and that she was an unfit mother. Hmm. Usually I just let that crap go.

Then this happened: Crying and then laughing, then crying, then raging, then crying, then laughing. Whew. I feel pretty nuts. And that was just 2 hours worth!!

Then, I thought to myself...what if I'm not just late (which never happens, by the way. I am a 28 days girl. You could set a clock by my uterus!). A quick trip to the drug store for some left over Easter candy and a few prego tests later...(which, by the way is WAY too complicated. How hard can it be to wee on a stick?! This is why they don't just give you one.)

Well, you saw the results yourself!

I've had my first wave (or 5) of nausea and I am not pleased, even though it means I am less likely to miscarry because of all the progesterone flooding my system, I hate, hate, hate nausea. I'd rather just go ahead and puke than walk around feeling like that, which, I've been informed, doesn't make it stop.

Then I remembered that gestational diabetes runs in my family. So, like a good girl, it's down the sink with all that Easter candy. Which, by the way, didn't happen. I had to have BD (my husband, the "Baby Daddy" lol) take it away from me. I had consumed most of it!

To top all of that off, my OB-GYN let me know that since I started out heavy, it's best if I LOSE weight during this pregnancy! Sheesh. How in the WORLD is that going to happen.

As for keeping it a secret, I always did suck at that, at least when it comes to surprise parties and the like and this is WAAAAAY better than that. I told all of my family (there's a lot to tell, I come from a huge family) and the BD told his. (the term BD sounds so naughty, like we aren't married. LOL!)

So now, at just 5 weeks along, when the little bean is no bigger than a piece of cous-cous, everyone knows. As for how I feel about it, I've gone through so many emotions in the last 3 days, I can hardly tell you. All in all, I am happy about it. Thinking about the future and all of the things that will change kind of makes my eyes go wide, but I know that things will iron themselves out and it's not my job to make them all go smoothly. BD is ecstatic and totally freaked out, and ecstatic. It alternates, really.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Reeling

As you can well imagine, life has been turned on it's ear. I am still reeling about this, but very happy. The geek nearly exploded with joy upon reading the result. My reaction was more like..."Yay!...Oh CRAP!"

Everything changes.

What else can I say. I've had lots of great advice about this and lots of support. The truth is, these are uncharted waters for me (us) and I am TERRIFIED at times, and OVERJOYED at other times. Perhaps that's the hormones talking, but maybe not. I am ready and SOOO not ready. Good thing I don't have to have everything figured out right now! Your support and encouragement is needed. I'm glad I've got such good friends!
One called me today, a fellow musician, and what she said so encouraged me. I know I post as "the musician" but really, I have not done anything with that gift in a long time. Just this month I was pondering and praying about that and asking for willingness to become that again. I know it's me who self sabotages and goes and hides in a hole when opportunity comes my way. Just this month I was trying to reconcile the life of a mother with the life of a musician and found it to be incompatible in my mind. Now it's like, just when I was ready to take the first step, the door closes and I'm on to a different phase of life. One that I'm not sure I'm prepared for, at all! I don't want music to be something I used to do.
My friend heard all this outpouring, in tears of course, cause I'm CRAZY hormonal, and reminded me how writers and singers we know and admire have become so much deeper and better at creating their art because they had children. Women who have kept on performing, because it is who they are! Like it tapped into something that they never knew was there. That is a comforting thought right now. Especially when I look at the plan I had all mapped out to make me into the woman I thought would be best and realize that I am not that woman, at all. But am exactly where I am supposed to be. I can't always reconcile that logic in my head, but I know it to be truth.

I am a vessel now, in more ways than one
I can't imagine what the day will bring.
But I am willing,
I am waiting,
I am wanting to be free.
I am impatient,
imperfect,
imagining a better me.
When all the time,
The one who is here,
is the one who was meant to be.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Thats the news...and now for the weather!

It's spring!! Can you believe it?! Why does this seem like such a frickin miracle every year? It's almost as if I can't believe that the trees actually have leaves and the grass is any other color but a washed out tan. I grew up WAAAAY south of here and the tease of warm weather has been playing havoc with my brain!! I am halfway ready to pack up my bags and go south for the winter. I am so very tired of being cold. I should actually be a hibernator instead of one of those creatures who is awake for the winter.

Nothing amazing to report. We did end up finding a tenant and she moves in this weekend. The geek works 40 hours a week at a job, and I only work 20, so the care of the cottage is my other part time job. If I do it right on the front end, I earn about $500/month for not doing a whole lot, aside from the occasional repair job. I'm getting quite handy these days! Yesterday I bought tin snips and made a backsplash for the stove. Who'da thought I'd be this handy. (well...I did come by it honest. Have you ever met my Mama?)

Me and Freckles were at the dog park yesterday and someone called her a "rolly polley dog." I could have killed them! How dare you call my dog fat?! I think I'm projecting. She didn't seem to mind at all. It did, however, let me know that the change in her dog food was not a good change. Back to the expensive brand!
This summer I am headed to Longview, TX to head up the music for the Day Camp I grew up attending. It's not like what it was when I was a kid. We aren't even allowed to swim in the lake any more for 'insurance reasons.' How crappy is that!?! What if we based everything we did on how much it might cost us in insurance? We might just sit at home. I can't live as if I am guarding myself from insurance risks! Bring on the lake! As long as there are no alligator snapping turtles. Have you seen those?! Yikes!! Grampa used to sit an pick them off the logs with a rifle as they came up to sun. They'd eat the feet off of the ducks, wait for the ducks to drown and then eat the ducks. I like my toes intact, thank you VERY much.  Check out this guy!! OK. I digress....

