The end of 5 days of near disaster and Memorial day

It is Memorial day today and on that subject, I have this to say:

Somewhere in Arlington National Cemetery is a stone for a man I never met, but for whom my father is named. His plane went down in the Bermuda triangle and all souls aboard were lost. No trace ever found. My grandfather, his brother, told me from that day on, he knew what he would name his first son and that his father, my great grandfather, until the day he died, never gave up hope that his son would walk through the door some day. In memory of George Allen Terrell, and others who gave their lives in service, we remember this day.

It is also the end of Matt's annual trip to BONESAW (you gotta say it that way), which is a weekend away with his brothers and other like minded men to play board games and eat a lot of meat.  It is also the end of the longest five days of my life.  Well, perhaps not of my life, but home alone with the three monkeys for 5 days was pretty rough.  If something could go wrong, it went wrong.  Here's the crazy list.

• I got severely sunburned at the pool, in spite of sunscreen.  (not a disaster, but pretty painful) 
• Kid #2 had a near drowning experience at that same pool.  Thankfully he did not aspirate any water.
• Kid #2 finally figured he could unlock and open the front door, and Kid #3 (who is an infant) went on a walkabout without me.  Thankfully I caught him halfway down the tall front porch steps and he didn't make it to the street, or crack his head open falling down the steps.
• AC went out.  On a Friday night, just before a holiday weekend.  Grateful that they came on Saturday to fix it!
• Kid #3 eschewed sleeping during the day in favor of staying up all day and freaking out and being a grump.  I put the kibosh on that pretty quickly.  Mama ain't got time for all that.
• AC guy and electrician arrived at just the same moment to fix different things.  It felt pretty chaotic.  Thankful that all the work got done.  (It was in this chaos that the baby escaped.)
• New tenant moved in to our little cottage and promptly clogged the toilet.  She called me at 7am on Sunday.  I think she saw my kitchen light come on and figured I was awake.  (The one down side of being so close to our rental.  Most everything else is an up side.) Actually I am pretty sure this one was my fault for trying a trick I read about which is to leave a small piece of Magic Eraser in the toilet bowl to dissolve and it will take out stubborn stains.  I guess it didn't dissolve (and was too big of a piece) and someone tried to flush it.  A quick tutorial via youtube and I was off to the hardware store for a toilet auger with my three monkeys.  They stayed buckled in the car right outside the cottage door while I snaked the toilet.  My tenant, a cute, tiny little gal, called me "Quite the woman!!"  I didn't argue.  The weekend was feeling like a Herculean feat at that point.
• On Friday, I got an email reminder from our children's director that I was scheduled to work in the church nursery and since this was the last Sunday on the schedule, there really wasn't anyone to switch with.  She kindly reminded us of the verse, "Do all things without grumbling or disputing. (Phil 2:14)" and so I emailed back to say me and all the kids would be in my nursery class together.  Sunday night rolled around and we all made it there on time and had a pretty good evening with 6 other 18mo-2 yr olds.  Kid #3 only escaped once and another mom grabbed him up for me and brought him back by the time I realized he was gone.  That kid.  We are gonna need a fence.

We made it.  I'm glad.  I'm tired.  I am thankful.  I am going to bed early.

Girly Girls

When Judah takes his morning nap (if that happens - nap wars have begun), then Cora and I take a little time for just us.  A craft project, a picnic, a tea party, a long story (her attention span amazes me!), or just a little girly girl time.  This girl loves to be fancy and while I spend a lot of time reminding her that she is beautiful even if she is not wearing pink (tears, I tell ya, over having to wear a t-shirt and shorts, not a pink dress), I love to indulge her love of fancy ever so often. 

And now Matt and I are hard at work at reminding her that beauty is not something that she wears or how she looks, but something that comes from inside her heart.

Grateful

Things are still tight around here. It takes awhile to dig out from under 5 months of being unemployed, the birth of a baby, an uninsured trip to the ER, etc. I get lost in the minutiae of my day, budget, and how in the world am I going to feed two adults, one large dog, a cat, and a sweet baby girl on $20 for the week. (Dog food costs $20 alone!) But then I am reminded in the most subtle of ways how blessed I am. I have a home, a family that is all together, and so much more. So here's a little list of things I am grateful for today.

