New Specs

And the blessings just keep coming. You'll remember that I broke my glasses last week, but in spite of my determination to go through my days with hot glue holding my glasses together, someone offered to get new ones for me. How awesome is that?! (This person didn't want to be on the blog, so I'm leaving them anonymous)

So here they are...my new specs and before anyone says so, because I know you will think it, I'll go ahead and say it, since I love this about them..."Jinkies!!"

Care

Caring is the thread that binds us, one to another. We have been so cared for, so blessed, so provided for, I can't help but to turn around and give that away again. It's being God's hands, feet, arms, and chef. (If God had a chef :) )

That being said, I found a great way to coordinate caring for others. CareCalendar.org is about filling the needs of others. Created to help coordinate care for their own large family it is now a wonderful (and FREE!) tool for others to turn and do the same. I signed up a fellow Mama from my MOMS club and church and am helping coordinate her meals when her new baby arrives.

It has great features, not just meals! A calendar that those with a code can log into to sign up for caring for the one in need, email reminders, the ability to update those who are caring with news, photos, etc. It's a fabulous tool! I can't wait to use it to care. Pass it on to your church, your MOPs group, your friends, your 12 step group, whatever! Just thought I'd share. 'Cause caring is sharing. :)

Quick and Easy Homemade Mac and Cheese-y

Still cooking on a budget around here! I wanted to make homemade mac and cheese for dinner the other night, but have you seen how long these recipes take?! And do I have cream just hanging around the house? Nope. So after flipping through lots of recipes, I did what I always do. I made one up. Here it is!
PS. I hardly ever measure when I am making stuff up, so the ingredients are an approximation of what I do which is more like a pinch here, a dash there, dump a little, taste, dump a little more. You know how it is.

Quick and Easy Mac and Cheese-y

Cook 16 oz of macaroni noodles as per package directions, drain and set aside. You can do this whilst (doncha love the world whilst?) you make the sauce.

2 tbs olive oil (or your favorite cooking oil)
1/4 cup finely chopped onions
1 tsp or 1 clove finely chopped or pressed garlic
2 tbs flour
1 tsp salt
1 12 oz can evaporated milk (NOT CONDENSED!!!)
5-6 oz grated extra sharp cheddar

Heat oil to medium heat in large sauce pan. Cook onions until a little soft. Add garlic. Cook until almost brown. Add flour and stir continually until it begins to barely brown (like making a gravy base) Don't burn the flour! (or garlic, it's not nice burnt)
Pour can of evaporated milk into pan, a bit at a time, stirring constantly. Add the salt.
Once milk is heated, slowly add the cheese, stirring until it is melted before adding more. Stir constantly as it will thicken fast and you don't want it to boil. If it gets too hot, turn down the heat!
Once all the cheese is added and melted, dump in the drained noodles. Stir it all together and serve hot! For extra fun, add ham or other meats that you think go great with cheddar!

Considering how much cheese and evaporated milk is in this recipe, I have to put the disclaimer that this is not for the faint of waistline. :)

Serves lots.

When it rains...

It's been rainy spring weather for several days and I am loving it. Windows are flung wide and fans move the air from room to room. It took some adjusting, but so far we have avoided turning on the A/C. Helpful for strained budgets! The baby bear continues to grow and bring moments of joy to our house with her ready smile and wiggles. I was sharing yesterday at our neighborhood group how in spite of everything that is going on I really feel as though I am buoyed up on top of our troubles, and I do. I know we are loved and cared for by the maker of the universe. Pretty great, huh? Here's some moments that have been a part of this week:

Someone finally learned to roll!


As I was drying my glasses last night, they literally broke in two in my hand. They ARE, after all, only plastic and about 8 years old now, but since the Geek still has no job, we have no insurance to replace them and with eyes like mine, thy are VERY pricey glasses ($400 or so)


I happen to have the sweetest little swimmer ever. Here she is rockin' her tankini. (with red cloth diaper cover that was replaced by matching swim diaper bottom AFTER we got to the pool)


And hanging on to her car seat for dear life...(is it really that rough in a car seat?)


And finally, getting tricked into enjoying tummy time. Sneaky Mama! I put her on the back of the chair and she looks out of the window at birds, sky, trees, grass, violets, etc.




Gizmo likes the open window too. Cat TV!!


Add to that cool evenings sitting on the porch with a small girl in my lap who finds stars and twilight skies as beautiful as I find them and you have a recipe for perfection.

Happy Half Birthday, baby!

The baby girl is 6 months old today and in honor of her half birthday, I present...mini-geek.


Our girl is a 'Papa's girl'. Total strangers stop him and say how much she looks like him! I love to see them laugh together. Isn't it sweet? Happy half birthday beautiful baby! And here's one with Mama just for good measure.

This is one of those moments when I'm glad I never got a tatoo

Giggle!

I love this baby.