So apart from killer turtles, I can't wait for the summer. I got to write the them song for the camp! It's about telling people about Jesus. The song is called "Go Fish." I love my job.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Sometimes I forget things like zombies...and then....

Dun Dun DUUUUUUUN.

This made the geek and I crack up tonight. Especially the shambling. Never forget the shambling!!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Heartache Tycoon


I'm not the only rock star in my family.
My little brother actually lives up to that title lately. He's rocking my face off lately with his Americana Country as he seems to be really finding his groove. His newest song "Heartache Tycoon" is dripping with irony, his quirky sense of timing and humor as well as the back way he catches you with a killer lyric. It's not recorded yet, but it's gonna be great. He told me this song's been raising the roof at the local joints in Austin he plays regularly. I can believe it.

As for his style, he's more and more like a male Lucinda Williams lately but sometimes I think it's Ryan Adams and I listen harder and hear my brother's words! It's so very cool.

The reason for blogging about him is this: he called to tell me he was auditioning for Nashville Star! And he's just doing it for laughs. He has a whole fake act and costume and everything! We laughed last night that there's gonna be so much ham, people are gonna think it's Easter Sunday dinner! So if you see this tall, skinny, red-headed guy all in black with huge sunglasses, that's my brother! I gotta see when Nashville star comes on and if I can get it on the internet, since we don't have channels. In the mean time, check him out on myspace. He ROCKS! And yes, before you leave comments to this effect, I know we look A LOT alike.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

I'm not up on the skinny

As part of a quest to have more space in my brain to actually create something, I don't have TV channels. We have a box that shows a picture, but if you turn it on and flip the channels, you will get the blue screen. (not the blue screen of death. That is another matter) There is nothing there. Yet, sometimes it's good to snuggle down in a big arm chair and watch a good show. To accomplish this, we have made netflix into our cable company. We get all the series' (a year behind) and are perfectly content to watch them (a year behind) until we catch up and then have to wait another year for say..."House" to come out on netflix. For all of you who are currently rolling your eyes at my extreme uncoolness...yeah. It's never gonna change. Get used to it. I once knew a rock star that while on the road with nothing to do, spent HOURS in WAL-MART. Every day. Better than drinking, I suppose. Musicians are not cool by nature. We are nerds by nature. (that's why we need 'artist development' lol) Ask any musician (even those spandex wearing types once they sober up - drinking hides the nerd-dom). But I digress.

We watched 'The Closer' this weekend and while her thick southern accent was good, it was much like a British person doing a really good American accent. It's good enough to fool the brits, but not me. Only a native can hear the difference. And I am a native. The show was great though, so far. Kick Ace southern chick with an axe to grind and a sugar addiction? My kind of gal.

We also watched the new adventures of Horatio Hornblower (didn't know he had old adventures!) and had a chance to hear a Brit do an American accent there, amongst all swashing and buckling. (or, since they are not Pirates, but primly dressed British navy-men: Swashing and Buttoning lol) It was Swash-Buttoning adventures on the high seas! The geek apparently used to mock his little brother for watching these shows as a kid. That little brother grew up to be a bit of a genius who runs a million dollar web company now. Careful how you treat those siblings!

So there's no real point to this post except for rambling on and on about stuff that is so old news. But I liked it, so really it's new news to me!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Ooo! Ooo! Pick me!! I know the way!


I don't know the way, but I had something fun happen the other night. My neighbor and I were at our neighborhood association meeting and there was a new couple and I kept looking at the guy without trying to stare, because I could have sworn I'd met him somewhere. (awkward! He was there with his fiance'. Didn't want to look like a stalker type or like I was "checking him out"). This happens to me often, not the stalker aside, but the thinking I know someone part, and if you read my "about me" section and take a look at the people we "drag into the fray" you'll know why.

After we met our new neighbors and the guy said his name was Jett. Not from the blog "Letter to America"?! Yup. From that blog. Small world, no? I'd just been listening to his podcast a few days before about one of my favorite local eating spots "I Dream of Weenie,"and I happened upon his blog because I was looking for pictures of East Nashville covered in snow. I found his flickr photos and then eventually, his blog. Interesting take on things. He and his fiance' seem very nice and it's always good to have people who care about the hood.

As for the title, I was thinking...what a small world that I'd meet this person in real life, then I thought of the song "It's a small world after all," then that reminded me of "Welcome to Dulac" from Shrek and of course the scene where Donkey is jumping up saying...well, you know. My post title. I really AM a linear thinker, just not on the line YOU were thinking of. It's what makes me "the musician" rather than "the geek."

Baroooo?

Not sure how this works at all, but somehow a post of mine ended up here. I am so not schooled in the ways of the (blogging) world. Too bad having my post on another blog didn't mean I actually got to jam with anyone. I guess the lesson is, music does not come to me, I go to it. Same as always. Can't believe I forgot that one.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Truth Bombs

I've been hearing a buzz about a new TV show which I won't name because I don't want to promote it, but basically, people tell the truth for money and a computer tells them (and everyone else) if they are lying or not. After watching a clip on a friend's blog, I traced her links back through her friends to a church that will be doing a series based on that show.