1. This little family. My little family! Matt, just the other day, while Cora sat in her chair babbling on and on over dinner, said in wonder, "She's ours!" and I know just what he means. Add to that my favorite fella and I'm saying to myself in wonder "They're mine!"

2. Summer! Oh, I love summer. I don't mind the heat (thanks iced tea!), I don't mind the bugs thanks 'Off'!), I don't mind the sweat. Really. I love the green, the golden light, the blue, blue sky, the birds, the grass beneath my feet, and swimming - my favorite thing. I watch Freckles lay in a sun spot in the yard and just sniff the fragrant air. I could do the same thing! Can't you just drink it?

3. Hands that work. I took them for granted for so long and then when I was pregnant, couldn't use them for anything without severe pain. Now I can knit, I can sew, I can write and I can revel in the pain-free-ness (nope, that isn't a word!) of it all. Delicious! Bring on the craft projects!

4. Sisters. I have three! I love my brothers too, but there is something about sisters. Sisters that are all (except for the youngest) mamas. There is a new connection there as we sort through the old wounds of the past when we were not so nice to each other. There was a time when I couldn't have spent a week with ANY of my family, but years (and therapy!) have begun to heal the past. I love my sisters.

5. Friends. Friendships have always been hard for me. Mostly because of my own insecurities and being the human equivalent of a steamroller. Yes. Me. I know! You are all just shocked, right? But I think I'm finally mellowing and friendships are easier and more of a blessing, now, more than ever. (and will miss when they move, and miss already cause they HAVE moved)

6. Music. To make, to hear, to use as a form of worship. It's easy to get inundated here in Music City and to become jaded. I've been jaded for a long time about music. It is slowly becoming a joyful thing again. Not something to be judged upon. Just created and sung with a grateful heart to the sky, the wall, the babe, the dog, to no one. Just singing, playing and being. I love this!

7. Snuggles and tiny bits. I'm figuring out a rhythm (for this week!) for putting my baby to sleep. She needs to snuggle, to talk, to wiggle, to rub her face on the blankets, to rub her eyes, to scooch up next to me, to roll all over me, all the while saying 'La la la la la' and then close her eyes and sleep. I have to slow down. To be in the moment. To practice patience when piles of laundry still are living in suitcases!! To let go and just love her with snuggles (and to munch on those tiny toes!!).

8. Morning - I AM a morning person, daggonit and I won't be ashamed of it any more! All of you grumpy bears who need coffee to get started, I don't understand you. My feet the floor and I am off. Baby in stroller, dog tied to stroller, saying a cheerful 'Good Morning' to all of my bleary eyed neighbors. I love the morning!

The Papa Bear's day

Today we celebrate the Papa Bear. No words can tell you how grateful I am for this man and how he loves his baby girl, so I'll just say it in photos.
Honey, you are the best Papa Bear ever. Happy Father's Day!

And now for your secret present. Go and look in the Baby Bear's room, where all of her blankets live. Love you!!

to be called Mama

The day is drawing to a close and I have had a great one. Time with hubby, a little bit of church (left early with baby bear and I feeling a bit feverish), yummy breakfast, a fancy dinner out last night and best of all, a baby bear of my own who calls me Mama (or will some day).

I turned to the Geek today and thanked him for making me a mama. I thanked God for this precious gift and gazed in wonder at this tiny girl, who is the reason I am celebrated today. It's a precious and scary thing to be called Mama. It's a lot to live up to! I know I can't do it on my own. I have to rely on Someone bigger than myself. That is my nightly prayer over sleeping babe. That I may lean on God and somehow, through all my faults, failings and flaws, teach her about His love. That I may live a life that points to Jesus. Not a perfect life, but one that can be used to lead this little one to Him.

Here's our Mother's Day photos taken at MOMS club. I'm so grateful to finally be IN a photo with the bug. I'm usually the photographer! (I swear this child will think her Papa is the only one who ever held her if she goes according to photos)


And finally a big kiss and hug across the miles to my own Mama. The most amazing woman I've ever known. I love you Mama!

New Specs

And the blessings just keep coming. You'll remember that I broke my glasses last week, but in spite of my determination to go through my days with hot glue holding my glasses together, someone offered to get new ones for me. How awesome is that?! (This person didn't want to be on the blog, so I'm leaving them anonymous)

So here they are...my new specs and before anyone says so, because I know you will think it, I'll go ahead and say it, since I love this about them..."Jinkies!!"

