When in doubt...crochet your candidate!

Just got this in an email from Lionbrand yarn. It's just so wrong I had to post it! The email said...'Hold your own debate! Presidential candidate finger puppets! There are no words for how weird this is.

Obama

McCain

Just life...and then some.

My day today:

• Roasting a chicken in the crock pot , 8-10 hours (but minimal work for me!)
• About to start a new loaf in the breadmaker, 3 hours, but once again, minimal me work!
• Roasting a butternut squash in the oven. Some work, but SOOOOOOO worth it.
  
• Re-arranging the office (this could take DAYS). I got rid of the huge 'door as desk' operation and pared down to a small desk. Should help me manage mess level, but now all the gradoo from the shelves has to be gone through and reduced. See why it could take days?
  
• Purging my magazine collection. I always think I want hand-me-down magazines, but then the guilt of not reading them, and not wanting to waste any perfect recipes, tips, ideas etc, makes them stack up, taunting me. They are going in the recycling bin today. Goodbye Martha and Real Simple. I'll read you online. Less paper (and guilt) that way.
• Watching the bean shift her butt from side to side of me. It's starting to not hurt. I guess that means I finally stretched enough to fit her!
  
• A nap and a walk with the Geek.
  

Want one!

No idea what it is, or who makes it, but it's a GREEN BUBBLE CAR! How can one pass this up?

My potato needs soothing...

From here

See that twinkle in his eye?

How can I resist those blue eyes?! So handsome.

See where blue eyes get ya? Just kidding! Just another belly shot. This one from last week (32) too.

Can't...seem...to leave...recliner

I am so unmotivated this morning. Everything I'd like to do requires my hands and when touching something as soft as my Gizmo cat hurts, you know dishes or laundry fall further down the scale of 'actually doing this'. So I've been lumping around, sitting in the recliner and watching movies on Hulu and netflix. I think my brains have leaked out through my ears. That weird neurologist I saw when all this began (who's diagnosis was...you are pregnant! Shocker) wasn't kidding around when he waggled his index and middle fingers and thumbs at me proclaiming, 'I like to call these the fingers of Civilization!' I understand him now. I am totally uncivilized. Just a few more weeks. I can make it...I hope.

Witching Hour

I'm not sure if everyone has this while pregnant, but for me, 3am is the witching hour. If I'm lying in bed and can't get back to sleep because I'm either hungry, hurting from pinched nerves, have to pee (again), or am mysteriously no longer sleepy, you can bet your BOOTS that as soon as I locate my glasses in the dark and take a peek at the clock, it will be 3am. I've sworn again and again that if all I EVER see again at this hour is the backs of my eyelids, I'll be a happy camper, but I know that won't happen with a baby girl to nurse in the night. Still, it's just me and the cat. Freckles has better sense than to be up at this hour. I'll just sit here and watch my belly dance on it's own. Apparently she's up too. (Sorry, no videos this time. I don't feel like changing into less raggedy PJs and I'm not ABOUT to show off this ensemble) Note the time of post.

Goodbye Privets of DOOOOM

Our neighborhood group, of which about 30 people attend, planned a big work weekend at our house to help us get the house and yard in order before our baby girl decides to make her appearance on the outside. We had a small turnout (4 yesterday and 3 today - which I have to remember is not about me, but about how people want to spend their weekend), but it was insane how much brush they cut out of our yard! We wore out the neighbor's chainsaw (which we now have to repair) and the boys broke two sets of clippers (methinks they were exceeding the 1.5 inch diameter of branch rule) and resorted to the hacksaw and still made a huge dent. The 'SUPERHEDGE' of growth between us and the house next door that is for sale is gone, baby gone. The two Privet bushes of doom that were threatening the life of the Silver Maple are gone. We actually have a side yard instead of a breeding ground for more mosquitoes! Yesterday it seemed as if the porch had expanded from all the extra light and space around it.

Also accomplished by one brave soul (Erin!) who agreed to tackle this while the menfolk did more manly chainsawing, the nursery is Spackled, primed and ready for painting! We actually used much less primer than I thought we would. Two other gals (Rachel and Desiree!) from neighborhood group came by eariler this week and got the walls washed and sanded! Thanks gals! The Geek and I have a cute mural planned out and will get on that soon enough. I will draw it out and he'll paint! (Paint by numbers if you will)

Just for contrast, here's some before and...well...during photos until we figure out what to do with all the brush that won't fit in the alley!

before - you can't even see the right (as you face it) side of our house!!