Here are a few questions he posed:
  • Do you let your parents cause problems in your marriage?
  • What’s more important, your ego or your spouses feelings?
  • Do you seriously not know why your kids act like they do?
There were many more along the way. My question is this:
How can these questions (the ones in the church blog, as well as on the show) help a marriage unless they are asked in a safe environment? I have been a Christian since childhood and yet, still, I am broken and in need of a savior. Everyone I know (including me!) wishes they had married someone else sometimes, everyone wishes they had never had kids sometimes (I'm sure I will when I DO have them. I am quite selfish sometimes), everyone wishes they had another life sometimes. It's how we've fallen.

We aren't content with who we are and what we have because we use those things as a substitute for God. The perfect family, husband, job, boyfriend/girlfriend, figure/body, income, status will never be enough, so of course those things will let us down. If my husband knew every sick, unhealthy, or crazy thought that came into my head, it would only serve to break his heart, not promote intimacy. Is it truth with love, or a truth bomb? Both bring the facts; one heals and one destroys. This is what I think about when a thought comes into my head. I surrender the crap and try to live in the what the truth can be if I give my life and self-will over to someone bigger than myself. Maybe then, those thoughts won't serve to damage those I love, they will become testimony to grace and forgiveness in my life.

Monday, March 10, 2008

OK, for realz, yo.

First off, please know I don't talk like that. Second, I am needing a little culture in my life. I am going to be blowing my allowance this month on shows and new CD's. (Yes, I have an allowance. No, my parents don't give it to me. It's called budgeting. It's what people do who don't want to live forever in debt. Don't judge me! lol) (Man, I'm a smidge snipey today.) OK, so anyhoo. Got any great ideas for shows? I'm pretty sure I can recruit you for the cheap ones, and maybe you for the non-smoking venues. Although, I may just bypass the smoking venues after the Beyond the Edge Preds party. I coughed for 2 days! I've been feeling less like the musician and more like the admin lately. Not cool.

I talked to a friend the other day and she recommended a book for me to read to help merge the two halves of myself that seem to cancel each other out. Of course, my mind was so full of the the one canceling out the other, I forgot the title. Rats! Now she's in London.

My head is so full that I forgot to mention that it snowed. A LOT this weekend. And then melted all away by the next day. It was so pretty while it lasted. Me and Freckles went for a walk about 11pm and saw neighbors out playing in the snow. We stopped and chatted awhile. I took pictures. They should be up soon (meaning I'm a slacker and haven't done it yet.) I'll post some here, so by the time you read this, they may already be here and you'll turn your head with a distinct "baroo?" And then laugh because I'm just that spacey, but you love me. Cheers!

I wanna jam.

Anybody up for getting together and playing instruments for fun? Perhaps this week some time?

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Landlording proves harder than falling off log - film at 11

Random thoughts of the day:

- If this apartment were in New York, people would eat their own soul to live in 600 glorious square feet of lovely (with a bathroom!) for $500/month. Alas...this is Nashvegas.

-I think I should spend more time in the bathroom. It is the only room that is really heated. (no vents = had to buy space heater = hot bathroom = camping on the bathroom rug with a book)

-When the dog poop in a field alludes me, it's time to continue on my walk. (can't find it, didn't see it happen, can't pick it up!)

-Wool socks are my secret boyfriend. (I hope the geek will understand)

-I've heard of "in like a lion", but this is just downright silly! 4 inches of snow on March 8th??!!

-My brother is now officially a Marine. I wish I could have been there.

-My geek sure is cute. I've seen some un-cute geeks in my day. I got the best looking one yet!

-I wonder if my big brother is finished being mad at me yet.

-It's nice to have friends who ask the hard questions. It means they really care about me. Yay!

-If I de-clutter my house, can I keep my yarn stash?

Friday, March 07, 2008

I am so not cool - and I like it.

While waiting for the geek to finish working today, I had some time in a local bookseller to browse (ie. read articles for free). It led me to some questions...for starters, why is it called the "swimsuit edition" if they aren't really wearing bathing suites, but paint...hmmm. I digress.

I happened upon a mag called Adbusters -which I had encountered before. The cover was graced by my least favorite human, but I didn't let that get me down because it was about her NOT being cool, which made me happy. (I should probably dissect that with my therapist, but right now, I don't care, so there...read on) Its an ad free magazine, except for the spoofed ads they do. Pretty wild stuff.

The article I lit on was the one about cool, which gives a brief history of cool and how cool became corporate...then flopped.

Here's a quote from the article "The Reconquest of Cool" signed "for the wild, Kalle"

"Forty years after the corporate takeover of cool, we find ourselves again in an era of extraordinary cultural and political upheaval. Global warming has us running scared, an epidemic of mood disorders is eroding our confidence, and as the War on Terror morphs into an open-ended World War IV, we are feeling more insecure than ever.

Suddenly, people are waking up in droves from the dreamland of corporate cool. We’re realizing that ever since we were little babies crawling around the TV sets in our living rooms, we’ve been lied to, propagandized, and told incessantly, day after day, that we can find happiness through consumption. That’s why, like rats in a Skinner box, we’ve kept on pressing that BUY button – millions of us marching in lockstep, all dreaming the same consumerist dream."

The answer? I'll let you read their opinion, but I realized that I am not cool! I have not answered to the corporate call that tells me what I should look like, own, smoke, drink, listen to, wear etc. In fact, on a scale of corporate cool, I rate a very warm 1 (10 being the "coolest") I tried the cool factor. I did! I bought an ipod (shuffle) and put my favorite tunes on it (Beatles) and flew home to TX and somewhere between Nashvegas and the the triple G, I lost it on the plane! My cool lasted about 3 weeks. I couldn't really see paying for something twice that I had saved up my fun money for and had not really seen the lure of it. When I want to listen to music, I put on a CD, or an mp3 set from my little flash drive that I can plug in and listen to at home, on my laptop, at work. When I walk I like to hear the noise of outside. When I travel, I people watch, or write, or listen. I couldn't pay for that self-imposed bubble a second time.