Days into days

Who put time on fast forward? Seriously. Stop it. My tiny baby is HUGE (relatively) and it all just seems like a blur with one day melting into the next. Has it really been nearly 6 months since she arrived? Have I REALLY been sitting on my butt and not exercising for that long? My brain says no, but my waistline says yes.

I feel like I'm being thwarted on the working out front. First I nearly broke my toe and could hardly walk and now that my toe is feeling better, I have a cold. If I don't want it to linger, now should probably not be the time to wear myself out with a new exercise program. Sigh. I'll get there. I WILL! Now, it's off to the grocery store while the baby sleeps and the hubby keeps her. That is the ONE perk of an unemployed hubby. I don't have to hire a babysitter! Wheee!

Bring on the Produce!

Avalon Acres Farm is starting their CSA soon! For those of you who don't know what CSA is, it stands for Community Supported Agriculture. It means that people in the community buy a share of produce from the farm (or collective of farms in this case) and get a weekly return of produce, meat, eggs and bread (all or some of these, depending on the type of share). We did it last year and loved it! It took some getting used to, since I had to learn how to cook some new (to me) types of produce and I think this year I'll freeze more so we aren't throwing food away. Hmmm. Just think! Homemade baby food from farm produce. That makes me happy.

Anyhoo. We didn't think we could afford it this year, what with the layoff and all, but they are giving us a little extra help since they know the Geek is unemployed! I thought that was so kind! I hope he finds a job soon so we can, in turn, offer them our support. Here's a link where you can sign up! Summer CSA.

As an aside, we are overwhelmed by the support our neighborhood, both local and virtual, has given us. I have yet to have to buy clothes for our baby what with the bags and bags of cute hand-me-downs, a sweet friend (from high school!) send us a large box from diapers.com filled with formula and baby veggies, two other friends bought the baby bear a box of formula, just out of the blue. A childhood friend, that I haven't seen in probably 17 years, sent us a check that helped us cover our mortgage. People we don't know, but are a part of our neighborhood google group, have dropped off formula...the list goes on and on. We are loved and provided for!! I am so very grateful.

(the images in this post were included in emails from Avalon Acres Farms last year. Gorgeous produce huh?)

Photo by request & East Nashville Cooperative Ministry Easter Lunch

We went to the East Nashville Cooperative Ministry Easter lunch (older site here, but with more info) yesterday and there was a clown. I'm a terrible document-er of these things, but I had to take the baby bear's photo with her painted on bow and flowers. I'm so not a girly kind of mama and the last time she wore a bow, it was stuck on by hospital staff. But it was sweet and Laura said 'I want to see a photo of that on your blog'. So here's my little girly girl. With her bow. :)

A little more info about the Lunch. Our church's neighborhood groups partnered with ENCM to bring food for this event. A meal for those in need and more info about what ENCM does. I was a bit distracted, what with having my baby girl there, but the Cooperative ministry does great things and brings together many different types of churches and organizations to help people in need in the community. In fact, this was where we picked up free formula and a food box for our family, for which we are very grateful.

Illustrator's block

I'm working on some illustrations for a children's book my friend is writing. I know I can do it, but I sit down to the paper and I freeze up. I read books to my daughter and I get caught up in how awesome the illustrations look and how I could never make mine look like that! This is my deadliest disease. I compare myself to others.

I am good at a ton of things, but exceptionally good at only a few. It is those things I doubt the most. Why? Because I care too much. What if my friend doesn't like my artwork? Is it the end of the world? No. But I want her to like it so very much. And the fear of her not liking it keeps me from putting pencil to paper.

It's the same with my music. I live in a town full of the most incredible musicians. And when I write (or sing), I compare myself to people who have been doing this professionally for upwards of 20 years! And I want you to like it. I want you to LOVE it. I forget the fact that I love DOING it and get caught up in what you think. So today I write. Today I draw. Today I paint because I love it and I'll shut out that little voice that worries that no one will like my work. It's not truly for you anyway because I would do it even if I was the only person left on earth.

Just as a little aside...go here for a little pick-me-up for your day. I love it when the inside glory of someone shines!

Anniversary Photo Booth!

The Geek and I go every year on our anniversary and take a photo in a photo booth. It sometimes takes a couple of tries to find one that is not out of order, so the photo isn't always EXACTLY on our anniversary, but close. Here's this year's photo!


Here's to five years of 'ups', 'downs', and 'all arounds' with arguably the best man I've ever known. We don't always walk the easiest path together, but we stick it out, no matter what. And since we have been together 5 years, here are 5 reasons (but there are many more) why my husband is awesome, in no particular order.

1. You love me so very well and I've never been anything but beautiful in your eyes. (even swollen up and pregnant!) That is a rare thing among husbands.