During(ish) - there appears to be a...could it be?! A neighbor's house! Wow. We never even knew they were there! :)

As you can see, there is more hauling of brush to be done and we have not figured out where to put it, or if the Metro brush pickup will do a special pickup for us. If not, we are going to have to locate a truck or a hay trailer to borrow. Anyone got one? All in all, it's nice to have a yard. I love it! Thanks neighborhood group!

Who needs pesky lips and eyes...

I love it when people who don't speak English very well make products with English words on them! I'm sure we have our own language faux pas (is that one?) , but that would be why I don't wear shirts with french phrases on them (or have tattoos of characters I can't read!)

from here

It's a lolhouse out there!

In case you aren't in the know, the LOL empire is spreading. On lolcats you can link over to many other types of lols. Here's a little sample of the types of lols you can enjoy: (click on the pix to go to the site)

For Cat lovers:

For Dog Lovers:

For the celebrity follower:
Look-alike lovers!:
For Politicos:

And so much more. Whoever thought of this was stinkin' brilliant! AND according to this article here with the company founder for the lol empire Pet Holdings, the original I Can Has Cheezburger was sold for 2 MILLION DOLLARS, but I found this particularly amazing "The family of sites is generating 3.3 million daily page views, and around 5 million unique monthly visitors. Total revenue per page is north of $0.80, he (Ben Huh, the founder) says." That's a lot of dough for laughs. The two dudes who created this (a blogger in Hawaii and his partner) are chillin on the island with their smooth millions right now! Live it up fellas!

A sigh of relief

The Geek and I took a tour of the hospital we are giving birth in the other night and we came home thoroughly disappointed and frankly worried about our choice. It all seemed so 'chop change, chop change' to us. The more I heard about giving birth in this hospital, the less I wanted to give birth there! They seem to have this conveyor belt of baby birthing and I felt swept up in the frantic pace of it all. For example: all the test they'll need to run on her as soon as she's out, the rate of interventions, and all of the things they do there to make things run smoothly! The large postpartum rooms were a thing of the past which was a HUGE let down, since we had been so excited to give birth in a nice place. About 2 hours after delivery they move you to a MUCH smaller room and to us, they seemed a little dinky...ok VERY DARK AND SMALL after the grandeur of the big birthing suites.

I had a melt down about it all that night with tears and fears (a Bio-Chemical tantrum, as one daddy to be site put it - and this poor dad understands too) and taking it out on the Geek, who agreed with me, but was dealing with it in his own way which happens to be WAY less vocal than me. (I feel like I need to say I'm sorry for my craziness every day! I really am sorry honey, even though that doesn't make up for how I hurt you when I'm crazy. I want you there every minute of our delivery, even if you do it your own way.)

I called friends that night and talked about it, but really was not very reassured. I finally talked to a friend today who is both a mother and a nurse. She listened to everything I was freaking out about and then talked me through each thing. She had a lot of both technical and experiential knowledge, plus she knew me and knew I am not the Freaking out type, so she addressed my concerns as valid rather than giving me the 'you're just pregnant and crazy' line (WHICH I HATE!). Here's what she said:

1.The postpartum rooms were now smaller because they had a lot of trouble with the large birthing suites. Because they were so large, they could accommodate a lot of post birth visitors, (15-20!) and it interfered with the mother-baby bonding. Some mothers nearly had nervous breakdowns because they felt like they were never alone and never allowed to rest. Although I know I'm an extrovert, the 48 hours I'm in the hospital (some of which will be labor and delivery time) are not the time to have lots of friends come visit. It's a time to rest, recover, and be with the Geek and our baby girl. I can have friends visit later. PLUS, our due date is in the height of RSV season which can be dangerous for our little bean.

