Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Upon our Anniversary

3 years. Can you believe it?! I can't some days. I had an interesting conversation with a friend about marriage and whether it is really the be all, end all for singletons. I used to think so, but 3 years in, I gotta tell ya, that is a bunch of Hollywood bunk!! Not that Matt isn't fabulous and it's nice to have him around, but he didn't complete me. In fact marriage is more like holding a mirror up to yourself in bright daylight with no holds barred about your defects, oh and you're naked. I used to laugh and tell my friends, "Wanna find out what a bitch you are? Get married." It's true. It'll bring out the very worst of you. It'll bring out the best in you too. Yet most of us know our own strengths, but have heretofore been less that willing to face any defects. For example: I'm one hell of a perfectionist coupled with a huge sense of being "less than everyone else"- translation? I never try anything too new or scary for fear of failure. I'm a bit of a nag, a horrible housekeeper, I kick at night, don't like to share, always want the last serving of ice-cream, I want my own way almost all the time and HATE HATE HATE losing an argument. How's that for hard to live with?! The list goes on, by the way. That's just a taste. But here we are 3 years later and actually happy. A friend once said, concerning couples therapy, "Go early and often." We took that advice and I had a moment of seeing progress in us the other day. We were with our realtor and Matt and I were goofing off. I called him a name like "dork" or some such thing. He said, "Please don't call me names, honey" and I said I was sorry. I didn't thing anything of it, but our realtor (married with 2 kids) said "Wow. You two give me hope." I never thought our marriage would give anyone hope. I mean there have been times when I can't stand Matt and I am certain he can't stand me either. I can't even stand me in those moments! Anyway, here's to our couples therapist and all the other friends and family members who have helped us get this far! We couldn't have done it without you all. Thank you!
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