2. Your sense of humor keeps me laughing through it all.

3. We made the most beautiful baby this year. Seriously. Could your genes be any better?

4. You love God and you show that in the most honest of ways.

5. You are quite possibly the smartest and most imaginative man I know. I love to see that side of you. I can't wait to have you explain how to play board games to our children!

Pants won't fit...immediate action required!

Picture this...myself, the baby Bear in her Bjorn, the dog, the 38 week preggo neighbor and her dog, stumping around the block (and facing off with collar and leash free neighborhood dogs). Oh yeah. We are awesome!

I am so not fitting in my pants lately. I've gained 20lbs since the Squid was born. Yipe! So I put on my tennies, now that my toe is no longer purple and hit the pavement. It was a good walk! I'm hoping to get more in now that the chill is off the days. Pretty soon I'll be complaining about the heat!

Back again - 5 Years - and other thoughts

A week of the grid was hard! I admit, I cheated. I was supposed to be tech free, but the Geek and I watched a movie for date night and when I got REALLY bored, the baby was in bed, I didn't want to sketch anymore, I had finished my books, and still had nothing to do (and didn't feel like playing my guitar), I watched a show on hulu. I wrote in my journal, I sang to my baby a lot, I resisted going to websites to read. It was good. I realized that I can use anything to escape life and I could remove every possible distraction and STILL retreat into my head. It's safe there!

So no profound mysteries solved, but I did take more time for life, instead of living here on this tiny screen. After awhile, I didn't miss Twitter. I still don't miss it! In fact, I may not turn it back on since we are cutting out all expenses, and knocking our cell phones down to the lowest possible plan (which won't include texting, so I'll let you all know when that starts!) It's good to be back and have the 'interwebs' be a tool, rather than my life.

On to more news...

1. The Geek and I celebrated 5 years together as man and wife. I'll post more about that later when I have a fun picture to show you. 04-03-09. Oh yeah! It happened while I was off the grid and you have no idea how hard it was not to make a post then and brag on my man.

2. Still no job. Hubs had 2 interviews last week and neither panned out. Keep praying! I'm headed to the WIC office on Wednesday - more about this later too.

Going off the grid

photo from here

Last week I nearly broke my big toe, putting me out of commission for a long time. In fact, it still hurts and I can't really walk that far. As I sat around with nothing to do (well, nothing I WANTED to do) I realized how dependent I am on the internet for so many things. I must have checked my email about 30 times the first day, watched hulu during nap times and spent countless hours browsing through facebook and leaving little comments on my friend's comments. At the end of the day, I felt sick and achy. No, not from the pain medicine, but from staring at this little screen for hours and hours. This was not the way I was made to operate! I know that technology can be wonderful, but between twitter, hulu, netflix instant movies, email, google groups, yahoo groups, and SO many more, I am not in touch with what is truely happening around me. It's SPRING for heaven's sake, and I'd rather be typing? I think not.

SO, starting Tuesday (tomorrow), for one week, I am signing off. I'm going off the grid. No twittering, no watching movies on hulu or netflix, no obsessively checking my email and my status to see if whatever little tidbit of information I submit to the masses is being commented upon and therefore validating my existence. I care TOO much and am disappointed when no one comments on my quippy little blurb! Sad isn't it?

Some things remain because, honestly they are such a part of normal life now, I'm not sure I could maintain any sort of contact with the human world without them.
They are:
My phone - since I don't have a home phone it'll have to be my cell phone, and
Email - but only once a day. I figure I check the postal mail once a day (sometimes), I can check my email one per day too.

I'll miss the little beeps my phone makes to tell me someone has twittered me, but I'll survive. Who knows! Perhaps I'll pick up my guitar again. Perhaps I won't be checking my email while a beautiful baby rests in my lap trying to get me to look her in the eyes. Perhaps I'll learn something more about a friend than can be said in 140 characters. I'll let you know what happens. (and yes, I fully expect withdrawl.) :)

I'm 5 months old today!!

Hi,
I'm the Baby Bear, also know as Cora, Squidoot, Squid, Doot, Little, Toad, My Girl, and whatever other name my Mama and Papa can think up for me in the moment.

Today I am 5 months old!
My favorite things are: :)

• Sleep - I'd rather do this than eat sometimes
• My whale and dangle-y sea creature friends that hook onto my play mat
• Mama
• Snuggling with Mama
• My mobile of ladybugs which I talk to when it sings to me
• Singing with Mama (long 'goos' and 'coos' when we sing together)
• Papa
• Fuzzy beard kisses from Papa
• Machine gun fire (speed) kisses
• Zerberts on my tummy
• Eating my fist
• Swimming in the bathtub
• Being outside!
• Being naked! In fact, if you want to see me REALLY wiggle and squeal, change my diaper!
• Exploring. For example: Did you know I have toes?! They look tasty.
  
• Sticking out my tongue. In fact, I only put it inside my mouth when I sleep. I like to taste the world!