Bring on the Produce!

Avalon Acres Farm is starting their CSA soon! For those of you who don't know what CSA is, it stands for Community Supported Agriculture. It means that people in the community buy a share of produce from the farm (or collective of farms in this case) and get a weekly return of produce, meat, eggs and bread (all or some of these, depending on the type of share). We did it last year and loved it! It took some getting used to, since I had to learn how to cook some new (to me) types of produce and I think this year I'll freeze more so we aren't throwing food away. Hmmm. Just think! Homemade baby food from farm produce. That makes me happy.

Anyhoo. We didn't think we could afford it this year, what with the layoff and all, but they are giving us a little extra help since they know the Geek is unemployed! I thought that was so kind! I hope he finds a job soon so we can, in turn, offer them our support. Here's a link where you can sign up! Summer CSA.

As an aside, we are overwhelmed by the support our neighborhood, both local and virtual, has given us. I have yet to have to buy clothes for our baby what with the bags and bags of cute hand-me-downs, a sweet friend (from high school!) send us a large box from diapers.com filled with formula and baby veggies, two other friends bought the baby bear a box of formula, just out of the blue. A childhood friend, that I haven't seen in probably 17 years, sent us a check that helped us cover our mortgage. People we don't know, but are a part of our neighborhood google group, have dropped off formula...the list goes on and on. We are loved and provided for!! I am so very grateful.

(the images in this post were included in emails from Avalon Acres Farms last year. Gorgeous produce huh?)

On the cheap - a day in the park

I'm a bad, bad chronicler, at least in terms of photos. The baby bear and I packed our lunch to join other mamas in the park for a (free) get-together. Shelby Park is one of the loveliest parks in our fair city with the Cumberland river running right beside acres and acres of wooded hills. I love that park. *sigh* Because of rainy days previous to our alfresco adventure, I brought along a huge tarp to share with other mamas. Everyone should own a tarp, I personally feel. And an umbrella to protect my delicate baby's skin from the midday sun. It's such a nice colorful umbrella! Then you look more closely and realize it's one of those artsy umbrellas and this one sports a repeating image of 'The Scream' by Edvard Munch. A bit creepy, but it was free so there. But I digress!

Sadly only one other mama showed up to our Baby Mama meetup. Oh well. She and I had such a nice time anyway! We talked about layoffs, cloth diapering, coupons, the works! I snacked on a pb&h (peanut butter and honey) sandwich while trying not to drool over her burger.

The baby bear thought the umbrella was the 'bees knees' and told me and the umbrella so, a lot! Then she fell asleep in the shade of the oak tree we camped under whose leaves were still hanging on from the autumn (brown and shriveled), wrapped in a blanket to keep the breeze off of her toes. I did take a photo of that.


Then home with pink cheeks and full senses from a lovely day in the park! She fell asleep in her bed, all tuckered out with something new...a lovey. She had her pick of all of the ones we were given and this is how I found her when I went to check on her.



A whole day of soaking up spring. Cost? Not a thing.

Baby Shower...an explosion of pink

I'm very glad we found out what we were having. I love that I get to have girly clothes for my baby girl! Although I was forced to wear pink as a child (thanks Laura Ingalls Wilder!) my girl won't have to. She just can if she wants too.

I'm just gonna put the photos up. They speak for themselves. I do want to say that the best gift I got was, as I opened each present, the person giving told a funny story about me, or had a prayer or a wish for me, the Geek and our baby girl. It was the most encouraging time I have ever spent! I was nearly full to bursting with all of the love I heard from my dear friends yesterday. Thank you all! And now for photos:

Want one!

No idea what it is, or who makes it, but it's a GREEN BUBBLE CAR! How can one pass this up?

Hands, Come back!

I am so anxious to knit!! The weather is perfect, I have lots of patterns I'd like to do, but OH my hands (lack of feeling in them) continue to plague me! Think of the baby things I could be making RIGHT NOW! Oh, I could cry. I could press on and do it, but ONE minute with the needles and I'm in pain and things only get worse from there. If I don't stop, then it progresses and the shooting pain becomes so bad it keeps me up all night. So instead I'm going to post all the things I WILL be knitting when she gets here. Poor girl, born into the world in DECEMBER with no snuggly knits to wear. Where is Gramma when you need her? Oh right. She doesn't knit. But enough griping! On to cuteness!