Here's why I'm not cool: I have no real sense of fashion. I will not contort my poor toes into heels just so my legs look longer. I'm kinda frumpy most days and don't consider myself particularly beautiful (although the geek begs to differ), don't listen to the Clear Channel music feed of choice when I don't enjoy that style of music, don't like to own much beyond what I need (although clutter still accumulates somehow). But I write good songs, I write good prose, I have good friends, I am learning to know myself and in doing so, get out of myself and serve others, I love well (and when I don't, I recognize my failings and ask for help), I create, I dream better than the movies and I like it. I'm glad I don't have to wake up from the dream of the lie today. I'm sure there are other things I am in denial about, but for today, I am so not hot right now, and that's pretty cool.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Cookie NOW!!

My many years as a nanny for a day-gig give me the intense appreciation for parenting done well. I thought this little bit of fun was great to read and would have been a great bit of info in the pseudo-parenting I did over the last few years.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

You've come a long way Ronan

From this:

on BAYWATCH: HAWAII!! lol
to this:

Star Wars according to a 3 year old.

I think this sums it up nicely, don't you? The 'siney guy always worries.'

In honor of my birthday boy


In case you didn't know, today is the greatest day evar. Thirty-three years ago, in a little town in New York State, a little boy came into the world. I imagine on that day he looked like a boiled turnip, but he outgrew that and now is pretty cute. I call him "Honey", but you know him as "the geek." I am so glad that your parents decided they needed another little boy around. Without you I'd never have grown up, or known what it is to truly love, or be loved. I am so glad you are on this planet with me. Happy Birthday sweet husband!!!

PS. This is actually the geek's 30th birthday picture, photoshopped to make it look like he's 33. In the background on the screen, you can see him turning 4 or 5. Still as cute as ever!!

Monday, February 25, 2008

I like my limbs


Perhaps this is why I have an inexplicable mortal terror of sharks. Even PICTURES of sharks make my heart rate increase! So when I saw this photo, I was not amused. I could easily fit inside that shark and he'd never notice! I tried (and the geek tried too) to convince myself that it was photoshopped; that this could not be real. And yet, the photographer swears it is and has others like it from a marine biology study he was conducting. Yipe! I don't think that I'll ever get over my feelings about sharks, but I am trying. I looked at lots of pictures today and even touched the screen where the teeth were. (I know...it's a screen! It can't hurt me. Fear isn't logical! And no, sweet husband who is now clutching his chest in horror that I touched the screen, it was neither of yours)

I'm trying to process this photo and see these animals as not the giant killing machines I am afraid they are. It helps to laugh, so when I found this on I can has cheezburger? I felt a little better.

It also reminds me that I see the world as black and white. Things are either good or bad. Evil or kind. I apply that label to people, organizations, animals, and more. Today I am recognizing that the childlike attitudes I bring into adulthood keep me in a judgmental and fearful place. That being said, I still don't think I'd volunteer to be kayak captain in this photo, but today I'll try opening myself up to the idea that people can be just people, with faults and flaws and accepting them is part of my growth as a human.

Grammar can be sexy!

A friend recently (gently) ridiculed the usefulness of a chapter in this book for boys, about grammar. (Odd, seeing as his wife LOVES grammar and if I'm not mistaken is a bit of a comma cop -tee hee!) I happen to think grammar is quite useful, even if I don't have the best habits about it here, as is noted by my 'reading level' evaluation. Which, incidentally, just dropped to elementary school! However, in praise of the semi-colon, I was delighted to read this article in the New York Times recently...
I also love that it's the best way to wink (in an email), without being too risqué.

Monk!


Meet Monk! He has got to be, by far, the cutest and sweetest pup I have ever met (ranks right up there with Freckles!) We met him at the dog park last week, with his seeing eye person J-. Yes. He has a seeing eye person, because he is blind. J- is fostering this cute bundle until a permanent seeing eye person can be found. J- found Monk in the middle of Shelby Ave. lost and unable to find his way out of the road. When he called the dog, he realized that he was blind! See the cute little way he squints his eyes shut and yes, he is smiling at you! After hunting for and finding his real family, the real owners said that they could not give him the attention he needs and left him with J-. (I don't understand this by the way! I could never get rid of Freckles!!)

This is what J- has to say about him:
"Monk is blind, probably born this way, but I believe he can see shadows or make out items that move. He is very sweet, trusting and friendly and loves to attention and to have his belly rubbed. Who wouldn't!

He's great with other dogs too. I have a 1 year old dog myself and they just love to play together.

I've had him in the house for just over 3 days now (this was a few weeks ago) and he has acclimated pretty well. He is very smart and a quick learner. He navigates the house without bumping into things any longer. Once he gets use to an environment he would have no problem navigating a yard or home.
Also, he's learned how to use the doggie door to let himself in and out of the house. He doesn't seem to have any dislikes except loud noises can startle him but other than that he is a very calm little man.

He is housebroken and would make a great pet for someone who doesn't think of his blindness as a disability that will prevent him from having a full life or bringing love to someone's life.

