I had a great conversation with a friend of mine from church tonight. She shared a lot of things, but the thing I latched onto the most was this idea that people at church are 'perfect.' They look perfect, act perfect, speak perfectly and try to present that side of themselves as the only truth. And for someone who feels like they don't have it together, this can be pretty intimidating.
My response to her was this:
If I can be that good, why do I need a savior? I don't know about you, but I can't do it all right. I can't be that person. I mess up, I am rude, mean, dishonest, selfish and I yell at my husband (just for starters)! I'm not trying to be those things on purpose, but this is the nature of my broken and sick self. Not that I revel in it. I don't enjoy being a crappy person. In fact, I would like to take a magic pill so that everyone would like me, I'd never offend anyone, I'd be perfect and Godly, cool and wise. But until that pill exists (and I venture to say it never will) I'll just have to turn my days over to someone bigger than myself, trusting that he is doing something in my heart that I may not see, recognize, or understand, but that will turn out exactly as he planned for me. Not that I even do that very well!
2 comments:
Great post. You are dead on. Being imperfect makes the fact that God still wants us to be near Him and in a relationship with Him so much more humbling, I think anyway. It is so annoying when people...especially church people put on the perfect front...why not be honest and express gratitude for the grace and mercy instead? Just a thought? Hope you are doing well. Getting excited about your new baby girl :)
I am getting excited! Mostly I am tired of being pregnant. It's no fun any more.
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