I'll do this for her (minus the floofy stuff)

from here

I think her room needs this too:

from here but perhaps in greens, browns, greys and pinks. Whaddya think?

This for when she's a little bigger:

from here

These (could you just die!)

From here

This (for me) just because:

from here

Isn't THIS cute! I'm not sure about the pink.

From here

How about these for her AND me to keep our toes toasty?

from here

There's just so much I'd like to be doing right now. It's my way of having to learn patience right? I'm trying.

Oh, and these...

from here

Chilly!

Finally the Summer heat has given way to cooler Fall weather. It's about time! A favorite blogger of mine has been writing that it's wool sock weather where she lives! Of course, that is Maine, but just the same, I'd like my share of the toasty warm sock wearing weather.

Aside: (like in Shakespeare) In case you haven't heard, wool socks are my secret boyfriend, a term I bestow upon inanimate objects that make me happy. I'm serious! Check out my amazon wish list!! It's full of SmartWool socks. No lie, and knitting books, music, and other books I'd like. This is Not a birthday plug, I promise. I just really have a thing for wool socks, (SOOO much warmer than cotton) although I have yet to knit a pair. I like mine with more stretch than I am capable of producing...but I digress.

Fall weather makes me very happy. I love sweaters, but this is really the only time I get to wear them. Before too much longer, people start cranking the furnaces up and when I go into a house or a building, it is usually so warm that I have to dress in layers and am down to the lowest level (aside from bra!) soon after I get there because 1. I'm hot natured anyway and 2. I am currently equipped with my own onboard heater!

Here's my current favorite snuggly sweater.

Please ignore my serious lack of maternity jeans. These are just my regular xtra big ones!

Yesterday I went to our local natural market's fall fest and wouldn't you know it, forgot my camera! Rats. Several friends were there with their wee ones and we spent time talking while the children ran around. It was so cool and fresh. There was a mini petting zoo which included a Llama, sheep, goats, a calf, bunnies, ducks, and chickens. I'm not overly thrilled by the prospect of petting farm animals, just because I don't find sheep and goats to be that cuddly and while I was near it, the calf took a leak. Hmmm. Un-savory. The bunnies I could handle, the ducks ran away from ALL the children and having grown up with chickens, I can't imagine why anyone would want to pet them. I think we caught lice from them one time as kids (chicken feathers as hair decoration)...special! I wish I could share all those little faces and animals in the late afternoon sunlight, giggling and squealing, chasing animals and timidly reaching out a hand to touch them and then quickly pulling back, but it has to stay inside my head, alas.

I like this whole stay at home (soon to be) mom thing. It means I get more time with friends. I had such sweet conversations with all of those gals yesterday. I wish I could bottle that kind of afternoon and drink it on rainy days.

In utero rocking to Gabe Dixon Band

I took a good nap this afternoon and went to hear the Gabe Dixon Band as well as spend my hoarded allowance on their new CD. It rocked, of course. Baby girl loved it too. She wiggled a lot! They played at the Belcourt which is always nice since it's also a theatre and the sound is great, but not so loud I have to wear earplugs. I've posted about this band before, here, and since it wasn't that long ago, I'll spare you another fangirl rant. Suffice it say, I had great time. More in the am. Good night!

Opinions get you everywhere! tM&tG in print!

The Musician and the Geek made it into print in our local rag called 'The Nashville Scene' in an article called Scooter Blues. I guess all my ranting about Will Hoge in this post came up in google searches. My neighbor Jan's tales of road burn were a focal point of the article as the described her brush with serious injury.

"Interviewed at the scene by Channel 5, Sgt. Bob Sheffield summed up the dilemma scooter and motorcycle riders face every time they buzz into traffic. "I guess the burden of safety is on the motorcycle rider [or] scooter rider," he said. "They are in, I mean, on a much smaller vehicle and, you know, a lot harder for folks in passenger vehicles to observe them."

The comment drew ire on message boards and blogs around town immediately. Local blogger The Musician and the Geek fumed at what she described as a "shining example of tactlessness."

