I know that you and I have been together since I was 18, but things have changed. You were so young and cool then with your little red stamp! I remember it had an 'H' paving the way for the future. You were so cutting edge, so 'in the now'! You showed up, just when I needed you and you didn't bring your baggage into the relationship. Granted, I had to choose this totally weird name to be with you, but it was worth it then. I mean, the other option was my University's crap email system called PINE. Which some idiot hacked and spammed the life out of everyone, making it unusable. Yes, even in 1996. I know. It was was a sign of things to come.
Oh the innocence of you. What we had was so sweet. No MSN or crazy microsoft gradoo hanging around. It was just the two of us. I loved you hotmail! Little did I know, not long after we met, you began your sordid little affair with Bill and all his money!! I'll never understand your relationship with him. He's such a NERD!! I guess money can make you turn a blind eye when you are in bed with a geek. But even your secret big bad sugar daddy forgot to pay the light bill and where were we Christmas day, 1999? IN THE DARK!! Even I know not to trust a sugar daddy.
Your attempts to change for the better never worked. You said you installed a security system, but your "security system" was really your idiot friends standing guard at our front door, shoving everyone I know and love aside and making them wait in the yard. I had to go outside and and escort them in myself!! Even if I took the time to point out my friends to your guards and say, "Let this one come see me. Remember, she has on a green shirt and jeans and her name is Julie"...well, then every moron who showed up in a green shirt and jeans your idiot guards just let in the door, but still stuck Julie out in the yard, waiting. Forever. Until she went away after 5 days. It was rough, but we got through it. "At least," I thought, "he's trying!"
You went and got help. Tried to grow with the times and the next thing I know, you are coming home in flashy silk suits with a stray blond hair stuck to the lapel. You fixed your teeth, dyed your hair, went on a diet and I never saw it coming. Ok, that's not true. I had a small clue when I saw the icon of things to come. I just didn't think that she'd show up and shove me out the door! Hotmail, if I had wanted your stepbrother Outlook, I could be wit HIM. But the truth is, I didn't want him. I wanted you.
So I guess people change, they grow apart, they create mergers that the other partner isn't happy about. I put up with the MSN thing and the teasing about your name and how hotmail could be 'hot male'. I was FAITHFUL Hotmail! Why Hotmail!? All my friends left. They got gmail or yahoo or other cool new endtags to their emails, but not me. I stuck around. And this is the thanks I get in return?
Fine, be 'live', be 'cool', get that windows logo tatooed to your butt! You can have all the younger crowd swarming around you, but they will never love you like I did. This generation is fickle. You are always going to have to dye your hair that color. They'll never let you grow old gracefully. Someday, when you are tired and aching with the gadgets that load you down, you are going to look back and ask yourself, "Why did I ever let her go? She loved me for who I was!" but by then, google and I will have settled down, raised a family and I will have forgotten about our life together...almost.
No comments:
Post a Comment