I've taken him to the vet to get all of his shots, etc. He is in good health. Below are his vitals. Please contact me if you know of anyone that would love a great dog.
1 Yr Old
Chow/Lab/Golden Mix
50lbs
Neutered
Up to date on all shots"

My personal experience with this pup proved what J- had to say. He IS a great dog. The geek, as we discussed Monk, mentioned that to a dog, losing your sense of sight would be like us losing our sense of smell (we'd miss it, but it's not vital to life). Since a dog's nose is so highly developed, he can get along fine in a good home, without being able to see (unless, of course, he gets loose in the road!) If you'd like to help him have a fabulous life with people who love him, please get in touch with me ASAP here! (don't worry, I'm safe from the spam bots) Contact Me!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Whiskerino...


There is nothing about me that I can do this with. Maybe leg hair, but ick! I want to be in a fun club. (But I don't want to be hairy!... 'cept on my head)

Endless Web junk!


I am noticing that my life is messy, not just in person, but on the web. I keep getting invites to Facebook and I just can't face one more social networking site! I noticed I hadn't updated MySpace in ages yesterday and I am not overly concerned about it. I wish there was one place that would update them all. Or like, a secret email address that I could send mail to where a little web gnome would be my personal PR buddy and go into all of my sites and update them. I think others call those 'Interns,' but I don't have one right now. I love blogging here and as you can tell by my multiple blog posts per day (my neighbor says that my blog posts are far more steady when I am gainfully employed...she's right. I have more time to sit in front of a computer and type about the world, or my world in general. If I'm not at work, I am doing stuff at home). I have signed up for endless doo dads and sites and fun and am struggling to keep them all accounted for! I think I'm up to 6 or more emails. I need to purge my life of stuff and virtual stuff and make room for the things that matter the most. I think I've lost sight of those things.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Oooooo....me like!


What? Flash drives that look like Legos? Yes please!

The Nashville Scene Vilifies Downtown Dwellers! Film at 11.


The Nashville Scene ran a story this week entitled “Outlawing the Poor: Nashville’s new class war pits the down-and-out against up-and-comers and their powerful allies.” BTW, if you are looking for unbiased press, well, The Scene has never been the place to find that. This free weekly rag is rife with stories about some big bad corporate/industry entity oppressing the little guy. This week’s headline is no different.

Quick Sum up: The new panhandling ordinance (which does not really 'ban' panhandling, only puts limits on it) is affecting the homeless and there has been a crack down on unlawful behavior (trespassing, public drunkenness), leading to fines and the like. But the ‘worst’ offenders of all are the people who want to go to work and home without being harassed on the street or having someone sleep on their door stoop. God forbid! Chock full of fun 'Facts' written with an interesting 'spin'...like this one.

"Metro itself spends a relative pittance—roughly $2 million a year in local tax money—on services for the homeless, mostly to fund a free health clinic and to pay caseworkers in a pilot program helping 35 people find jobs and housing. There are an estimated 2,200 homeless people in Nashville.
At the same time, the city has given $15 million in tax incentives since 2002 to developers building pricey downtown condos. And it would have been more except that Tony Giarratana, who ignited the downtown residential market by building the Viridian in 2006, actually walked away from a $12 million city financing package for his latest project—the 65-story Signature Towers, a posh condo/hotel skyscraper that would rise higher than any building in the Southeast. By rejecting the city’s money, he was relieved of any responsibility to include a few affordable apartments."


Is it me or is $2 million over the last 6 years ($12 million) on homeless services, pretty darn close to $15 million (time line not noted) on tax incentives toward downtown investors? Why write it this way unless it's intended to engender sympathy toward one party over the other? I wonder if the writer of this article lives downtown, or if, like some of the other writers I know at The Scene, he resides in some posh house on a hill in Belle Meade/Bellevue with his opinions and swimming pool.

In 2002 I lived downtown in a 2nd Ave. loft that faced the river. It was a sweet setup. True, there was the bar downstairs (before it moved) that would play live music every night even though my landlord promised me it was only 3 nights or so a week, but by far, it was the best (not to mention coolest place) I’ve lived, to date! (I watched the Cake concert at Dancin' in the District from my windows the night the Thermal Plant burned!) I had a roommate who was about as big as my little finger and we shared the one bedroom apartment We had to park 3 blocks and around the corner away from our building in a lot that became ‘not our lot’ as soon as their was an event. Our monthly parking pass was invalid, for example, on Game Days or for any festival like Fan Fair. It was an act of God to get groceries home, because back then, there was no little Grocery Store near Printers Alley. The closest store was near Metro Center!

I also busked on the streets on weekends and while I frequently was handed a hot plate of food by some well meaning church lady who assumed I was homeless, I also met many people in the mean time, both as I played and when I walked Freckles. There were always the drifters; young hippie type kids who wanted to live ‘off the grid’ i.e., stay gone so long that they could be declared legally dead (7 years) and give up their Social Security number, the drunks and the druggies missing teeth from their crack habit and/or lack of dental hygiene, the harmlessly slow or mentally ill, the scam artists who tried to play me over and over again thinking I wouldn’t remember them. I lived downtown!! I saw them every day! As if I wouldn’t remember that they were once again trying to get some money for gas/ bus fare/ whatever unique thing they had thought of, but was the same story every time. My favorite was the 'dime guy' who asked everyone for a dime. Just a dime…it reminded me of the line from the song ‘Brother, can you spare a dime?” Even the buskers had their spot, their story, their spin. The big black guy with a chair who played like a (very) drunk B.B. King on 2nd Ave, you didn’t go in his territory. Rumor was, he was pulling down $500-$600 per weekend. There were the crazies too, the ones who wandered around yelling to themselves and everyone else, who didn’t want your pity or your money. I was glad for a big dog when they came around.