"Too bad Will's thoughtless actions as the 'smaller vehicle' nearly cost him his life!" a post from Aug. 21 read. "Since the 'burden of safety is on the...scooter rider,' I guess it's his own fault that he hit the side of a van!"

But Metro Police Dept. spokesperson Kris Mumford insists Sheffield's message was purely educational. "He simply wanted to say it is important for people on scooters and motorcycles to be aware that they aren't as visible," Mumford says. "It was not his intention at all in any way to blame Mr. Hoge." "

Go here for the entire article. I'm glad scooter issues are getting notice around the city. If I wasn't sportin' a baby belly, we'd have joined the crowd long ago...but how do you strap a car seat to a moped? (answer: you can't.)

A beautiful end to a beautiful day

Shakes, you Rock Star you.

It began with sweet time with my Geek in the afternoon, then off to a lovely picnic (courtesy of one gift card - Thanks Skip and Hilary!) followed by Shakespeare in the Park for a rousing political and stripped bare production of Shakespeare's Coriolanus. Which I had never heard of, but did bring about much political discussion between the Geek and myself which then lent itself to spiritual discussion. Such a complex political play! It seemed eerily like the current political atmosphere! How great that something written nearly 400 years ago could continue to be so relevant. The Geek liked all the battle action and fight scenes plus the acting and the political statement it made. (but I imagine the action was high on the list given my sweet Geek likes movies best when things blow up) I liked the complex nature of the plot, plus hating the villans, which Shakespeare always pushes the audience toward so adeptly. The weather was perfect, cool and clear. Some thoughtful person burned a small 'OFF' candle near us and bugs weren't a problem at all. We had comfy camp chairs, a camp table, and lovely dinner, all in the twilight of one of Nashvegas' most lovely parks.

Aside from the little conglomeration of college freshman very nearly acting out Myspace or facebook live in front of us before the show started, it was quite an enjoyable experience! (and even they added to the social commentary) The pre-show band regaled us with 'community dance music from the 1300's to the present.' I loved how the folks behind me labeled them as 'bluegrass.' Hee hee! Such lovely 'new to Nashville' ignorance. I resisted correcting them. Check the band, the Contrarian Ensemble, out here.

Now it is nearing midnight and I am wondering at the wisdom of consuming nearly half of the 'half-gallon bucket' of sweet tea offered by the fried chicken supplier of our picnic. Too much caffeine, I'll bet. However, during a rush on the ladies room, I got a free pass to the front of the line due to 'obvious pregnant belly' proceeding me where ever I go. YAY! The perks are sweet. I'm off to attempt sleep. Hopefully my dinner will wear off soon and I can rest. The Geek's brother is coming tomorrow to stay with us for a week or so, so I fully expect the two of them to geek out the entire time. I may not even see him! (hopefully that won't happen)

Sausage toes (and fingers) and BFG pigeon

I officially had to take off my wedding ring for fear that I would swell too much to wear it and have to have it cut off. I feel kinda naked without it. The Geek and I went to an ultrasound this morning to follow up on all the craziness from before and it seems all is well. The good-intentioned tech tried to get an image of her face, but it's always weird since they aren't taking a real photo, but a sound image, so you can see her bones in her arm and face. Creepy!

The Geek has been reading The BFG, by Roald Dahl to the belly and me. It is hilariously funny to read. I tend to have a strange vocabulary when I am being silly and we have been realizing that this vocabulary came from BFG speak that I heard when my Uncle Steve read me and my siblings this book as children. I was perhaps 6 years old. Strawbuncles = strawberries, etc. I had forgotten where I learned these references and now we look at each other and laugh when he reads a word that I've been saying all these years, but he'd never heard of before me.

As for the sausage toes, I have them. The doc, today, said it probably won't go away for the next 3 months and I just have to get used to it. DO NOT WANT!! I drink enough water to make me float away, but still, I am poofy. Ah well. I get to have a massage next week and it seems to help some with the swelling.

Gabe Dixon Band - so much good music, so little allowance left!

The second album to make my 'must haves' this week! Whoa! The Gabe Dixon band led by the amazing Gabe Dixon will rock your face off. The next Stevie Wonder and THAT is saying something.
Read about this new album here.
Check out the songs here.
Join me here on September 12th to watch him rock out if you live in Nashvegas. He and the band put on a great show! Plus the Belcourt is just a happenin' little old movie theatre.
Watch this video to hear a bit of one of the most talented songwriters in the city right now.

