A knife in the Dark - grateful for the end of long dark days

 

 A spring photo from last March!  My how my girl has grown.

In a book by one of my favorite authors, Laura Ingalls Wilder, called These Happy Golden Years, there is a chapter called "A Knife in the Dark".  In this chapter, a settler's wife, Mrs. Brewster, loses her mind in the dark cold days of winter and goes after her husband with a knife, all while teenage Laura sleeps on the other side of a curtain in the Brewster family home, which if it was built by standard log cabin measurements was smaller than most of our bedrooms.  Good times.

As a kid I was kinda freaked out by Mrs. Brewster's behavior, but after this long wet winter of sharing the car with Matt and being housebound and pregnant with just my two littles for company most days, I started to be able to relate.  Not that I'm ever going to or have ever gone after Matt with a knife, but the tedium and loneliness of these long dark days stuck at home have made it hard to stay cheerful. 

Today was the first time in a long time that the weather was warm and sunny and we got OUT of the house to spend time with friends.  Just talking and relating and connecting.   I am so grateful for that time.  It made all the difference in the world for my mood and how well I am able to parent.  Not in actions, but in my heart.  Often my actions and words are alright (barely), but my heart is angry, or sad, or fearful.  It's hard to do the right thing by these kiddos when I am acting out of that place.

The time change may have done a number on my sleep schedule, but it means the days feel longer and brighter and I'm grateful for that.