It's early, but I can't sleep. There comes a point where it's more painful to lie there than to get up and do something else for awhile, giving my poor beleaguered shoulders a break for awhile. It's funny the things that come to me while it's dark still. Things I should have done or could have done or day-dreams (although, granted, it's still night). For example.
1. How long would it take us to completely pay off our debt if some benevolent stranger or long lost, decidedly rich relative decided to pay off our house note. Answer? 18 months (including all the school loans left! Yay!
2. What should I have done all those years ago when a lover (read boy-friend, I just like the term) was torn about whether he should marry me and instead of deciding for himself, broke down, cried, and told me he was going to kill himself over it. At 2 am. While we lived 600 miles apart. In retrospect, I should have politely turned off my phone for the rest of the night and when he called in the morning politely informed him what a manipulative, spineless person he was and promptly ended the relationship thereby saving myself years of therapy and tons of angst filled songs that didn't end up on any album, such drivel as they were. Here's the catch 22. Without all those years of therapy, I'd never have been able to make a healthy decision regarding this situation and would have been doomed to repeat the same angst filled struggle with a new fella of my infinitely poor choosing. Ah...irony. Instead I got my Geek, which was a sweeter deal by far. He has all his hair and thinks I'm gorgeous no matter how much I weigh or am sweaty, fresh from the gym, or puttering around the house in a raggedy old man-robe tied smartly around my expanding belly. It's rather nice.
3. How to build an island with a dishwasher in my kitchen and how many friends should be able to be seated at that island at one time? Cost? How long will it take to save that much money? Is it a good investment? Considering dishes are a huge point of contention around here since both of us hate to do them and we currently do it the old fashioned way -soap, water, dish rack (no, not sand and a river, you smart alec!), YES.
4. Pondering why it is that I am always hungry a this hour of the night/morning. So hungry it wakes me up! C'mon girl! Give your mama a break would ya? Can't you live off the fat of the land (or in this case, belly) for about 8 hours? No? Alright. Break out the mixed nuts.
5. Squint at the clock. I'm too tired to put on my glasses, but I am too blind to see the clock without them. I've found that if I let my eyes tear up with tired eye-watering, and squint, with my left eye closed, I can one time out of five, make out 2 of the numbers on the clock. Provided they are not numbers that could be another number with the addition of a bar or 2. Such as 2, 6, or 5 (which could all be 8, depending on the level of bleariness) or 0 for that matter, or 3. OK. So it only works if the numbers are mostly 4's. Crap. I have to let go of my secret hope that pregnancy might improve my vision. Heck, it's making my feet bigger. A girl's gotta have dreams you know.
6. Drag back upstairs to hubby who is blissfully unaware that I am even missing and attempt to sleep again. At least until it's daylight for heavens sake!
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