Friday, February 27, 2009

Can I just escape?

I'm having a hard day. I want to crawl into bed, next to my little girl and not wake up until morning. Maybe things will be different tomorrow. I am grateful that I got to spend time with other mamas today.

Monday, February 23, 2009

I don't Wanna!

I have a list of things that need to be done around here, but I don't wanna do them. I just wanna sit around and play with my baby. When she's asleep I sit around and do all the things I can't do while she's awake, but none of them are responsible things that need to be done, just the fun stuff. I miss her when she sleeps. Is that weird? Hmmm.

Still no job, but maybe an interview for the Geek next week. Still no clean dishes, but maybe tomorrow. Still no organized coupons, but at least I cut them out. Still no exercise routine, but at least I'm thinking about working out instead of making cookies (and bought more veggies to cut up for snacks today). Still no sofa fixed, but at least for that I have an excuse. The Geek has put the kibosh on all extraneous spending out until he has a job, so parts for the sofa have to wait. I guess I should have waited to dismantle the sofa, huh.

Still don't know if I'll get to go to TX. I am hoping so.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Happy Valentines Day! (Early, so I don't forget)

And here's a little Valentine Cupid to make it all that much more sweet.

Don't Panic!!

I'm really trying not to. The Geek lost his job shortly before Christmas and now the severance package is drawing to a close. We still have medial bills from the baby bear's birth (that we didn't have enough savings to cover), and I am wondering what in the WORLD we are going to do! I am desperately trying to remember that my husband is not my provider. God is. I need to remember that!! The Geek is weighed down by all of this and I can tell it's effecting him, both in heart and mind. He suggested I go stay with my parents until he finds a job, but I'm not sure that will be the best plan. I don't want to be apart.

I really struggle with this whole 'God is my provider' thing. What if God wants us to learn a hard lesson about our finances and is letting us fall on our face before he picks us up? The scripture about him 'chastening' us so we learn keeps running around in my head. I'm asking for bread and it feels like I'm getting the stone! It's hard not to get into panic and fear (my hangers-on of old) when I know that the last check is on it's way to us and after that, (although not immediately) we could lose the house and default on our bills! That's worst case scenario, I know, but I feel like it's there, like a cliff I'm being pushed toward.

I don't understand the plan, but I'm supposed to trust and do what He asks me to. So what are you asking me to do?

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Just be

I have a lovely cousin who's blog is based on a quote.

"Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings." ~ Jane Austen

That is been my life as of late. Naptimes, mom groups, more naptimes, nursing (just for comfort), bottles, walks with mom friends, laundry that miraculously replicates before my eyes, dishes, dinner and sleeping. It goes like this every day. Day in, day out. I wake up and giggle with my girl and the rest of the day goes by in a blur. This used to bother me when she first got here. I am starting to adjust. To slow down, to let things go that don't matter and just be. It's nice.
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