I do not like: :(

• Tummy time (but Mama still makes me do it - break out the earplugs!)
• The cat in my face (for now). I've only just realized that he and the dog are living beings!
  
• When Mama Bear and Papa Bear do not prepare my bottle in a timely manner
• Missing my naptime
• Eczema - it makes me all itchy!

Not much else I don't like. I'm a pretty happy girl!

I can:

• Sit up, supported
• I love to stand up! See the first photo. I've got strong legs. (Mama says, please ignore her post baby (additional) chubbiness.)
• Wiggle and ooch backward while on my back - but refuse to roll over (see Tummy time, ICK!)
• Coo, squeal, smile, giggle and pull Mama's hair and Papa's beard (also Papa's nose)
• Grab things and put them in my mouth (although my aim is still off mostly)

I'm still blue eyed, (I don't think this is going to change, but you never know) and I weigh about 14 lbs. Not much, but I'm still growing! I'm in the 5-10 percentile for babies my age (birth date, not due date). At my last Doc appointment I was 2 feet long! I'm sure I'm taller by now...I can FEEL it!

Anyway, here's me in my awesome blue dress (which is REALLY a shirt from Mama's friend Mandy), but works for a dress too. I also like to eat my dress.
This is the face I make when Mama pulls out the camera.

See! I told you I like to be naked. (Mama hates that she has to resort to onboard flash to get a photo of me that is not a blur. I'm just so wiggly!)
And just for good measure...baby toes

Rain, Rain, I guess gardens need you, but after that, GO AWAY!

Today seems like it never began! It was never morning, just one shade of ick all day long. Now it's 5pm and it's the same color outside that it was this morning, and at noon. Yuck. Plus I cannot figure out this baby girl. She's tired, but doesn't want to sleep. She's hungry, but won't eat. If I hold her, she wants down, if I put her down, she's ok for a few minutes and then crying again. AAARG!

I'm struggling with sleep training(if you can even call it that) through all of this. For the last nearly 5 months of her life, if she needed me, she cried and I came to her. Now, I let her fuss it out, or sometimes cry it out. Last night, I felt as if I was breaking trust with her. Now some part of her knows I won't come if she cries and it hurts my little mama heart. I know she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own at some point, but it just breaks my heart to hear her cry. When I finally go get her, she cries like her feelings are hurt! Oh I can't take it! Now she's finally asleep and I want to go get her, snuggle her, and tell her how much I love her! But how does she know I mean it? There are many opinions out there about this and I don't know what mine is yet, but I know that I'm sad about this stage. She's my tiny girl! And yet not so tiny any more.

For Mandy

This post is for all you mamas out there who wonder why everyone else has a shinier, cleaner, happier, more productive life than you, and how in the world they do it all. Here's why (and how): IT'S NOT TRUE and WE DON'T! (I've asked this question too) So I'm coming clean (or rather dirty) about the current state of my house. Here's the mess.

The dishes - So many I had to use the kitchen floor for pots and pans. We've been ignoring these dishes for some time now. (Note the overflowing recycling bins behind them)

The laundry - clean (to be folded and covering my dining room table) and dirty (taking up space in the kitchen floor aka the laundry room atrium)
The groceries - which never got fully put away before something (or some little one) needed my attention more. (Plus, why put these away when they amuse the cat for HOURS?) :)


Here's the one chore I got done: (and this isn't all of them! I had to do it in 2 shifts.)

Why yes, yes I do like to precariously perch my pots and pans so they pivot between peril and perfection while I pontificate on and on about my penchant for perniciously thwarting penury. I also like alliteration. Can you tell? Hee hee!

On the other hand, last week I focused on relationships and went on a picnic, attended 'Happy Our' at my sweet friend's house, had a date with hubby, played with my baby a TON and let the house go. Alice told me this poem when the baby bear was first born and I keep it in mind when I look around and see my disaster of a house.

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow

For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep

I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep!"

~ Anonymous

and I'll add to that - neither do friendships! I love you friend!!

On the cheap - a day in the park

I'm a bad, bad chronicler, at least in terms of photos. The baby bear and I packed our lunch to join other mamas in the park for a (free) get-together. Shelby Park is one of the loveliest parks in our fair city with the Cumberland river running right beside acres and acres of wooded hills. I love that park. *sigh* Because of rainy days previous to our alfresco adventure, I brought along a huge tarp to share with other mamas. Everyone should own a tarp, I personally feel. And an umbrella to protect my delicate baby's skin from the midday sun. It's such a nice colorful umbrella! Then you look more closely and realize it's one of those artsy umbrellas and this one sports a repeating image of 'The Scream' by Edvard Munch. A bit creepy, but it was free so there. But I digress!

Sadly only one other mama showed up to our Baby Mama meetup. Oh well. She and I had such a nice time anyway! We talked about layoffs, cloth diapering, coupons, the works! I snacked on a pb&h (peanut butter and honey) sandwich while trying not to drool over her burger.

