I'm really trying not to. The Geek lost his job shortly before Christmas and now the severance package is drawing to a close. We still have medial bills from the baby bear's birth (that we didn't have enough savings to cover), and I am wondering what in the WORLD we are going to do! I am desperately trying to remember that my husband is not my provider. God is. I need to remember that!! The Geek is weighed down by all of this and I can tell it's effecting him, both in heart and mind. He suggested I go stay with my parents until he finds a job, but I'm not sure that will be the best plan. I don't want to be apart.
I really struggle with this whole 'God is my provider' thing. What if God wants us to learn a hard lesson about our finances and is letting us fall on our face before he picks us up? The scripture about him 'chastening' us so we learn keeps running around in my head. I'm asking for bread and it feels like I'm getting the stone! It's hard not to get into panic and fear (my hangers-on of old) when I know that the last check is on it's way to us and after that, (although not immediately) we could lose the house and default on our bills! That's worst case scenario, I know, but I feel like it's there, like a cliff I'm being pushed toward.
I don't understand the plan, but I'm supposed to trust and do what He asks me to. So what are you asking me to do?
2 comments:
Try praying for something different. Maybe instead of which way to go, pray for a clear mind and open heart to what may be right in front of you. Sometimes it is only the peace on our hearts that we need. Even though it may be hard, do put your trust in Him and He will carry you through. We love you and so does our Lord.
Mindi :)
BTW you are sooooo cute in that picture. Your facial expressions are much the same now. Adorable!
I have wrestled with this so much in the last six months. But even more so in the last couple. The Lord reminded me of something though that helped. The state of the economy doesn't nullify who He is, His plans for me, or the fact that He is going to carry them out. It's a non issue. For some reason that reminder helped me.
Romans 4 is also my lifeline. "Against all hope" Abraham in hope believed. And not only did he believe but he gave glory to God for what He was going to do.
Love you bud- sending hugs your way..XOXO
-Mel
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