Iron Man in the real world!

Stressful days = Bed Rest...or Hard Headed Woman Strikes Back!

When will I ever learn? I know all the moms out there say it's normal to have these every other week freak-outs, but they stress me and the baby out, not to mention the hubby who just sits there wide eyed while I shriek on and on about whatever I've got stuck in my craw. I'm going to have to learn to meditate or something. I am too freaking high strung right now for my own (or my baby's) good. I just don't have room in my brain or emotions to get all worked up about anything these days unless I want to spend the following day lying around, breathing through Braxton Hicks contractions and hoping everything stays put. Happy Friday to me. (sigh)

On a good note, the bug went in for a little repair yesterday (sticky throttle) and they charged us $0, since it was something that happened when the put the new engine in. $0 car repair is something I can handle!

Lucky me

This has long been my favorite medium for griping to the world or taking a small stand against the injustice of the world, even if only my friends read it, but I have been thinking how I hardly mention the good things. I do that with almost every element of my life. It's like the splinter in my finger that I can't help picking at, even though the rest of me feels fine. So here's a list of things I am grateful for today. It is by no means comprehensive!

1. A wonderful husband. Hands down the best man in the world for me who loves me through my baby induced mental breakdowns, works hard at a job he hates, takes care of his family, is smart, funny and loving, and for whom I'd stick around while he built a rocket.
2. A wonderful baby. I still hesitate to call the baby 'she' but since the ultrasound said it's pretty likely, I'd better get used to it. She wiggled all night and I am so glad to finally feel her squiggling around in there. It was a bit disconcerting for half a moment and then I realize what it was!
3. A house to keep me warm, dry, and safe.
4. Friends (like you) who listen when I talk and who share my life with me making the burdens a little lighter and the joys even sweeter, even when I forget I have friends and go have a good baby induced cry on my bed because 'I have no friends.' It's pitiful really. I need a list by the fridge of people I can call when I forget I am loved.
5. A job. Not that it's the most exciting thing on the planet, but it pays the bills and the people are wonderful to work with
6. My health - I can still walk, talk, breathe, sing, swim and though I have little things (like the 'splinter') that irritate me, I am healthy and I am grateful for that.
7. Music. I got to sing this weekend at a conference with some friends and loved it. There's something about being on stage. Perhaps that's the showoff in me, but I am grateful none the less.
8. Sunshine. I love sunshine. I miss it when it's gone. Seriously. I get crabby.
9. Family - they make me insane, but I wouldn't trade them for anything! As I learn to let go, I enjoy them more. So they aren't the Cleavers, but they are pretty cool.
10. Sleep. I am about to miss this like crazy in a few more months so for now, I am grateful for 6-8 hours
11. Peaches - the CSA (community supported Agriculture) brought us sweet peaches this week and I have to say, I never really liked peaches before I tasted them fresh from the farm and not fresh from the refrigerated truck where they've been for a week or 2!
12. Freckles - my sweet pup who has been with me forever and still loves me when I am too tired and/or lazy to take her for walks. (she doesn't rank 12th in my heart, it's just how it came out. I like her more than peaches...well...sometimes)
13. Naartjie (pronounced Narchie)
my bug who runs like a champ in spite of being older than me!
14. the steps...all 12 of them, and the people who help me climb them, one at a time.
15. Jesus. Nuf said, since there aren't words for me to say how grateful I am.
16. Gizmo who provides us with unending entertainment and missing fridge magnets.
17. Swimming pools
18. Ears to hear with
19. Eyes to see with
20. Hands to hold with
21. A mind to learn with
22. That I don't always have to be right. A wise person once asked me if I'd rather be right or happy. I'd rather be happy and let everyone else try to be right. Being right never makes me feel good. Just like a know-it-all, or resentful when everyone else doesn't see how very right I am.
23. My guitar who's case is currently in need of a fresh application of duct tape (200 mile per hour tape) to keep it together, but still sounds as sweet as the day I paid way too much for it seeing as I was a beginner!
24. The interwebs! at least the good parts
25. Moleskin journals that smell new, to write in with archival pens so my journals won't be erased by time and random water leaks
26. For endings to things so I can look forward to the beginning of something new.