The baby bear thought the umbrella was the 'bees knees' and told me and the umbrella so, a lot! Then she fell asleep in the shade of the oak tree we camped under whose leaves were still hanging on from the autumn (brown and shriveled), wrapped in a blanket to keep the breeze off of her toes. I did take a photo of that.


Then home with pink cheeks and full senses from a lovely day in the park! She fell asleep in her bed, all tuckered out with something new...a lovey. She had her pick of all of the ones we were given and this is how I found her when I went to check on her.



A whole day of soaking up spring. Cost? Not a thing.

On the cheap - date night!

Last night the Geek and I went out for our Tuesday night regularly scheduled date. Being as we are BROKE and the Geek is unemployed, doing it on the cheap is crucial. As luck (or kindness) would have it, my good friend over at Beyond the Fried is a Bzz Agent and this time around is testing out the 'Guiltless Grill' items at Chili's. She hooked me up with some free entree' coupons and off we went!

I used a little of my (quickly dwindling) saved allowance to spring for an appetizer and the Geek ordered a soda. All told, with tax and a 15% tip, our very filling dinner came to a whopping $16.61. Whoo hoo! Then we came home, put the baby to bed (yes, she came on our date) and plunked on the floor (our couch is waiting for the Geek to get a job before it is repaired) to watch the film Stardust, courtesy of Netflix to which we subscribe anyhow. We had a great time! For less than $20. Take that, economy!!

On the cheap - handmade love

The penny pinching continues, but that doesn't mean that there aren't still things I want to do, buy etc. My neighbor is having a baby soon and I've been collecting things here and there for her shower. She requested gently used items! How great is that?! I found some sweet gently used things, but wanted to make her something special. I had a couple of ideas but settled on some soft crochet balls for the baby. I made these without anything inside, but when you make them you can add things inside, like a shaker egg, or a bell. Anything that won't come out or open up while inside. (An Easter egg with pebbles? - seal the egg shut!)



I started with this pattern from Martha Stewart online, but I'm not sure if anyone actually crocheted (is that a word?) up this pattern before they published it. It makes more like a football than a round ball. I had to do some re-writing, but it's a great place to start for the general idea. I used a worsted weight yarn (Red Heart 'soft yarn' - Cheap, washable, oh so nice!) with an F size crochet hook.

Here's my modifications to Martha's pattern: (This is for the yarn and hook size listed above)
Follow her pattern through 'Round 11'. Then...
Round 12 and 13: 1 sc in each st to end of round. Finish off.

Make 2 and stitch halves together except for one inch. Stuff the ball until it is firm - when you squish it and holds its shape.

Add something that rattles or jingles for fun! You can also use wool and felt this ball in your washing machine after you've stuffed it, using a little less stuffing, then dry on low. (Can you imagine a dryer full of these bouncing around? It makes me smile to think of it.) I got 2 of the three done and feverishly hooked and hooked trying to finish the third, but didn't. The girls at the shower thought I was crocheting a yarmulke! It does resemble one before it's stitched to its other half.

PS. Hide these from the cat!

And finally...the baby bear gives her grin of approval for these soft fun balls. Hasn't she gotten big!?

On the cheap - a return to my past

As you know, the Geek has been laid off since oooooh, December, and things are getting a LITTLE tight around here. But while I'm not going to turn this into a 'being cheap' blog ie...'the laid off geek and the starving artist', I wanted to share a coupla things we've been doing around here. Now, I grew up pretty broke. 9 people (7 kids) in a 700 square foot, three bedroom trailer, living on co-op 5 gallon buckets of peanut butter and my mama's ever imaginative ways of making 'poor as dirt' seem not so bad. In fact I didn't know we were poor until High School. Last night I made one of my mama's standby recipes which she called 'chili-mac' but is really macaroni noodles with meat sauce - no chili involved. I've never made it before, but I realized as I finished it, why she did. It makes a HECK of a lot of food! So here it is, the recipe.

1 1lb box of macaroni noodles (bought on supersale at Kroger)
1 lb ground beef
1 28 oz (giant!) can tomato sauce
Appropriate spices - basil and oregano (which Mama always grew fresh) garlic and onion (either fresh, chopped and cooked til tender or dried, which is what I happened to have on hand), salt and a little pepper

Cook noodles in a giant pot until tender. Drain and set aside.
While noodles are cooking, brown the ground beef, drain any fat off
Add tomato sauce, flavor to taste with oregano, basil, garlic, onion and salt
Bring to a rapid boil and then let simmer for 5 minutes

Pour sauce over noodles, stir and serve. Top with Parmesan if you can afford it! :) Eat leftovers for lunch for several days. (feeds 7 hungry children once or 1 hungry husband for several days) Serve with fresh veggies grown in your garden (which we don't have yet).

