A v. Bridget Jones day

Am having a v. Bridget Jones kind of day so though I'd blog in manner of H. Fielding's character although, granted, not as funny as am not singleton with modern plot of Jane Austen woven into personal love life. If you please, this is from book, not silly film where what's her name made me want to pull lungs out of throat she played it so Bloody awkward.

3:10 am Husband came to bed after fiddling with his computer late, but was already awake in need of second trip to toilet. Ask him to fetch me a tylenol which is perhaps the most useless pain killer ever invented and yet I cling to it like life's blood! Why must ibuprofens hurt the unborn? Why?
3:30 am Husband has finally fallen asleep after thrashing around, getting annoyed with breathing machine (C-Pap), and wrestling the covers. Am wide awake and ache in back has worsened.

3:35 am Have begun to think about baby and usually she wiggles if I'm awake in the middle of the night.

3:45 am Am obsessing about lack of movement and have decided a warm bath might make back ache go away. Don't want to bathe with lights on, as am still in denial telling myself that turning lights on will fully wake me up.

3:47 am Bathe in the semi-darkness with only light coming from neighbors bright pink security light. Back still aching.

4:05 am Am back in bed, trying to settling in to sleep. Baby begins to move and am content with 'fetal movement count.' Am now v. hungry. Try to ignore it.

4:15 am Drink water from handy (ever-present) water bottle. Makes hunger worse. Begin thinking of nice turkey sandwich....must stop thinking!! Go to sleep!

5:15 am Give up trying to sleep and don tatty man-robe to go and quest for sandwich. End up eating turkey and some cut up cantaloupe, feeling v. smug about my level of self control as I ignore the choc. chips that call me. Check emails and whine to self that of 32 blogs I follow, no-one has updated. Stupid sleeping people.

5:45 am Trundle upstairs, husband has not moved from original position and it might take an air horn to wake him. Snuggle up and try to get comfy. Can't. Can't help thinking that mask, while helping him sleep and keeping him from damaging his heart from snoring, makes him look a little like an elephant. A cute elephant with a beard. Kiss his cheek and he mouthes a reply, but don't understand as am not a v. accomplished lip reader. Am dreading the day ahead with so little sleep (only 6 hours - went to bed around 9 pm). Give up trying to sleep.

6:16 am Back downstairs. Ice back and lay on couch in weird position with knees propped on four or five pillows and miraculously, fall asleep.

7:35 am Wake up with dead right hand from dangling off of couch. Since I had a bath at 3:45 am there is no need for a morning shower so I dress for work. Back hurts worse now and hubby pleads with me to take care of myself and skive off work. Ignore him and try to bravely go on.

8:02 am Find self reclined in lay-boy chair and unable to get up. Call boss and tell her I am taking day off to rest my back. We discuss whether or not I should go ahead and give notice since body has decided to become like old car and once one part is fixed, the next part breaks. Comparing body to old Chevy does wonders for self-esteem, but can currently blame it all on baby. Am still doing good with weight, but belly gets in the way and am feeling more and more like an orange, with legs.

11:05 am Have spent morning making trips to potty, drinking water, icing back muscles, reading Bridget Jones, rolling off couch to hunt for food which so far has included:

Eggs (2) and rye toast (2)
1 Tortilla chip with a dip of queso (did not like it cold, am to lazy to heat it up)
15 Cheddar cheese Doritos (seemed like the lazy version of chips and queso)
8 chocolate chips (finally gave in to the call)
1 weight watchers popcicle (only 2 points!)
Raisins - (am pretending that these shriveled remnants of grapes are, in fact, a fruit)


Finally figured out why the cat can't stay out of the broken window that I covered with a blanket. A small black kitten has taken up lodging on our back balcony. The last kitten we adopted from the alley cost us $200+ in vet bills with ear infections, neutering, etc. Am not interested in having a new one. Still. It's little, so I set out a tiny bit of food. Can't let animules starve! Now, to distract myself from more Doritos and chocolate chips, am blogging.