My roommate (the tiny one), who must have had a sign that said ‘easy target’ stuck on her had people follow her for blocks harassing her, try to push their way into our building at night when she tried to come in the giant (locked) blue front doors. It got to where she would sometimes call and I’d go meet her and let her in so she had ‘backup.’ This was not a good situation.

But my point is, there are no real "bad guys" in this scenario. Just people. Humanity bumping up against each other, and sometimes rubbing each 0ther the wrong way. For me personally, there is something intimidating about someone who is willing to live off the grid. Someone who doesn't have a permanent location where I can send the usual authorities if they hurt me, won’t leave me alone, or try to break in. They live by no rules, and I like rules, like I like walls in my house. They keep out the stuff I don't want, and keep safe the stuff I do.

In those days, on my walks home, I walked like I knew exactly what was going on, striding with my ‘don’t F*%# with me’ stride. Truth be told, as a woman, alone on the city street at night, I was scared, a lot. But, even now, it’s not guilt (as the homeless kid in the article said) I feel when I see them. I'm not having an 'existential crisis,' because I have a car and a bed and they don't. It’s more like staring at a gaping hole in the universe. Here is someone who has lost all connection with family, old friends, education, the world as I know it. 'What brought them here?',' How did they get so lost?', and mostly, 'Could this happen to me and if it did, would anyone notice?' These are the questions I ask.

So...to sum up (with many rabbit trails)
Is limiting panhandling a good thing?
Maybe. It sets up safe boundaries for me to protect myself and not live in fear. I understand it's not convenient, but it's still allowed, just not near bus stops, schools, ATMs, or businesses that don't allow it, and not after dark. Basically at places where people have to/need to be, places that need to be safe, and times that lend themselves to trouble.

Is wanting to feel safe in my own home, or in my own ‘front yard’ (even though it may be a sidewalk) bad?
No. And kudos to those who do something about it! If these people were lounging on someone’s front stoop in any other part of town, asking for money, or to just to sleep there, almost anyone would give them the boot. Why does it make a downtown dweller a 'jerk' to ask for the same thing?

Does there need to be something else in place to help the ones who truly want help?
Definitely. The city of Nashville should have a big part in this, and, I think, eventually will. And for those who choose to live this way, for whatever reason, some rules in how they bump up against humanity are not bad.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Good-bye sweet, sweet freedom


On March 3rd, I'll go from being a footloose and fancy free temp to being permanent part-time at this big ol' institution type university.

Pros:
Steady work
My very own office supplies!
Nice people
Office with a window
Possibility of traveling

Cons:
Steady work - shouldn't I have a trust fund somewhere? I am toooo full of creative ideas to push pencils!
No time for writing and no space for it in my brain either. One of the bad parts of having to be all organized, there is no space for angst - which makes for great songs (sometimes)
My dog in a crate every day for 8 hours
House a mess (who has time to clean?!)
Cooking food becomes a bother when I'm tired from being at work all day

I am a musician!! This is like signing my soul over to Satan! Whatever happened to the days where I could live on a Barista's wage? Oh... Right...
A house, broken cars, debt...sigh. I hate being a grownup some days.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

RSS?



If you are like me, you are totally baffled by the sheer amount of ways one can subscribe to a blog. I mean really! Every single website, including Yahoo, Google, and Live have their own version of it. But wait...! It not only slices and dices, it makes your eyes crossed!! I have been trying to sort this out in my spare time as each friend has a different feed service. 'Addthis', 'feedburner'. And HOW you get that info can be any one of (so far as I can tell, I have an inkling that there are more) three ways.
One, a reader.
Two, an email.
Three, on your homepage as a little widget (doo-dad).
After I had removed large clumps of hair from my head trying to sort this out, I boiled it down to this. Here is the semi-technical information and here is my version:
1. Someone somewhere writes something interesting that I'd like to read.
2. I go to their site and like what I read. I want to go there again, but hey, it's a crazy world, a crazy life. I need reminders!
3. I click on any number of random looking things that might remotely mention subscribing, but if this is there...well I know I'm on the right track. Those little icons let me choose where I want that cool little blurb on that groovy person's website to go.
4. There are 30+ ways to get that information to me including bloglines, yahoo, google, reddit, technorati, and many, many...many more. Even myspace and facebook let you have feeds on your page! I have found the easiest is to add them as a little doo-dad to my google home page when I log in to check my gmail. My neighbor has a reader and sends me fun things which I never check in my own reader because, lets face it, I have enough things to read in a day. I like to keep it simple.
5. Enter in the name of the website that I want to get my 'feed' from (if it's not automatically added from that site).
6. Click 'done'.
7. Read on my home page all the little snippets of fun that make my day a little brighter.

I know there are plenty of geeks out there rolling their eyes at my little explanation, but for the rest of us who are overwhelmed by the choices...give us a break!

Good morning, sun (son)...I am a bird

Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it,
we're still fighting it
And you're so much like me
I'm sorry.

~ Ben Folds Still Fighting It

Monday, February 18, 2008

Well...

The car broke. Then a beautiful thing happened (I'll get to it...). And then we got the bill.
$1400.00
I am currently wondering what on earth we are going to do. It may seem a small amount to some, but to me, right now, it might as well be $14,000.
Is there a plan here? Could you turn on the little light at the end of the tunnel? I'm in the dark and would love some hope.

plateia amerikis


plateia amerikis
Originally uploaded by ennajay
This is where I was born! (sort of) I've been looking for photos of the house where I was born and while I haven't found it yet, I've found a sign to there!
I'm a little more cheered up.