2. What was it I was needing that made me think I had to have lots of people around after the birth? We talked this through and it led me to some fears I have about differences in personality between the Geek and I. The Geek = introvert, recharges through time alone and quiet. The Musician = Extrovert, recharges through time with others. What happens when the Geek (24 hours or so into the process) needs to recharge? I'm on my own. At least that's what I tell myself, so I need others there. But really, I don't know how I'll be in that situation. Maybe I'll just need sleep! Maybe I'll be enamored by my little girl and not want anyone else around! Maybe I can talk to the nurses, or lactation consultant, or pediatrician (they'll all be around)! Maybe I can let go of trying to control how the Geek will be and just let him have his own labor experience too. It helped to hear about her hubby (a GREAT guy and Father) who stuck by her for every moment of the first delivery (which he realized he could not do again without risking his mental health), fell asleep during her 2nd delivery and for her 3rd went home to sleep in his own bed! (after the baby was born, of course) It's just what HE needed to do. She wasn't thrilled about it all, but he needed to take care of himself. I forget that part. I'm the center of the universe, aren't I?

3. All these natural birth books, while great, neglect to remind the mother to be that birth, in the rest of the world, is still a harrowing and dangerous experience for women and sometimes the natural approach just wont work without serious risk to mother and baby. On her recent two week trip to Ghana, two babies died under the care of midwives and the two mothers almost died. It may be natural, normal and common, but it's exhausting, intense and sometimes (even in our medically advanced country) a dangerous experience. I get caught up in the natural side of it and forget that while I don't need to be afraid, I need to be ready to give up my ideals about what I want if it means putting me or her at risk.

4. To grieve the fact that it won't be all I have dreamed up in my head with my mama and husband there and everything all peaceful and natural. They may not have the capacity to be there for me like that, and that's OK. Even if I don't like it, it's still OK and I'm allowed to be sad for awhile. It's amazing how it all comes back to accepting what I'm given and finding joy in it.

I felt like I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. I was heard, I was comforted, I was understood and in the end, it's about more than just what I think I want. Thanks H-, for all your wisdom.

PS. Sorry if this has become a 'pregnancy blog.' It's just what is on the forefront of my thoughts these days! I'm sure more will come into my head later.

The Mommy club

I spent time with a new mama recently and we had lots of fun talking about giving birth and stuff. It's nice to be able to talk about things that would normally gross out the population at large, but are nevertheless a normal part of one's day. (Ex. Rectal pressure...told you it would gross you out. Where do you think that baby goes? Not just out, but down and there are a lot of other things inside me besides baby! Organs, for example)

I very much want all of this to be normal and natural without intervention, but I also realize that what will be, will be and if we both come out on the other side, THAT is the goal. I have found that mommy friends are more willing to spend time hanging out, (or perhaps I have time to pursue them now that I'm at home) and all of them have such wisdom to pass along!

It also gives us something in common. Beth put it so well when we were talking about friends with kids wondering when their friends without kids are going to have kids. She said basically 'I don't understand your life anymore and I want you to have kids so we have something to talk about now...like poopy diapers!' I thought that was hilarious, but nonetheless, true. We all want common ground to stand on with the people around us. It's what helps us relate! Funny, we talked about this in neighborhood group this past week, but in terms of reconciliation with others. Hmmm. Is there a theme?

Eat your way through the Greatest State

I'm thinking of my friend over at Beyond the Fried who cooks for a Texan when I post this. Plus, it makes me think of home too. Check it out!

The Homesick Texan

Insides to outsides

There is some wisdom I have picked up along the way in this crazy journey and here is the sum of it for me today:

I compare what is inside me to what I see on the outside of others.

For example: I read their blog and think...they have the perfect life! What is wrong with me? Why is everyone else happy/contented/traveling/wealthy/married to the perfect man/skinny (or at least not worried about it)/beautiful all the time? I go to church and see the perfect smiling scrubbed faces of all those college students (when did we become the 'cool' church? Ick.) in their rock star clothes and perfect hair and I sometimes can't help but think that I'm the only one in the room that wakes up frumpy/grumpy/fat/discontent/broke/sad/pimple faced/and stuck in the US for years!

My head tells me it's not true and I'm only seeing as deep into them as they are allowing me, but the facts don't sink down any further (to the heart level) and I become discontent and resentful. When my sweet husband (who puts up with WAAAAY more than the average bear) doesn't act like I want him to, or magically read my mind to know what I want, I let him have it! To be honest, he alone bears the brunt of my grumpies. I don't really take out my grumpiness on anyone else. I don't think they'd take it and still be my friend. The Geek, on the other hand, would have to shell out a lot of dough to get away from me permanently, and still, we'd have a baby girl to bind us. That is a sad statement and in it, I see how much I take him for granted. I have been working very hard on this part of me, but still, it's there and still he bears the brunt of my malcontent. I'm so very sorry, honey!

