Midnight musician

Sometimes, you just gotta wait til everyone goes to bed, pull out the guitar, ignore the schmutz on the carpet that you haven't vacuumed yet and pretend, for just 15 minutes, that you still are a musician, singing and rocking out the acoustic love. And then you write a song about your sweet babies and get all teary eyed and have to stop. Sheesh.

Girly Girls

When Judah takes his morning nap (if that happens - nap wars have begun), then Cora and I take a little time for just us.  A craft project, a picnic, a tea party, a long story (her attention span amazes me!), or just a little girly girl time.  This girl loves to be fancy and while I spend a lot of time reminding her that she is beautiful even if she is not wearing pink (tears, I tell ya, over having to wear a t-shirt and shorts, not a pink dress), I love to indulge her love of fancy ever so often. 

And now Matt and I are hard at work at reminding her that beauty is not something that she wears or how she looks, but something that comes from inside her heart.

Pin tucks, Pleats, and French Seams...

Cause I just need that much more crazy in my life, right?  Judah is fast approaching his baptism.  And though I've made a gown before (for Cora) 1. It is very feminine and 2.  he is a chunk and won't fit in it.  Cora can still wear it (unbuttoned but at 2.5 yrs old!), but my 6 month old baby boy won't fit in it.  So he gets a new one.  And I'm up sewing in dim dining room light until midnight.  I bought a Simplicity pattern and I never remember that I don't like Simplicity!  I like the look of the outfit on the outside, but the inside is all unsightly, unfinished edges and raw seams.  So I add another layer of bodice so I can tuck the skirt in with a little hand stitching (insanity.  I know) and I do french seams on the skirt, so it's nice and tidy.  French seams, for those of you who don't know are when you sew the pieces together (wrong sides facing each other) with the seams on the outside, then you turn it wrong side out (right sides facing each other) and sew the seams again, to tuck them in.  It hides all the raw edges and keeps delicate material from unraveling.  Useful! 

This gown has a lot of pin tucking in it and I am not great at it.  There have been some grumbles and ripping out of seams to get them straight, even with ironing!  Long lines of pin tucks.  Arg!  But I know I will love the end result, so I'll shut up and sew.  Now I know why mothers made one unisex gown for the first baby and every other baby wore the same one.  Because finding time to sew with a 6 month old and a 2 year old who wants nothing more than to "help" me (i.e. play with the pins, crinkle pattern pieces, try pattern pieces on baby brother, and run around with fabric scraps on her head and around her neck because the are "So pretty!"), it's hard to get much done until "dark time" (as it is called around here).  "Sun time" is for mama to mind the kiddos!

6 months of pure joy

Judah celebrated his 1/2 birthday with little fanfare.  A home video.  Some photos.  Hanging out at the house together.  No presents.  He is, after all, only 6 months old.  But I just can't tell you how much I love this boy!  I loved Cora from the day we found out we were pregnant, but when we lost a baby in between Cora and Judah, I was afraid to feel so deeply about him. I was terrified to lose him.  I oscillated between love and fear.  I did love him, but I didn't want to fill his journal up with thoughts of love for him, just to set it aside empty of any further words, with emptiness inside my heart.  It's a good thing God knows what we need.

 

Here he is, hollaring. He has lots to say.

He sent me the most stubborn, most joyful, "eating life" kind of baby imaginable and I am consumed with love for him.  He wakes with a smile for me, and then it's on to business with what we have come to call "the hungry hands".  He puts them in front of him and rubs them together.  Imagine a greedy miser at the sight of money.  That's it.  He used to do this little grunting noise as well, but he's given that up in favor of all out wailing if he doesn't get milk in. his. mouth. within seconds.  I took him in for his 6 month appointment on July 13th.  He's 18lb 5oz and in the 75th percentile for everything.  I tell ya.  He eats life!  (and everything else, apparently)

As for stubborn, it's not something that bothers me, but I can tell he will be strong willed.  Let's call it determination, shall we?  There is no distracting this child from something.  If he wants it, he WILL get it. Or at least try with every chubby ounce until Mama physically moves him or the thing away and out of site.  Then there is sadness.  Oh the sadness.  But it's sadness that quickly turns to joy (unless he's hungry) when I make silly noises or blow raspberries, a skill that I heard him practicing to himself for days until he got it and then he blew his little raspberries at me and anyone else who would give him a giggle.

He has learned to sit up by himself and give him another week and he just might learn to crawl.  Oh, heaven forbid!  We love, love, love him and I love the tender Mama moments I get with this wee chunk of a boy.  He is my little snuggler and I am soaking it all in.  One delicious day at a time.  Happy half birthday, wee man.

Tea for two and two for Tea

My sweet girl and I grab moments where we may.  It may just be 10 minutes out on the porch in the sun having tea with mama's real teapot (from England - thanks Tally!) and her Ikea teacups, but these little bits are precious.  She loves Judah, but the sting of lost Mama time is still there.  I see it when she's tired and wants me to 'get her' (carry her).  So we enjoy our blueberries and raspberry tea ('cause it's pink!) on a heart tablecloth in the sunshine while we may.  She is still, after all, my girl.

