My friend Mandy posted about how she felt quiet about this Christmas and I have to say, I feel the same way. I don't want to get presents. I don't want to give presents. I don't want Santa or hubbub, or shopping (although I'm still keen on the food). I just want to be with people I love and celebrate the birth of Jesus.
It's pretty concrete to have a little one in our house, and it brings new realism while thinking of Mary, giving birth in a stable and then the worries of keeping a little one warm and fed, far from her family, in a foreign country with a guy she was betrothed to and probably didn't know all that well. I live in a large warm house, my husband is here and loves us, we have food and friends and support and although the Geek got 'put in the resource pool' (ie laid off with severance pay for a few months) at work we still have it pretty great. My angel baby sleeps like a dream for a 2 week old (adjusted age)/7 week old baby. (In fact, she sleeps a little TOO much! I'm such a worry wart...)
The clouds are racing across the December sky today, giving me flashes of much needed sunshine and honestly, I am feeling much better. Still, how can I celebrate my Jesus? My life is still a flurry of 3 hour segments, but in the quiet moments when she's asleep, my heart asks that question. I'm still thinking on it.
2 comments:
I COMPLETELY agree.
Hey girlie, I completely agree as well. I have everything I need. And there are so many around us who are really in need. But I desperately want it to be different this year. Anyways, I'm wrestling with the same question- how to be this Christmas. I think the answer is pretty simple- worship. With my life, my words, my actions, my heart. Simple, but hard when life and the noise and the fluff that fills our head crowds it out...
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