For today, when I feel like everyone else is more connected to the earth, more beautiful, more content, more spiritual, more talented, more EVERYTHING than me, I'll remind myself that that is my personal way of finding myself lacking and giving myself an excuse to do whatever I want, no matter how destructive it is. So for today, I can hand this over to someone whose hands are bigger than mine and just accept where I am today, rejoicing in all of your accomplishments and joys. I do, after all, have amazing friends.

By the way, I am back publishing all of the posts I've started, but not finished for whatever reason. Some are important thoughts that I stalled out on, some are just little silly things. I'll list them at the bottom of each days post as I finish them. Here's one!
Dreaming

Hands, Come back!

I am so anxious to knit!! The weather is perfect, I have lots of patterns I'd like to do, but OH my hands (lack of feeling in them) continue to plague me! Think of the baby things I could be making RIGHT NOW! Oh, I could cry. I could press on and do it, but ONE minute with the needles and I'm in pain and things only get worse from there. If I don't stop, then it progresses and the shooting pain becomes so bad it keeps me up all night. So instead I'm going to post all the things I WILL be knitting when she gets here. Poor girl, born into the world in DECEMBER with no snuggly knits to wear. Where is Gramma when you need her? Oh right. She doesn't knit. But enough griping! On to cuteness!

I'll do this for her (minus the floofy stuff)

from here

I think her room needs this too:

from here but perhaps in greens, browns, greys and pinks. Whaddya think?

This for when she's a little bigger:

from here

These (could you just die!)

From here

This (for me) just because:

from here

Isn't THIS cute! I'm not sure about the pink.

From here

How about these for her AND me to keep our toes toasty?

from here

There's just so much I'd like to be doing right now. It's my way of having to learn patience right? I'm trying.

Oh, and these...

from here

Sunny Semi-Fall day claims another two victims

The Geek and I have to go snuggle and sleep. Too much stuff went on today! Supporting Race for the Cure - Breast Cancer race...(the Geek wore a pink boa and lost his voice cheering the runners), supporting friends at their groovy shop (Ghia had a great day at the Festival of Cultures!), meeting a friend to pick up a fancy camera with which to shoot my OWN maternity photos. Yes, it will be a feat, but we are broke and no one else can do it for me right now. Now to snuggle and watch a Harry Potter movie and fall asleep WAY too early, exhausted by the day. I need to take more photos, but am not really liking my point and shoot right now.

Happy birthday Mama!

Mama at my brother's wedding, 2006

See this gorgeous gal? It's my mama, Woodie. AND, today is her birthday. This woman is amazing and I'm only beginning to realize just how amazing she is. Here are some small highlights of her life:

• Graduated high school at 16, 'cause she was SO smart
• Got kicked out of college for participating in Civil Rights marches (how fricking cool is that!)
  
• Birthed (without drugs, except for the last one who was 11 lbs and breach) 7 children
• Has stayed married, no matter what life brought for nearly 37 years now!
• Lived in foreign countries for 8 years (and made 4 babies there) sharing her faith with others
• Put up with the insanity of a house full of kids and loved us well
• Decided in her 50's to finish her college degree and get her Masters
• Fabulous Mother and Friend to me (and I'm sure many others...although maybe not the mother part)
• Is turning 61 today.
  

I wish I had more photos of her when she was young, but alas, they were all destroyed when she was out of the country. But her legacy lives inside her, not in the photos I have. She is one helluva woman and I love her.

Mama, Papa and my oldest sister 1974 (weren't they groovy?)

Happy Birthday Mama!

Chilly!

Finally the Summer heat has given way to cooler Fall weather. It's about time! A favorite blogger of mine has been writing that it's wool sock weather where she lives! Of course, that is Maine, but just the same, I'd like my share of the toasty warm sock wearing weather.

