Monday, January 04, 2010

A whole new you (or me)

When I was young I looked at the new year as a time to reinvent myself, to become the me I had always wanted to be, but wasn't so far.  Most of that had to do with body image, boyfriends, and somehow morphing into a 'cool girl'.  I never managed according to my lists of new year resolutions and to-do lists, but somehow, I'm alright with where I ended up.

Now, I am by no means perfect, in fact, far from it!  I have no intention of staying in this place, but I also am learning more every year that if I haven't gotten there by sheer willpower yet, it's something in me that is well...lets be honest...damaged and in need of healing before I can be different.  I mean, I can tell myself I want to run a marathon, but if my leg is broken, no amount of training or running on a broken leg will get me through 26 miles of pavement!

There are some big things that hang out in my heart, mostly too tender to share in this public forum, but I'm just saying it out loud that I am doing my bit toward healing in these things.  There will be resting, there will be praying, there will be listening, practicing patience, restraint, seeking of wisdom, and perhaps some letting go.  Hopefully there will be healing that follows.

So instead of what I am running for, or from, this year, it's about what I am releasing.  I hope your new year is full of beauty, wonder, and healing.

1 comment:

mamdajo said...

Ah, what a refreshing and honest description of facing a new year. Thanks for your candor and courage. I'm sure it will be a year of great growth and victory for you!

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