While ideally the Geek needs a job, we'd like to ask you to pray for God's will for us. Whatever that is. We don't presume to know what He has in store for us and our best laid plans are nothing to His.

We made the switch! A journey from paper to cloth diapers.

Since our little lovey was born (4 months ago, can you believe it?!) we've been using disposable diapers. With every giant garbage bag full I experienced more and more guilt. I mean, those diapers are going to be around for my daughter's grandbabies!! I wanted to switch to cloth, but it was very intimidating. There are zillions of diapers, covers, all-in-ones, pocket diapers, fitted diapers, prefolds, contoured diapers...the list goes on and on and on and ON! I was totally overwhelmed. So I put it out there (on our local neighborhood google group) that I wanted to get started and a total stranger mama of twins invited me to her house to see her system. She even gave me a couple of diaper covers that her children had outgrown. Then our local diaper service donated (yes, DONATED!) a bunch of diapers, covers, diaperpail, pail liner, and cloth wipes to me. Another friend gave me a bag of more stuff with pre-folds, contoured diapers and snappies, then another mama gave me her all in one diapers! I was overflowing with cloth diapers and I hadn't even begun to put them on her bum.

Now, my mama cloth diapered us, but I remember this bucket of stinky diapers and liquid, (poop soup as cloth diapering sites refer to it) and I was not looking forward to that at all! Plus, the little plastic shorts...ick. But cloth diapering has come a long way! No more poop soup! They come in all colors, shapes designs, snaps, velcro, waterproof cloth and more! It was hard to imagine, but some of the cutest things out there for babies are diapers! And they are going to get pooped on! It's a whole world of work at home mamas fueling this thing. Most of the popular brands were made by mamas. I think that is amazing!

So in light of the Geeks still unemployed situation, I decided to go ahead and move on over to cloth. I tried a couple per day to get in the hang of things and finally decieded to not buy any more sposies (disposables). It was scary! But she hasn't leaked yet and I actually really enjoy knowing I am doing a good thing for our budget, the planet, and my baby's bum!

Because she is still so small and most of the stuff we were given is for bigger babies, I did buy pre-fold diapers in infant size, plus some covers too. But since I was going to have to spent that money on diapers in the next few weeks anyway, I don't feel guilty at all. I know I won't have to spend it again!

Kind people in my neighborhood gave me a list of where to begin and I am pretty much there. Here's what they recommended:

"But here's a good start if you do laundry every other day:

• 24 prefolds (either infant size or premium size depending on the weight of your baby)
• 3-5 covers (the younger your baby the more covers you will need... the same is true if you used a snappi or not. If you use a snappi you can get by with fewer covers)
• 2 diaper pail liners (one is in the wash with the dirties while the other is in the pail collecting dirties)
• 1 pail
• 1 snappi (these come in 2 different sizes depending on the age of your baby - infant and toddler)
• 20 wipes - if you are washing prefolds you might as well wash wipes... then you don't have to buy these at the store too. ( I made my own with those tiny wash cloths that we were given TONS of, and cut up least favorite flannel receiving blankets - yes they unravel a bit, but it's for cleaning up poo! It doesn't have to be perfect)
  
• 3 doublers - for extra absorbency during night/naps (these you need if you're not changing a diaper at night) I chose 3 hemp doublers from an online diaper shop GreenMountainDiapers.com"
• I also added a 'wet bag' (a waterproof bag for used wet diapers). A mama has to get out sometimes!! I also added a little spray bottle for my diaper bag to wet my cloth wipes.
  

So with our newly prepped pre-folds and covers in hand we began our adventure. Here's our first cloth diapering. The baby bear did not approve of being put in this bulky thing, plus Mama was trying to get the hang it too! (this was before we bought smaller pre-folds.)

Giant diaper bum!
My stash of diapers - they came like this and had to be prepped (washing in hot water and then drying 3-5 times)
After prepping they looked like this (fluffy!!)
This is what we use every day or 2 - minus the larger diapers on the right and not all of the wipes.
The pretty colored covers are by Thirsties. The white one is a Bummis Super Snap.

So far, so good! I'm not overwhelmed by laundry and we are in a groove.

I don't mean to whine, but...

I received a phone call from one of our bill companies today. Apparently the Geek had forgotten to pay this one. A simple mistake and it was only 2 days late, but the caller wanted it paid then and there on the phone. I told the Geek about it and it's taken care of, but I had a little panic over the fact that this may be our future soon.

We still have a huge stack of bills from the Baby Bear's birth that keep showing up. How many people saw her at the hospital?! Was this while I was knocked out, because I don't remember all of these people seeing her? And still, no job for the Geek. You know that verse about asking for bread and getting a stone? If it looks like a stone, and feels like a stone, and tastes like a stone is there any way it could still be bread in disguise? I'm wondering this as we wait, pray, and wonder.

Can I just escape?

