Grateful

Things are still tight around here. It takes awhile to dig out from under 5 months of being unemployed, the birth of a baby, an uninsured trip to the ER, etc. I get lost in the minutiae of my day, budget, and how in the world am I going to feed two adults, one large dog, a cat, and a sweet baby girl on $20 for the week. (Dog food costs $20 alone!) But then I am reminded in the most subtle of ways how blessed I am. I have a home, a family that is all together, and so much more. So here's a little list of things I am grateful for today.

1. This little family. My little family! Matt, just the other day, while Cora sat in her chair babbling on and on over dinner, said in wonder, "She's ours!" and I know just what he means. Add to that my favorite fella and I'm saying to myself in wonder "They're mine!"

2. Summer! Oh, I love summer. I don't mind the heat (thanks iced tea!), I don't mind the bugs thanks 'Off'!), I don't mind the sweat. Really. I love the green, the golden light, the blue, blue sky, the birds, the grass beneath my feet, and swimming - my favorite thing. I watch Freckles lay in a sun spot in the yard and just sniff the fragrant air. I could do the same thing! Can't you just drink it?

3. Hands that work. I took them for granted for so long and then when I was pregnant, couldn't use them for anything without severe pain. Now I can knit, I can sew, I can write and I can revel in the pain-free-ness (nope, that isn't a word!) of it all. Delicious! Bring on the craft projects!

4. Sisters. I have three! I love my brothers too, but there is something about sisters. Sisters that are all (except for the youngest) mamas. There is a new connection there as we sort through the old wounds of the past when we were not so nice to each other. There was a time when I couldn't have spent a week with ANY of my family, but years (and therapy!) have begun to heal the past. I love my sisters.

5. Friends. Friendships have always been hard for me. Mostly because of my own insecurities and being the human equivalent of a steamroller. Yes. Me. I know! You are all just shocked, right? But I think I'm finally mellowing and friendships are easier and more of a blessing, now, more than ever. (and will miss when they move, and miss already cause they HAVE moved)

6. Music. To make, to hear, to use as a form of worship. It's easy to get inundated here in Music City and to become jaded. I've been jaded for a long time about music. It is slowly becoming a joyful thing again. Not something to be judged upon. Just created and sung with a grateful heart to the sky, the wall, the babe, the dog, to no one. Just singing, playing and being. I love this!

7. Snuggles and tiny bits. I'm figuring out a rhythm (for this week!) for putting my baby to sleep. She needs to snuggle, to talk, to wiggle, to rub her face on the blankets, to rub her eyes, to scooch up next to me, to roll all over me, all the while saying 'La la la la la' and then close her eyes and sleep. I have to slow down. To be in the moment. To practice patience when piles of laundry still are living in suitcases!! To let go and just love her with snuggles (and to munch on those tiny toes!!).

8. Morning - I AM a morning person, daggonit and I won't be ashamed of it any more! All of you grumpy bears who need coffee to get started, I don't understand you. My feet the floor and I am off. Baby in stroller, dog tied to stroller, saying a cheerful 'Good Morning' to all of my bleary eyed neighbors. I love the morning!