Dichotomy

Today I spent several hours cooking, cleaning, reading a book written in the 30's, scanning over the farm blog and getting twitter updates!

One one hand, the world of L.M. Montgomery seems so homey and lovely with life revolving around the family unit, the warmth of the kitchen stove, and nature. Then add to that the simple life of the farmers who, every Sunday, supply me with fresh fruit, veg, eggs, and meat from their hand tilled land. I long for the simplicity of it all, with perhaps not the added burden of having to make and wear those classic blue dresses. It just all seems so sweet. Yet, the romanticized version leaves out the tremendous amount of hard work that made my current state an often dangerous one for women at the turn of the century, (I can't speak for current Amish families giving birth to their babies).

And then there is my little world here in which I sit perched on my couch, blogging and getting updates from friends around the world via my cell phone. My handy vacuum cleaner in the closet, my new fangled car outside, and sweet, sweet air conditioning. (not that on a clean, rainy day like today I need it) I don't mind it. In fact I enjoy it.

But to pursue one life is to lose the benefits of the other and in this moment, I want the benefits of both. I want the simple natural life of living on a farm, without having to milk anything or pull weeds, but I would feel cut off from the world if I didn't know what the world was like outside my little fences. I want to have all my modern conveniences, but often I feel like my modern conveniences are making my life busy and filled up with stuff, noise, confusion, deadlines, and eye strain!

I have never been a good one for balance but I am hoping to learn it. Perhaps there is a way to both slow down and keep up. For today I can just revel in the moment, accepting where I am, the state of my body, mind, heart, and laundry and just be here. My little girl is wiggling and sqiggling all over the place inside me, my bigger and bigger cat is sleeping in a fuzzy spotted ball in the arm chair across the room, the dog is curled up in her cave (ie, her crate with a big old couch cushion and comforter in there), summer sounds of cicadas singing on the trees, the rain brought cool sweet air today and will bring even more fresh food from the farms, and every day, my hubs and I are finding sweet, quiet moments in which to grow deeper in love, friendship, and relationship. That's pretty good when you think about it and so, I am content.