I'm having a hard day. I want to crawl into bed, next to my little girl and not wake up until morning. Maybe things will be different tomorrow. I am grateful that I got to spend time with other mamas today.

I don't Wanna!

I have a list of things that need to be done around here, but I don't wanna do them. I just wanna sit around and play with my baby. When she's asleep I sit around and do all the things I can't do while she's awake, but none of them are responsible things that need to be done, just the fun stuff. I miss her when she sleeps. Is that weird? Hmmm.

Still no job, but maybe an interview for the Geek next week. Still no clean dishes, but maybe tomorrow. Still no organized coupons, but at least I cut them out. Still no exercise routine, but at least I'm thinking about working out instead of making cookies (and bought more veggies to cut up for snacks today). Still no sofa fixed, but at least for that I have an excuse. The Geek has put the kibosh on all extraneous spending out until he has a job, so parts for the sofa have to wait. I guess I should have waited to dismantle the sofa, huh.

Still don't know if I'll get to go to TX. I am hoping so.

Happy Valentines Day! (Early, so I don't forget)

And here's a little Valentine Cupid to make it all that much more sweet.

Don't Panic!!

I'm really trying not to. The Geek lost his job shortly before Christmas and now the severance package is drawing to a close. We still have medial bills from the baby bear's birth (that we didn't have enough savings to cover), and I am wondering what in the WORLD we are going to do! I am desperately trying to remember that my husband is not my provider. God is. I need to remember that!! The Geek is weighed down by all of this and I can tell it's effecting him, both in heart and mind. He suggested I go stay with my parents until he finds a job, but I'm not sure that will be the best plan. I don't want to be apart.

I really struggle with this whole 'God is my provider' thing. What if God wants us to learn a hard lesson about our finances and is letting us fall on our face before he picks us up? The scripture about him 'chastening' us so we learn keeps running around in my head. I'm asking for bread and it feels like I'm getting the stone! It's hard not to get into panic and fear (my hangers-on of old) when I know that the last check is on it's way to us and after that, (although not immediately) we could lose the house and default on our bills! That's worst case scenario, I know, but I feel like it's there, like a cliff I'm being pushed toward.

I don't understand the plan, but I'm supposed to trust and do what He asks me to. So what are you asking me to do?

Just be

I have a lovely cousin who's blog is based on a quote.

"Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings." ~ Jane Austen

That is been my life as of late. Naptimes, mom groups, more naptimes, nursing (just for comfort), bottles, walks with mom friends, laundry that miraculously replicates before my eyes, dishes, dinner and sleeping. It goes like this every day. Day in, day out. I wake up and giggle with my girl and the rest of the day goes by in a blur. This used to bother me when she first got here. I am starting to adjust. To slow down, to let things go that don't matter and just be. It's nice.

The Baby Bear and her Aunt 'Shell'

I found this picture of my baby sister Michelle. Look how much our baby looks like her! Shocking really. We have lost most of our family pictures in an unfortunate accident so baby photos are rare and I'm still hunting for mine. But I was so surprised to see how much Cora looks like her aunt. Also in the photo is me on the left and my sister Shiloh on the right. (Michelle is the baby, of course).
and just for reference, and because I can't get enough of her...

As my friend says when she sees cuteness...'Squeee!"

I have to practically stalk this child with a camera to catch these, but I managed to, on my phone camera! I could just eat this baby with a spoon! So here they are, her first captured smiles for your cheering up and baby deliciousness.

Take action mamas!

Did you know that soon the government is going to ban the reselling of children's clothes and toys? Yeah. No craigslist, no ebay, no thrift stores unless you can prove that they've been tested for lead and pthalates.

Speak up cheap mamas! Here's a link to read more: babycheapskate

All you crafters and etsy gurus, this applies to you and your hand-mades. Congress passed this in the wake of all the lead contaminated toys from other countries, but didn't take into account how it would affect small business people. Here's a place to protest!

Read more about it here too.

Cora smiled!

I'm still trying to capture it, but I just couldn't resist telling you all!

Caffeine induced insomnia

1am
The husband snores
I can hear it through the baby monitor
It's chilly and dark down here
with the ones I love upstairs
fast asleep
But sleep is elusive
for mamas who drink
caffeine at 11 pm
The baby will be up soon
hungry
and fussy
I'll feed her
then we'll snuggle down
in our bed
and try to sleep until
dawn

Questions for the day

Why do I feel like a bad mother if I let my baby girl fuss (not cry) herself to sleep if she's not IN MY ARMS?

Why does the heater make my skin chapped?

Why did I need to sleep 15 of the last 24 hours?

Why am I so hungry if I'm not nursing?

Tell those checker blocks!

Being the clever mama that I am (wink wink), I went to Photoshop and made my own graphics for Cora to look at and taped them to her changing table. (If you want them, I'll email you the pdf files!) This is her, telling them all about it! Isn't she the best? Diaper changes are sooo fun now!