In the dumps

I had this great post about my weekend, but I'm in the dumps this morning. Why can't things be simple and sweet? Why do they always have to turn ugly? I am doing the best I can! Why is this not enough? Maybe I'll cheer up later.

Friday, February 15, 2008

No, No, No, No, NO!


I am going to cry.

Dewd! You found my Stash!

I forgot to post this earlier....Mr. Gizmo McSnorglekins was having just a lil too much fun this Christmas past. I tumped over the big chair to vacuum and found....his secret stash of doo-dads! Including Jingle-y Balls, Bottle Caps , Paper Wads, and Tree Ornaments! Sigh.

Avoid this couch!! (not ours...ours is now industrial strength)


We bought our furniture about 2+ years ago and it all came with a lovely warranty that lasted about a year. Two weeks before that warranty ended, we heard an ominous 'sproiiiiing.' Wouldn't you know it, a spring, or really a springy metal band popped loose. We had the tech out to fix it and sighed a sigh of relief. We thought we'd gotten it taken care of before it was too late. HA! Those little springy bands have kept popping off! One here, two there, I flip the couch over, remove the dust lining and put them back, and then staple the dust lining back on.

Then Christmas came. Lots of people sat on that couch through out the holiday season and my papa occupied it for afternoon naps. I knelt on the couch one afternoon to look at something behind the Christmas tree and "SPROOIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGG!" Almost half of the springy bands popped off! Since Christmas we have avoided that couch. There are other chairs in the living room and I didn't want to think about it! But tonight, friends are coming over and there is not enough room for them all without that couch. So we flipped it over, removed the (now shredded...thank you, cat!) dust liner and surveyed the damage.

Things I noticed about a Rooms To Go Couch:
1. The entire thing is constructed of pressboard (plywood!)
2. There was not a single nail in the whole thing. Only Large Staples
3. Whoever put this thing together was going for odds. In other words, if I shoot enough staples in here, maybe some of them will come in contact with the two things I am attempting to connect. (This didn't happen often)
4. Springy Bands SUCK! They make this horrible noise unless they are coated in plastic this little plastic bit and guess what happens when they come unhooked? You got it! The plastic bit goes flying and becomes instant cat toy.
5. It is hard to fix something right when it hasn't been made right in the first place!!
6. All in all, RTG couch is crap. I hope it makes it a few more years and then will become a dog couch.

The Geek and I, after MUCH railing against RTG and the crappy construction of the couch, finally came up with a solution involving wood screws and washers...don't ask. But the odds of those bands popping loose again are pretty slim now, thanks to the DIH (Do it herself) musician!! The price was high though. I bruised my sternum leaning over the bottom of the couch while wrestling with springy bands, and a couple of times they got loose and cut my forearms. Not to mention whatever padding they had in there I must be allergic to because my arms were red and rash-y for a few hours.

Now if we can just keep the cat from hiding our socks and underwear in his secret cat nest inside the couch!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Ick - not to mention...who is this dude with a grease spot on his shirt?

I am torn about this. It's either 1. A great way to prevent people who are going to do it anyway from adding to the STD, AIDS, or BABY population, or 2. An amoral (at least in my opinion) ploy to get more people to have random casual sex in the city on V-day. Maybe both?

"Thursday, February 14, 2008, New York City:
Getting’ Some on Valentine’s Day, 2008

The New York City Department of Health launched a very cool new TV, radio and print ad campaign for condom distribution today with the official slogan: Get Some.
Today, the Department is dispersing street teams to meet commuters at busy crossroads around the city – including Union Square in Manhattan, the Atlantic Avenue station in Brooklyn, and 149th Street and Grand Concourse in the Bronx – to distribute the official new NYC Condom for Valentine’s Day, which was redesigned by Yves Behar, founder of the San Francisco-based design agency, fuseproject.

However, “despite its new packaging, the NYC Condom itself has not changed. The distinctive new wrapper contains the same lubricated Lifestyles latex condom that was in last year’s subway-themed package.”

Snow - you are such a tease




Happy Valentines Day to all of you and for those of you who think Valentines Day sucks and one should be miserable and ignore the manufactured Greeting Card conspiracy to make everyone celebrate in the sappiest way possible, I'm sorry. Happy Day anyway. It takes a lot to be that miserable. I should know. I used to be in your camp. It gave me heartburn to be that full of angst, so I couldn't stay there. I tried. The whole bitter, angst-y artist thing doesn't work for me. My mama said it best..."Girl, you are a red rubber ball! Nothing keeps you down for long."

But I digress. This post is about snow...or lack there of in Nashvegas. I was office bound while all the lovely swirl was happening outside so didn't get any photos. The photos above are from a couple of people who managed to get pictures yesterday on Flickr. Just so you can see the pitifulness of it after a few hours. The dusting we got was beautiful and made a white world outside my window, but didn't hang around. I know, for those of you in the north who say "snow is the WORST! I can't wait for it to go away, all the sludge, wet, and mess...", let me just say this: I grew up in Texas. 'Nuf said. I am never, ever, ever, going to get sick of it. I'll always think it's beautiful, even if I AM cold and I wish it had stayed. So there.

