Lent and Love

I've given up sugar for Lent and let me tell ya, I am not a happy girl.  I willingly admit I am a junkie and crave sugar all the time.  We don't keep sweets in the house because I will eat them in a day, but give me about 10 minutes and I could rustle something up from the ingredients we have!  I'm not being super hard core and checking every label, but if it tastes sweet, I am not eating it.  (I might have to add ketchup to that list since after 5 days of no sugar, it tastes like tomato syrup to me)  I'm not sure how long the detox period will last, but for now, I'm not through it.  The headaches are the worst.

Couple this with the fact that I am doing some serious praying and reading about love, Christ's love for us, among other types and I've got quite the mix on my hands.  I might have just lost my mind.  Showing love, or being mindful of how loving I am when I am on edge and jonesing for something sweet might just be the stupidest plan I've ever undertaken.  So here I am, day 5 and praying for the strength to walk away from my daughter's animal crackers, and biting back all of the angry and ugly words that want to come spilling out of me in response to denying myself my favorite drug.  Not that anyone is being particularly annoying.  Just me, a detoxing junkie over here. 

But that is the purpose of Lent, for me right now, to deny myself a physical pleasure that I may focus on the sacrifice of Christ.  In that way, in my own very small way, I hope to get a glimpse of His sacrifice.  Not that giving up sugar is like giving up one's life, but maybe I can just touch the edge of the thought, and hold it in my mind, in between diapers and feedings and the never ending demands of a newborn and 2 year old who are on conflicting schedules.  Maybe for long enough to understand Love a little more.  I hope so.