As for the tag, I once tried to talk Matt into letting me put the word "squidoo" on a Scrabble board, because it's just such a fun word that it SHOULD be real (and I suck at scrabble and can only make up words that should be real, rather than actual real words). Somehow it weaseled its way into our vocabulary and since Cora is just such a little doot, the squidoo part just got attached. So more often than not, Squidoot or Squidoo or Doot, or just Squid. Not the most girly nickname but fun to say and I love our Squidoo!

Update: Apparently baby brain has gotten the better of me and I forgot I already posted this photo. So here's another to make you happy!

This cute outfit made possible by Great Aunt Jennie and Great Uncle Larry - Thanks!

I can't resolve, so I surrender. Happy New Year!

I was talking with my hubby today after some sweet cuddle time and I brought up the topic of New Years resolutions. He wasn't doing any because what is the point and why say you are going to start something just because the calendar says a different year. Hmm. I understand, but I still like to do them, at least in my head. Then no one will know I've given them up by say...mid February. Then as I pondered, I realized that I've never kept resolutions. I'm just crap at them!

If everything I've been learning lately is true, then here are my thoughts for the new year. I'll list the things I would like to do, but can't because of my stubbornness, my addiction to sugar and french fries, my unwillingness to take direction or counsel, my ignorance, my weaknesses, my physical limitations, my upbringing, fears, or my bad habits. These are the things I've resolved to do, again and again, and never have.

Get down to a healthy body weight
Get out of debt
Write every day
Practice my guitar every day
Treat Matt with kindness every day
Cultivate friendships by being intentional with people

These are great goals, but for reasons listed above, I've never accomplished them or done the daily ones for more than say...two weeks. Now what if I spend the next year surrendering these things over to God, asking him to change me (because I do a bang up job of changing myself, right?) and make me into the woman he created me to be? I wonder what January 2010 will look like? I'll let you know.

While my Squidoo gently sleeps

Yes, Cora has many names. Toad (for the faces she makes), Squid, Squidoo, Squeaker, Angel baby, Squirt, Tiny, Gorgeous, Grumpy...we call her so many things. Right now she is sleeping and I have a moment to breathe!

The days pass in a haze of about 12 hours. It's all I can manage to stay awake for in a stretch. And they often run from noon to midnight. I'm trying to change that. To get back on a human schedule. I do so like structure. I never knew how much until I had a babe. My horribly unstructured mind needs something to provide it with edges to bump up against.

In the quiet moments when the Squidoo is asleep, I'm not doing laundry or dishes. No, I am reading and watching Netflix movies. The house is not too far this side of chaos and so I'm not feeling guilty about that. The days are cold(ish) and sunny and soon I will form a plan to reclaim some semblance of physical health, but for now, it's movies, books, fig newtons and short walks in the winter sun.

This week's films were:
Into the Wild - somehow this movie annoyed me that he finally figured out that life was about relationships and then he died, because he was too stubborn to take some survival training before he walked out 'into the wild.' The gypsy life has always had a draw to me, but I never wanted to do it alone.
Outsourced - I more watched this for my Sister in Law and it was slightly amusing, but had great footage of India.
Definitly, Maybe - a prime example of how most of the romantic comedies from Netflix are crap I wouldn't pay to see in the theatre, but looked mildly amusing so I add them to my queue. Not one I'd recommend.

Books I'm still in the middle of:
The Shack. I don't want to talk about this book yet, but I am reading it.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - Matt reads to me and Cora at night and we just started book 4. I figure she won't be old enough to read these for some time and is too young to know what he is saying yet!

Happy New Year!

We rang in the new year with neighbors and friends while our wee sprog kept us company and refused to sleep! There's so much to think about for this coming year. So much I'd like to do, see, and learn. I haven't even begun to get still and think but I will be carving out some time this coming week to do just that. My dear friend Tara Leigh twittered this earlier today and I found it so fitting: "My only resolution for 2009 is to put my hope in God and not give way to fear." Fear is the thing that waits outside the door for me. Whispering doubt through the cracks and I can choose to stand and listen or to put my trust in something else. Someone else.

Matt (oh let's face it, you all know our names) is job hunting and I am mothering our tiny girl. It's a cloistered life right now. The state of the economy has only reached a small finger in to touch us financially for now, but as I flipped through the New York Times year in pictures, I am reminded how big the world is and how much we are still in need of someone to save us from ourselves. I can't find that in presidents, or a fat investment portfolio. I can't find it it relationships, although they bring me joy. I can't find it in politics, or a job, or being a famous songwriter. Call me ignorant, call me naive, call me backward, or religious, but it seems my only hope in this swirling chaos of a planet is to put my trust in someone bigger than myself. Without that trust, I am back listening to the whispers of fear that threaten to engulf my very sanity. I'll be thinking on that as I ponder this new year. May yours be filled with joy.