My...wasn't that petulant.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

International Rock Star...sort of

I love seeing who is reading (not all the gory details...don't worry, I'm not tracing you!) and where they are from. I added a little sidebar that shows the home flag of this weeks readers. I am so very international this week! I love it.

I need cool gum


I'm sure this is SOOO old news, but I ran across this web page today. Stride Gum send this guy all over the world to dance in a video, poorly I might add. And not a fancy video, one shot with his digital camera. Man! Wouldn't this be the BEST gig EVAAAR!!??! I so need a cool gum to sponsor me to do something fun.

Speaking of sponsor...coming soon. A way to 'Save the Music' on a more personal level. Are you excited? I am!

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Beautiful Crowded Skies and Learning to be a friend



My friend and fellow musician put out her second of three books. This one is called “Crowded Skies – Letters to Manhattan.” (which you should read!!) The first one “Here’s to Hindsight – Letters to My Former Self,” (which you should read also! Not just cause I’m in it!) was a beautiful set of vignette type chapters about going where God was taking her and all her learning and adventures along the way. (in which she quoted one of my songs! v. exciting.) I am only a few chapters into the second one, but I have some things to say already.

I came to the part where she talked about moving from Nashville to NYC and all the signs she had pointing her direction. She wrote that when she packed up her stuff to move to the City nearly three years ago, she only had 2 friends show up to help. I was not one of those two friends. Although I have made amends for being a crappy friend and firmly planting my head up the bum of my spouse when we got married, and not only made amends, but have regained a friendship with her, I am sad that I was once in that category of people who didn’t make time for her when she came off the road. I had all the reasons in the world, but that doesn’t make it right.

At the time, I remember the frustration I felt when she did come in town, but only had an hour or two to spend with me and usually cancelled at the last minute for (this was the story in my head) someone cooler or more helpful to her career than me, after I had rearranged my day to meet her. After a few times of that, decided that I didn’t want to make time for her. Here’s the catch though: I never spoke that frustration to her. I never called her out on the times she hurt my feelings. I let it pass and eventually she moved away.

If community is something I want to practice, I have to be willing to say the hard things. By not speaking up and not wanting to make her angry or hurt, I lost a friend, (at least until I got off my butt and earned her friendship back) and have done this time and again in years past. I assume, write a script in my head for what’s really going on between us and if it gets too hard, I give up. I’ll just call a spade a spade here and say that I’ve never been very good at being a friend. I either smother them with my neediness, feel slightly (subconsciously) superior and thus ignore them, or bend over backwards to “do” and “make time” and then feel used when they don’t give back in the same way. Not really room for connecting intimately (by that, I mean being seen, heard and know and seeing, hearing and knowing the other person) is there?

So either I sit firmly in the role of victim of the universe and am alone, or I speak up, say what I need, show my weaknesses and have real friends. I’m learning to do the second one. I suck at it too! I’m afraid of hurting people and of being hurt, so I often retreat to my corner, write angst-y songs about it all and then eventually creep out to try again. For those of you who are standing by me in this process, thank you. I’m getting better and that’s all I can do.


BTW, just a little FYI: I also wrote the song called Search Me which became Track #8, after we rewrote it a little to made it fit her, for the album that goes with the first book. It's called Here's to Hindsight and is available on her website, here.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Aaargg!! The Pressure of being tagged!!!

I don’t know seven other bloggers to tag, but I’ll do my best here.

  1. I’m a former Opera singer. I’ll say, not in a prideful way, that I frickin’ rocked! I have a recording to prove it!
  2. I have an unnatural (and yet not so unexplainable) fear of sharks. Even pictures of sharks make my blood pressure go up. I tried looking at pictures of them to get over it, but I just ended up freaking myself out.
  3. I am secretly girly. (twirly skirts were big with me when I was a kid. Still kind of are)
  4. I envy the fact that men can grow beards and completely change the way they look! I don’t actually WANT facial hair, but I’d like to mix it up now and then in the look department. A haircut only goes so far and I’m not willing to become blonde. On this subject, why is it that men get “distinguished” as they age and women turn into saggy old bean bags? I have a beef with the designer about that.
  5. I dream in IMAX. If I could hook up a machine to my head and record my dreams, I would be the richest script writer ever! This being said, I never watch scary movies because they would come out as VERY scary and REAL dreams. I remember once dreaming something sad and then walking around half the day all depressed until I remembered that it was something I had dreamed and not reality.
  6. I almost drowned while white water rafting the Ura Bamba river in the Andes Mountains of Peru.
  7. I’m destined to become the family historian. Mostly because I take the pictures and do the genealogy research. It’s a hobby of mine. I have lots of hobbies. Knitting, sewing, being a rock star, baking, photography, bike riding, blogging…it’s endless, really.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Catch Up...read backward in time

Where to begin! It’s been a long month.

I’m going to make past blog entries on the actual day they happened, so it’ll be like traveling backward in time.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Yipe! A MONTH since my last post?

Sorry all you readers. My computer began doing the blue screen of death and I got a bit preoccupied with backing EVERYTHING UP! I then took it in to the BIG BOX store and guess what...I get it replaced...FOR FREE!! Thanks No Lemon Policy! This is it's 4th major repair and the Big Box Store is going to let me pick out a new one. Since mine only had a fabulous 60 gig of hard drive, anything they give me will be an upgrade. But I've been without it for so long, so no pictures and I have to wait for DH to give me compy time on his machine which you other W.o.W. widows understand is like pulling teeth...out of cement! But soon, hopefully today, I'll resume my blogging ways and then...just you wait Enry Iggins. It'll be great!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...