Tomorrow, belated (his 1/2 birthday was on the 12th) photos of my 6 month old, in all of his chubby, pink glory.

Through my daughter's eyes

I had a bit of an epiphany today.  Cora and I were watching a music video where the girl singing was all dressed up and looking beautiful, (Katy Perry - Firework.  I had been searching for fireworks photos for her) when she turned to me and said,"That's Mama singing!"
"It is?" I asked.
"Yes.  It's Mama singing," she answered adamantly.

Now let me just say, when I look in the mirror, I do not now, nor have I ever seen anything that resembles Katy Perry.  She is young and beautiful and I've never thought very much of the way I look.  But I realized as I put my little girl to bed, that in her eyes, I am beautiful and a great singer.  (And, apparently have a music video.)  I'm not gonna hem and haw about it, I know I can sing, but comparing me and a rock star?  Not even on my radar. 

Not so, to my little one.  In her eyes, I am that rock star.  It is inspiring.  It is beautiful.  I have a lot to live up to.  Apparently, I'm a firework.  And we all know how she feels about those.

Happy 4th of July!

After last year's "sparkly stars", we were determined to take Cora (and by default, Judah) to the fireworks for Independence Day.  So we packed up the kiddos, and dinner, and blankets and spent the day outside, enjoying friends and a wonderful cookout.  Then when the sun went down, we were treated to some beautiful fireworks and one of the sweetest scenes, as a mother, I've ever seen.  I took a video of Cora, in her Papa's lap, which is such a safe place, of when the first fireworks started to go, but it is far too big to upload here.  At the first one, her mouth dropped open and her hand came up to her mouth in absolute surprise.   I think she liked it.  (Judah did too!) The she and her Papa went to get a better view.  (and to unknowingly give me one of my favorite photos of them.  Ever.)  

So Happy Independence Day folks, and I just gotta say, I am so grateful to be living in this country!

The second EC baby!

Each family has their own way of potty training, and we practice EC, or Elimination Communication.  We did it with our first girl and loved the result, so we practice it again with our little guy.  It's much the same as before, but we had to learn how to aim him!  Now that he's on the big potty, this is not an issue. He just learned to sit up this week, so taking pictures was an exercise in speed, crowd control (Cora wants to be a part of it all), and anticipating his balance.  No one fell off the potty!  So here he is.  Cute, fat, pink, and on the potty.

A glorious day

These summer days are flying past.  We went to Texas for 2 weeks, saw my baby sister get married and now we have the same last name again!  (She married an Evans, but no relation to my Evans), and Judah has been breaking all previously held records around here in terms of eating, sleeping, growing, crawling, and sitting up. (of course, Cora was a preemie and a girl, so therein lies the main difference)  I think to myself that I'm drinking it in by not taking the time to write about it. I tell myself I'm "being present" and I am, but I am not capturing it in the way that I love to capture best, in words and pictures, so I hereby resolve to post more than once per month, or quarter or year, or whatever slacking I've been up to lately.

Thursday we spend the day at the "beach" and by beach I mean a lake beach, sand, but no ocean.  I was a little hesitant to go and since we only have one car it took some juggling, but we made it there by 10am and if this is any indication of how much fun we had, you should know that it was 3pm before we left.  Now that may not seem like a long day to most, but with a 2 year old and a 5 month old, it is no less than epic.  But it was by far the most enjoyable outing we have had.  To date.

I am not kidding!  Cora played with all of her friends and was very independent the entire time, but not in a way that made me nervous (like taking off for the deep water or eating cigarette butts...you know).  I was with the MOMS Club, so there was never a shortage of hands and voices to call or carry her back from any poor decisions, should she make them.  Judah enjoyed the water, ate without much fuss and then took a two and a half hour nap in the shade on the beach.  Two and a half hours, people!!  Not in his bed.  Epic.  I just can't say that word enough.  I had conversations with people,  none of us got sunburned, I didn't feel overwhelmed or wiped out, the summer sun was cooled off by a small cold front and it was actually COOL in the shade, Cora didn't throw a tantrum...I could just go on!  The. best. day.

Since the birth of our second child, these days have been scarce.  Or, dare I say, non-existent.  It hasn't been rough for awhile now, but it has been far from glorious and here it was, just perfect.  We intend to take the Papa Bear next week after work.  It was that good.  And now for photos.  I've cropped most of our friends out since they may or may not want their bathing-suited selves on the 'interwebs'. 

My sweet fat baby, wearing big sister's old swim diaper. We'll call it a "Speedo", shall we?  Just look at those fat thighs!

Getting her "Sea legs" while I feed the baby.

Sand and a plan.  Cora had a vision in mind and woe betide the toddler who stood in her way!  (We had a talk about that.)

Where she spent most of the day

Upon being told we had to leave, after only a mere 5 hours. :(

Tomorrow...an infant using the potty!  Good times.