Aside: (like in Shakespeare) In case you haven't heard, wool socks are my secret boyfriend, a term I bestow upon inanimate objects that make me happy. I'm serious! Check out my amazon wish list!! It's full of SmartWool socks. No lie, and knitting books, music, and other books I'd like. This is Not a birthday plug, I promise. I just really have a thing for wool socks, (SOOO much warmer than cotton) although I have yet to knit a pair. I like mine with more stretch than I am capable of producing...but I digress.

Fall weather makes me very happy. I love sweaters, but this is really the only time I get to wear them. Before too much longer, people start cranking the furnaces up and when I go into a house or a building, it is usually so warm that I have to dress in layers and am down to the lowest level (aside from bra!) soon after I get there because 1. I'm hot natured anyway and 2. I am currently equipped with my own onboard heater!

Here's my current favorite snuggly sweater.

Please ignore my serious lack of maternity jeans. These are just my regular xtra big ones!

Yesterday I went to our local natural market's fall fest and wouldn't you know it, forgot my camera! Rats. Several friends were there with their wee ones and we spent time talking while the children ran around. It was so cool and fresh. There was a mini petting zoo which included a Llama, sheep, goats, a calf, bunnies, ducks, and chickens. I'm not overly thrilled by the prospect of petting farm animals, just because I don't find sheep and goats to be that cuddly and while I was near it, the calf took a leak. Hmmm. Un-savory. The bunnies I could handle, the ducks ran away from ALL the children and having grown up with chickens, I can't imagine why anyone would want to pet them. I think we caught lice from them one time as kids (chicken feathers as hair decoration)...special! I wish I could share all those little faces and animals in the late afternoon sunlight, giggling and squealing, chasing animals and timidly reaching out a hand to touch them and then quickly pulling back, but it has to stay inside my head, alas.

I like this whole stay at home (soon to be) mom thing. It means I get more time with friends. I had such sweet conversations with all of those gals yesterday. I wish I could bottle that kind of afternoon and drink it on rainy days.

Life comes out in neat circles...even if a smidge depressing

And in a German accent


found this here

If I only blogged my dreams

If my dreams were all I put up here, some days it would be a helluva read. For example.

Last night, I dreamed I was trying to get a part time job at Burger King, not a real burger king, but the kind that was a storefront, so only one fry basket and a small grill. Apparently a friend of mine from college, whom we called Del Fuego (because her last name was Del Figlio and...well, it was college and we thought we were clever) worked there and she was trying to get me hired. SO I worked a whole day and then no one ever told me to come back, but they gave me a uniform (of sorts) or tried to. There was a room full of second hand jeans and two moms were passing out the size we needed, we just had to tell them. I told them my size but that it had to be maternity. They just stared at me. Then the owner came in and wanted a conduit run so his daughter could get burgers in her bedroom. Still no word about whether I worked there or not. Then, me in my street clothes and untrained was made to stand at the front of the store while the customers piled up. When I went to ask what I should do, they said, "Nothing. You aren't trained yet." A bunch of them were lying on their stomachs in the break room, coloring (with crayons). SO I just stood there and oddly enough so did the patrons. No one got mad, they just stared at me.

Then my friend came in like she had the best news in the world, bouncing! I got the job and I start right now and my shifts would be 12 hours. I mentioned I was pregnant and she was shocked. (you saw the pics right? There doesn't seem to be much question left as to my state) She said she didn't know! I asked what she thought this big belly was and she blushed and said she thought I'd just put on weight since college. (Sigh)

My first job was to transport used uniforms to be cleaned. However, when I opened the bag, there were two bandannas, one orange and one green which had money in them and a note for me saying I should keep my mouth shut and here was a little bribe money, and oddly enough some jewelry components in an envelope for me if I didn't say anything. The bandannas were color coded to the GANG they belonged to and I was supposed to be their mule for the stuff. Before I could transport it or even decide if I wanted to be a mule, a knock at the door came. Two thugs were there and one had a gun in his hand. They politely asked me to open the door. I refused and before shooting could break out, I heard a beep. Then another, then several...then I opened my eyes to my sweet Geek's drooling face about 6 inches from my own and his alarm (which only ever wakes ME up) going off.

Some days I wish I could record these dreams because, unlike the one above, some are like MOVIES! When the Geek and I first got married I had to catch up on all the Stargate episodes so we could watch them with friends and I wouldn't be lost or have to have things explained to me during the current episodes. Three per night and I was dreaming more at night! I coulda been a great writer for that show.